So what exactly are you supposed to do if you don't particularly want anything in life?


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So what exactly are you supposed to do if you don't particularly want anything in life? I look around me and see what other people live for and it honestly doesn't interest me or if I had experienced it already I found it overrated

Thing is, I don't even feel depressed either.

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >So what exactly are you supposed to do if you don't particularly want anything in life?
    Indecision is decision itself.

    Now I ask, is this what you really want?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      To die

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Indecision will fling OP towards hell if he doesn't get off his ass soon.
      The clock is ticking.
      If he doesn't care about family, friends or community he's not even a man.
      He should do something positive to help others but he will probably just post about his laziness on this board until he dies alone.
      But then again he has the power to change that.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's not really laziness though

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm In a similar position. I have a lot of savings enough to buy a house because I just am not interested in anything money can buy. I don't care where I live. I don't see the point in buying a house when it's just me. There isn't a single part of my country I feel drawn to that I'd want to live there either. I don't really seem to want anything. I was just born like this

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I was/am somewhat like this, amphetamine helps, gave me the confidence to believe I had options, most interests I do get always fade away quickly, but I found one thing which stays constant which is my interest in neuroscience, as there's so many questions about myself which there are yet to be answers.

    I want to go into research and don't care about the money from it or anything else, I just want to show researchers in the field how incompetent they are.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Common problem for intelligent people. The rewards of a disciplined conformist life are uninteresting to us. Competing for a mate. Growing wealth. Rich social life. Retirement done right etc. The opening monologue in Trainspotting says it perfectly. That's why the character dove into hard drug addiction. Something else. Something compelling.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I wouldn't call myself intelligent

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Peggy Lee Syndrome

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've always been like that, I consider myself an observer in life, nothing more. This is my farewell tour.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like you are struggling with apathy. There is no specific goal to life or expectation of what you should want from this weird experience. I have never gone through this problem specifically. Maybe you would find joy from an alternate viewpoint. I find this planet compelling. We are a young species plagued by the unchanging rules of entropy huddling together to make sense of an experience we barely have to capacity to articulate.

      I like reading thoughtful posts from anonymous strangers about meaningful life topics. Helps to get an idea of what others make of all this. Priceless, really. Thanks to the internet we are all about to learn so much more than anyone prior. Learn about ourselves and everyone else. Its more complex -- being human -- than it may seem, and people have brilliant takes on the experience.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Glad you enjoyed it. Existence is weird, but this planet does have tacos. 8/10. Would exist again. Just explore this thing while it lasts and try to have fun when you can. That is what I have been doing.

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like you are struggling with apathy. There is no specific goal to life or expectation of what you should want from this weird experience. I have never gone through this problem specifically. Maybe you would find joy from an alternate viewpoint. I find this planet compelling. We are a young species plagued by the unchanging rules of entropy huddling together to make sense of an experience we barely have to capacity to articulate.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Op here

      Maybe but I feel I was at my most miserable and depressed when I was doing things because I knew that's what you were supposed to do.

      Im pretty content living the simple life and I feel I don't bother anyone yet a lot of people I feel get the vibe they expect more from me and I'm starting to see younger people in my family (like my cousin's kids who are now in their 20s) lapping me in life depsite me being in my 30s. Yet I still don't know what it's all for.

      Common problem for intelligent people. The rewards of a disciplined conformist life are uninteresting to us. Competing for a mate. Growing wealth. Rich social life. Retirement done right etc. The opening monologue in Trainspotting says it perfectly. That's why the character dove into hard drug addiction. Something else. Something compelling.

      I wouldn't consider myself intelligent, I never went to uni/college or whatever. I'm not a dumbass or anything either, I feel I can learn things if I'm interested enough, until I lose interest in it.

      I just see a lot of stuff I'm "supposed to want" and it doesn't interest me at all. Even white collar office jobs doesn't interest me and don't see how anyone can seem to love the idea of having a career or climbing the corporate ladder. Even things like going to restaurants doesn't interest me which is something most people seem to live for in their spare time out of work.

      The only thing I probably want is maybe a family and kids. But I honestly feel like I have missed the boat to find someone to grow with to have a family with. And seeing that I'm at the age where I'm starting to see marriages break down, it really frightens me to marry the wrong woman or a lazy/dumb woman. The juice doesn't seem to be worth the squeeze unless you found someone truely great while you were young.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Same boat, I don't think there's any answer. Maybe it's biological, maybe some wires in our brains got crossed wrong during puberty, who knows? Most people seem to yearn for sex so it gives them some drive but for me it always seemed silly. Especialy when I see people act retarded and destroy their lives because of it, seems inexplicable to me yet it happens.
    Maybe we just never got taught what we are supposed to want or we questioned what others told us? I think for many people without goals, either religion or ideology might work, as an outside force to guide them through life. But I don't think it's for everyone, and many take it too far.

