how do i stop wanting to die I feel like I'm going insane
I lost my baby and he left me and told me he will get a restraining order I can't do this I want to die but I'm afraid
how do I go on with all this it's impossible??
how do i talk about being suicidal without people saying im looking for sympathy or threatening or blackmailing them?
how do I say, him leaving me makes me want to die, not getting his support with the miscarriage makes me want to die? without getting blamed as manipulative?
how do I stop going insane before I actually go and kill myself? I already cut myself and bled a lot and I felt nothing
I unironically think you should go to a mental health crisis center.
Sorry for your loss op, see a doctor and a psychologist asap. You deserved better tbh
thank you no one said that to me before, he just told me to stop panicking, and i have no one else, so it means a lot
i will try to get help but i have no motivation to
it feels like id just take up resources, we have trouble with that here anyway
Postnatal depression is a very real thing, and a good reason for some short-term anti-depression meds.
I'm currently on depression medication, I have been since childhood, but now I'm getting panic attacks and they get so bad I start only thinking about death
I had beta blockers but I have no access to a pharmacy to get them after they ran out
but you're right they do help some
I told him so many times I just needed friendly support, not even to have him back, I needed him to tell me what I went through was awful and that I didn't deserve it, but he wouldn't, he'd rather leave
I'm so lost why do I have to love him?
He made my life so much brighter until suddenly I was no longer good enough
And all this time I forgave so many things and so much anger from him because I know he has problems and it's hard on him
Last conversation we had he said the only reason he was there was because he didn't want to get the blame for me killing myself
I'm too broken to do anything right now
I kind of just want to vent sorry
I got many laughs here so I thought asking here would help and I appreciate the kind responses
sorry if I'm using this wrong
I felt comfort just being here because he comes on here a lot
but I think in the end I just can't do this, sorry all, I can't cope with this all
>I told him so many times I just needed friendly support, not even to have him back
He can't be that for you. You can't keep asking him to.
I know I'm selfish. I just have no one else really. And with him being the father and someone I loved for a long time, it's hard to not get support and instead just coldness
You'd cause him so much pain with your selfishness that he felt the only way he could feel safe is with a restraining order? You'd do that to someone you love? Can you really call it love at that point or are you just using him?
I think Dialectical Behavior Therapy would do you well. It focuses on:
Oh thank you I looked a bit into that, I had never even heard of it
I'm saving so I can get a psychotherapist, this will probably be something to keep in mind wiht that
There's also a work book you can buy that guides you through the concepts. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Workbook on Amazon will get you they're
also he lives in a different country but both our countries are in the EU, how would a restraining order affect me other than the obvious?
I'm honestly scared because I have never had any legal trouble other than unpaid bills
the obvious being that I can't contact him, if he went that far just to get away from me I would not want to anyway
my medication is vortioxetine, I'm afraid taking a large enough dose will hurt and take a long time to take effect, but I'm too scared to do it some other way
I want to fall asleep on the couch where we used to cuddle and think I'm leaning my head on his chest again
I hope it will end like a long dream, since he's usually in those
If you'll read this, I love you, you made me happy, despite everything the time I had with you was the best I've had. I wish you would have found us to be worth fighting for, like I did. Farewell Bobby
I hope you will find happiness where ever it is life takes you from here on
love, your goofy
How'd your episode go, OP?
read this paper:
it is titled "suicide as escape from self".
it helped me understand the motivation underlying suicidal tendencies, and gave me confidence in my ability to overcome it.
I hope OP is okay and well, this seems like a rushed decision and impulsive as well.