This shirt is for people who believe interstellar diplomacy should involve fewer treaties and more toys. It’s the kind of thing you wear when you’ve fully embraced the idea that Earth is basically an open mic night for sentient weirdos, and you’re just here to get abducted or do the abducting,whichever happens first. It suggests [...]
This shirt is a prophecy bound to the architects of balance and the keepers of the great cosmic receipts. Karma doesnβt care for your excuses, nor does simple probability. The IOUs will be coming due — in a big way — even if you were too stupid to see it coming. This shirt is for [...]
Did we leap joyfully into the passenger seat, thinking we were going somewhere wonderful, only to find ourselves abandoned in some celestial Walmart parking lot, waiting for a mercy that may or may not arrive? Maybe God just ran in for a quick errand. Maybe He got distracted. Maybe He isn’t coming back. Maybe the [...]
Even in the most serene and out of the place villages, the world is a 24/7 battlefield. I’m talking about the quiet war of hesitation, self-doubt, and the invisible chains of expectations. Every day, you’re told to ask permission, to follow the well-lit path someone else paved, and to autistically adhere to a whole bunch [...]
Crafted for the true kings and queens of the digital world, the masters of savage tweets, the lords of clapbacks. You drop bombs in comment sections that send boomers into cardiac arrest, then log off like it’s nothing. Because this isn’t the medieval age and the real battlefield these days is on the screen. Time [...]
The doo-wop keeps you cultured; the shanking keeps you feared. Millennials might roll their eyes and nervously clutch their $450 avocado toasts, but deep down, they know you’re a relic from a more rugged, unhinged era…one where people settled disputes with melee weapons and a well-timed jitterbug to the liver. This shirt has received prestigious [...]
Bluhh! Dracula, the once-dreaded count of Transylvania, has decided to switch things up. Gone are the days of creeping through dark castles and summoning storms. Now he’s hanging out at the gas station and making sure everyone gets a little bit of that legendary succ. This is a creature of the night who knows how [...]
A flicker on a radar screen, a whistleblower with a suspiciously well-rehearsed story, a grainy video that cuts to black at just the right moment… The UFO mythos isn’t about visitors from another world. It’s about control. Nothing distracts quite like the promise of the impossible, dangled just out of reach. The men in suits [...]
There’s something beautifully absurd about wearing a pure truth nvke on your chest delivered with the unbothered serenity of an insane cult leader in flowing robes. The quote on the shirt, lifted from the famous viral clip (see youtube video below), is pure gold — delivered in Guru Osho’s signature half-drowsy, half-laser-focused cadence, like he’s [...]
The “shopping cart test” is a sociological concept used to gauge an individual’s commitment to societal norms and responsibility, and whether they are capable of being part of a high trust society. It’s a litmus test for good citizenship, based on whether someone returns their shopping cart to its proper place when done with it [...]
There is delicious booty to be had. You hear it before you see it — the rumor on the wind, the clink of something valuable, the echo of laughter that could mean gold… or something else entirely. You adjust your grip and grin, because either way, you didn’t come this far to turn back. You [...]
The Homeless People Are Sexy shirt seeks to address the homelessness crisis by fundamentally reframing our perception of homeless people. While the approach may raise eyebrows, the shirt’s message is designed to very powerfully prompt reflection on preconceived notions that allow us to ignore and otherize the unhoused. By crowding out negatively loaded associations like [...]
A vintage, homey print that feels like a wink from your favorite mid-century cookbook. This tee sits relaxed at the shoulders and drapes cleanly, easy to move in while tending houseplants or brewing a slow cup of coffee. It’s an understated retro vibe that pairs with worn jeans or a cozy cardigan. Built to last [...]
The dumpster is full of stinky garbage consumed in a raging inferno of flames. The message is somehow still uplifting. This shirt is a playful reminder that even in the midst of total disaster, you still choose to shine.
A verdict wrapped in cotton. A wearable mic drop. It doesn’t wish them well, nor does it curse them outright — it simply hands them the consequences of their own actions on a silver platter and struts away. This is the shirt you wear when you’ve transcended petty arguments and reached the divine level of [...]
You are not afraid. You see them for what they are — parasites, liars, the twisted fingers of something deeper, something that pulls the strings of the world with silent laughter. They have names, but none worth speaking. This shirt is a covenant of blood and sustainable US cotton. Truth is carved into its every [...]
I’m sitting in my office with a half-empty bottle of bourbon, a smoldering cigarette, and a grudge against the one thing that could push me over the edge: corn cobs. You see, corn cobs are the worst kind of criminals. They look harmless enough, all wrapped up in husks like some kind of rural charm. [...]
The revolution begins subtly. Positive Chudjak spreads from person to person, jumping across borders, lighting up offices, marketplaces, online zoom calls. As the energy grows, you notice sad songs are being rewritten into upbeat anthems. Movies that once ended in heartbreak now burst into spontaneous dance numbers. Powerful new positivity laws emerge — not by [...]
Touch Grass, Not Minors reads like the unholy marriage of a Twitter subtweet and a court-ordered PSA, but make it fashion. Itβs not trying to start a movement. Itβs just tired. Tired of Discord mods. Tired of people defending the indefensible with anime avatars and the moral compass of a microwave. The shirt is preaching [...]
This is not a gorilla at peace. This is a gorilla locked in a quiet internal standoff, jaw set, eyes narrowed, weighing the exact moment when restraint runs out and force takes over. The bananas are down. Diplomacy is fragile. The tension is doing all the talking. Stare long enough and you’ll recognize the look; [...]
Subway trains are not your personal circus, and no one sitting in them bought a ticket to your unsolicited performance. We don’t care that some reporter decided to call your activity “showtime” or “busking.” We do not consent to your sweaty ass gyrations as you swing from branch to branch in the hand hold jungle. [...]