    I personally just find a few simple things in life that I enjoy, and the rest is escapism. I like to cook and eat nice meals, I like to go shooting from time to time, and I love laying in bed and imagining worlds and adventures in my head. I tried writing, but I lack discipline for it.
    Another thing that works for me is alcohol and drugs, I genuinely enjoy both of those things more than anything, and it takes a lot of self discipline to not go to the deep end but it works for now.
    I hope you find what you want, I came to conclusion that there is nothing really wrong with my lifestyle, that's just how it is.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You have:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        How does this help or even vaguely change anyone's life by applying some dumb label

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >yu VILL take yur meds
        >yu VILL be happy
        talk about a sensible response to this fucked up world

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    you just breathe bro
    read/listen to Alan Watts

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Perhaps you already have what you want in life, and you won't realize it until it's gone.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I honestly feel that I do. I feel I've beaten my materialistic desires and frivolous spending. I have no desire to travel as I've found it to be a meme. And don't care for restaurants and fine dining that most people seem to live for. So I don't know what's the point of "working hard" or striving to earn big to fund such a lifestlye

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I can relate to this thread, also generally nice discussion for this part of the internet.
        As a random tidbit travelling can be a bit of a meme, esp if you do it normie style.

        But I think there is value in getting into nature, lighting a fire, camping. Just existing outside of the human world for a bit. Can be peaceful and a nice change of scenery.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I relate to much of OP and what was said

          I understand where you're coming from, all the big milestone stuff society celebrates is entirely self-serving to perpetuate the system to continue running. Nothing inherently wrong with that when it benefits the people, but it can be a hassle to find a comfortable place when the benefits it offers aren't tantalizing enough to coax you. It's kinda wild to think about it too, no middleground for the people who just want to enjoy life in the most lax way possible, the very nature of capitalism makes you at least semi-competitive or else you just lose everything. In order to live a semi-carefree life, you have to bust ass in some way or form. The only way i know to cope is that life owes everyone nothing and that at least in my hard work i've earned my carefree portions of life when I'm off the clock. I hope someday society advances where people like us don't have to bust ass/be born rich to seek alternative ways to be satisfied with life beyond the default.

          Same boat, I don't think there's any answer. Maybe it's biological, maybe some wires in our brains got crossed wrong during puberty, who knows? Most people seem to yearn for sex so it gives them some drive but for me it always seemed silly. Especialy when I see people act retarded and destroy their lives because of it, seems inexplicable to me yet it happens.
          Maybe we just never got taught what we are supposed to want or we questioned what others told us? I think for many people without goals, either religion or ideology might work, as an outside force to guide them through life. But I don't think it's for everyone, and many take it too far.

          I personally just find a few simple things in life that I enjoy, and the rest is escapism. I like to cook and eat nice meals, I like to go shooting from time to time, and I love laying in bed and imagining worlds and adventures in my head. I tried writing, but I lack discipline for it.
          Another thing that works for me is alcohol and drugs, I genuinely enjoy both of those things more than anything, and it takes a lot of self discipline to not go to the deep end but it works for now.
          I hope you find what you want, I came to conclusion that there is nothing really wrong with my lifestyle, that's just how it is.

          Here
          But all I can add that has struck interest in me is nature. Going to natural parks in my state for a week and just chilling. My only 5 year goal is to see the milky way in 10 different darksky parks by then. It doesn't cure my general ennui or whatever we wanna call this semidepressed impassioned feeling but nature reminds me the feeling doesn't matter much in the long run. Sometimes its ok to just be without a passion in life motivating you forward. Maybe nature is cold and empty and devoid of innate passion for humanity's self created social problems but that doesn't mean a full moon still can't stop you in your tracks.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            How is what we have not "depression?"

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Idk I hate depression but call it whatever. I know I dont want to kill myself so theres that. And when I was first going through depression the numbness felt neverending but now I know its something that comes and goes. So long as I can feel anything I know I am not in the worst of depression and as long as I can manage myself I can survive. Since what's true of me can also be true of you I can't consider where I am today to be my version of depression.

              But today does still suck only faking my way through it all again. Ah well. All I can do for it is try to stick to the routine that works best and try to see some more sun.

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I feel the same way. A lifetime of misery has made me incredibly apathetic. I have zero interests anymore, I despise people, I am constantly exhausted. The only thing that motivates me is sex, but for that I need money because I don't have what's necessary to get it for free.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    the one thing I know I want for sure is a motorcycle, but I know it'll be exactly like when I finally bought myself a gaming pc, it'll stop being attractive after I've gotten it

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Independent of what you think you've been told to go after, what do you want? Me, I want to travel and see many places and meet many people and get into bar fights and fuck whores of the world like a sailor or cowboy of old times. So I signed up for the merchant marine academy and I've taken up mma. Haven't started merchant mariner training yet but we'll see.

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I used to make big plans or fantasize about some career or place, then try it and realize it wasn’t anything I wanted. Then I’d get extra depressed. I’ve gotten better about avoiding this cycle, but I did take a risk and flew up to Alaska—a place I’ve wanted to visit for at least a decade—this summer. It is actually pretty close to how I imagined it, and it’s been better than any other state I’ve visited, but I don’t think I can stay long term because the problem ultimately is that I literally turn suicidal if I wageslave for more than 6 months. I do not want to be homeless in AK, so I might move south or just kill myself. I guess we’ll see. My point is that you might never fix the aimlessness or lack of desire. I haven’t

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Most people don't understand the concept of not wanting anything

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Are you really not that materialistic?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          How do you get by?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Fine

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I understand where you're coming from, all the big milestone stuff society celebrates is entirely self-serving to perpetuate the system to continue running. Nothing inherently wrong with that when it benefits the people, but it can be a hassle to find a comfortable place when the benefits it offers aren't tantalizing enough to coax you. It's kinda wild to think about it too, no middleground for the people who just want to enjoy life in the most lax way possible, the very nature of capitalism makes you at least semi-competitive or else you just lose everything. In order to live a semi-carefree life, you have to bust ass in some way or form. The only way i know to cope is that life owes everyone nothing and that at least in my hard work i've earned my carefree portions of life when I'm off the clock. I hope someday society advances where people like us don't have to bust ass/be born rich to seek alternative ways to be satisfied with life beyond the default.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't understand when LULZ became a place for weirdos who want money and women and expensive houses

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Somewhere around 2016 for absolutely no reason at all

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Make other people's lives worse off.
    There is no other option.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I mean, seriously.
      You do need to know that not only this lack of will to do anything is going to screw your life over in the long run, there is no way out of it.
      But, you can still drag other people down with you.
      This part of you is abnormal, but it most certainly is either permanent or very hard to get rid of, if you're older than 15.
      So, you can not want anything, but be a drag to everyone else.
      Destroying yourself and destroying others as well.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Uh

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Same, bump bc I pray some anon will have an answer outside meds

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Thing is, I don't even feel depressed either.

    Thing is, you probably are. Not saying go take meds, but you probably are.

    All i can reliably tell you is that if you dont want something now, you will probably not have anything later. you'll just have lost time.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      How is what we have not "depression?"

      Op here, I've felt true depression and it was when I was doing all the stuff that "you're supposed to do". When I had a more prestigious job, had a gf, had friends, travelled. Had a social life etc. All those thing wore me down because I knew deep down I didn't care for all of those things and felt like a massive chore.

      It's when I stopped chasing all that , simplified my life, is when i cured my depression. I felt like I sacrificed ego, pleasure, vanity, arrogance etc to defeat my depression. It's just makes me wonder what is suppsoed to be the other option if I'm "living my life wrong". Like say if I don't care for materialistic things now....why is there such a pressure to climb the ranks career-wise ? What is it all for?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Youre still getting there, still depressed

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Thing is, I don't even feel depressed either.

          Thing is, you probably are. Not saying go take meds, but you probably are.

          All i can reliably tell you is that if you dont want something now, you will probably not have anything later. you'll just have lost time.

          You need to shut the hell up and stop applying labels so mindlessly to be honest

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fucking same. My worst depression was when "everything is going so well for you!". Had a friend with ever more "everything is going well for you" lifestyle and then he killed himself. No one saw it coming not even me cause I was too consumed with this idea that if I grew colder to everyone maybe it wouldn't be so bad when I kill myself.

        His funeral was what started my desire to snap out of it. And I did end up leaving my ego and social anxiety and the whole motivation to do everything "right" on the table in order to feel anything past my depression.

        Still haven't found my passion at 30. But after the worst of my depression I was only ever motivated to be able to take care of myself. So I have done that and done it well enough. I follow all the better selfcare advice to avoid backsliding into the numb void pit and some of it works but nothing motivates me past this spiteful feeling of "fuck you universe im not gonna kill myself kill me your damn self if you want it that badly".

        All I have found that helps this passionless feeling and the fear that passionless living is "wrong" is nature and helping people. Helping people is nice, reminds me I do belong around people in need, distracts me from my own bullshit, lot of good from just being nice to a homeless guy or helping others clean up trash. Nature because well its nature. Nature doesn't give a fuck if youre passion is bird watching or hiking or skinny dipping or laying out on the dirt and only looking up. Nature is gonna be what its gonna be, that bird is gonna shit where it wanted to shit and that tree is gonna stand where it stands and the rivers gonna go where it pleases not giving a single fuck about your individual passion for kayaking or fishing. So I appreciate that about nature. Love being reminded that its ok to not give a fuck cause most everything natural doesn't really give a fuck.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Bro, op here again, that's alot of the shit I'm feeling.

          Especially the thing about taking care of yourself, it was something I neglected for so long because I was miserable about all the complexities in my life, maybe my time management is just really bad because some people can handle it all plus the self care. Exercise is a big help and the bit about not wanting to die. I was on anti depressants for years and I realised that suicide was a side effect and I realised it was a mind control so I weened myself off slowly (after the doc refused to show me how) and then came to my relaisaitons that I just wanted a simple life. And bam fast forward 4 year later. They discovered that depression being a chemical imbalance that I was told and so many were told was a load of crap. It's our bodies signal telling us something is not right in our lives and that we need to work on it or address it or remove it. And something I realised is that "fix" is not something that can be purchased or bought. You can try to have a more lavish holiday or buy a more expensive piece of clothing but once you get that temporary hit, you will get that same feeling after and will expect a bigger spend to get that same "fix".

          I think because the most basic goals have been taken from us or no longer needed, like during hunter gatherer times we need some sense of achievement.....just like when people finally caught their food or prepped their meal. So it's like we are all on that carrot on a stick life. It comes back to that whole nature thing. It's probably why when people finally have time off they want to go camping or go away somewhere and LARP as more primitive or LARP the van life because deep down people probably really do want a simpler life but we are all tied down by modern life

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes exactly especially with the last paragraph. Probably our minds haven't adapted/evolved as fast as society and so buying into the whole pay to play for the sake of paying to play is too abstract. But I dont want to live like a perpetual camper. In fact when I do travel to parks I tend to pick rather nice cabins with wifi and heating and toilets. I do enjoy much of the ease of modern world, I wouldn't want to go back to any simpler time because I doubt that existed for long after humans started living in large city-state societies.

            I don't want simplicity I guess. I want good people, with all their complicated bullshit. I want good food and to hang out in forests in my free time and I still want wifi options.

            Idk I guess what bothers me is everything I want is easy to get but hid behind this forced scarcity. Probably some rich fuck I could blame for that but what good does that do. Its sad though because I know many that wants things simpler too but theres this underlying idea of scarcity. As if time has a hard limit or this fear that if one doesn't find their motivating goal soon it will be for nothing.

            Definitely any mental illness is our body telling us something is wrong but the flipside of the mind is that mental illness has this attachment to ones identity that hates change. So you know you need to change and at the same time your mind lies to you that its impossible to change. Its fucked. And so much of the current mental awareness talking points the media uses only reinforces the egos desire to not change. Gets tiring.

            Again all I can say is help people and try to find ways to appreciate the little things about the natural world. It isn't a cure all but ancestors didnt only get their sense of achievement from killing an animal but from bringing the animal back to the village and being rewarded by his social group for doing something good for everyone.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >why is there such a pressure to climb the ranks career-wise ? What is it all for?
        I think a big part of what we are feeling is caused by a cultural pressure. We are told that we not only need to be successful but also want to be successful. We're supposed to want to have a family, and we are supposed to want to have many material things. Because that is what society requires: people who are willing to work long and hard hours, who are willing to take on great responsibility, such as having a family, and carry it.
        Society doesn't really benefit from people who just want to live and be content, and be left to their own devices. Because they don't produce and don't consume. And when everyone around you tells you that what you're feeling is wrong, you start believing it.

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m like this and I think it has to do with overthinking things. I don’t know exactly what causes the overthinking, maybe some combination of trauma/isolation/maladaptive personality traits. What I’m getting at is that there exists a level of cognition that is helpful, but if you go beyond that level it becomes a hindrance. I claim that ‘normal’ human functionality does not deal well with constantly questioning the reasons and merits behind why we do things, rather it just does them or acts. The point at which we start rigorously digging into the reasons why we do the things we do and whether we really enjoy the things we do is the point at which the mind becomes as much our enemy and a force for evil than a useful tool.

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe people like us were supposed to just he cannon fodder in war lol

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can just go along with the flow without having any feelings about it. Life itself has become a big joke so any emotional attachments you might have to it are a recipe for depression. Work on yourself for your own happiness and stay away from marriage and children.

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You continue to do things for their own sake.

    Try as much as you can, achieve as much as you're able and maybe you'll become grateful and find a purpose along the way. Even if you don't perhaps it'll give you enough perspective or insight to make your own purpose.

    At least you'll have options and experiences this way instead of simply waiting for death or illness to take you. Which could be a really long, boring time.

    Why not seek it out by living and doing risky stuff or working an interesting but in a precarious occupation if that's what you want? Volunteer to hunt poachers in Africa for instance.

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You become a plumber and coast through until you die

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