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Recent shirts
You ever see someone who’s buzzing around, doing the most, no plan but somehow making it work? That’s crackhead energy. It’s always moving, always thinking, always doing. Like a wild squirrel on a sugar rush, just go, go, go until the wheels fall off, but you still keep sprinting on foot. No hesitation. Every idea [...]
I’ve been telling all my friends: “Don’t mess with my son, he’s a pure 4k noscope alpha male!” Because you’re not just any alpha male, you’re the ultimate one. Every time you post one of those memes, like the one with the dude in a suit, looking off into the distance like he’s plotting world [...]
Every time I look at another man and feel the forbidden urge that’s not supposed to be there naturally, I swear, there’s one of those chemtrails up there in the sky brainwashing me with chemicals and shit. I try to ignore it, but they’re freaking zapping my junk with extra zesty supercompounds cooked up in [...]
The yellow graphics and distressed lettering makes it feel ripped straight from underground shortbus flyers. Great for people who live for gritty riffs, vintage zines, and charity basement gigs. It translates the adrenaline of a live set into a piece you can slip on anytime, from weekend shows to meetups with fellow tards. Be confrontationally [...]
The meme that we are stuck paying taxes to pedophiles isn’t necessarily always meant as a factual claim so much as a gut-punch way of saying “I loathe and distrust the institutions that rob my money.” It’s shorthand for the idea that power structures are corrupt, unaccountable, and shield their worst actors. Still, they did [...]
There’s like this switch inside of me, on one side, I’m loyal to the bone, there for you no matter what. But on the other, I’m numb, distant, almost like I could turn cold without a second thought. Maybe I’m just afraid of getting too close. It’s easier to keep people at arm’s length and [...]
“Clown world” suggests incompetence, cream pies, and slapstick in bright colors. What we’re actually dealing with is an evil clown world, where even absurdity is a weapon. Things that should be treated with seriousness are mocked into meaninglessness, while things that deserve scrutiny are wrapped in jokes and irony until no one feels responsible for [...]
“Ok, Boomer,” huh? Well, let me tell ya, kiddo, I’m just here living my best life, and I deserve it. Back in my day, we had to actually get out there and grind if we wanted anything. Boy, did we ever. No shortcuts, no participation trophies, just good old-fashioned elbow grease and determination. I started [...]
Borderline Personality Disorder is complex and multifaceted, but when viewed as a superpower, it ranks up there with the best. Consider the following. A key characteristic of the disorder is that emotions are felt deeply and with a vividness that others may never experience. Someone with BPD can feel a moment of joy more intensely, [...]
If a UFO has been hovering in the background of your life, this is your RSVP. No more screaming, just an exasperated readiness for whatever comes next. You’ve got a thousand places to be, even if one of them is a beam of light snatching you from your bedroom at night. The UFO is of [...]
(NARRATOR: moody, mysterious kid) The Earth doesn’t give a shit about us. We’re just pests feeding off it until it decides to wipe the slate clean. That’s the real truth. It’s too late to fix anything, and I’m tired of hearing people act like they’re gonna change the course of fate with some recycled “eco-friendly” [...]
You’ve heard the rumors of organized 24/7 harassment. It’s all true. Every device is a listening post, and every street corner is a potential site for a directed staring attack (it’s NOT you acting weird in public). But things have changed.. The hunt is no longer a game. This is a legally binding threat.
In startup and engineering culture, “minimum viable” means just enough to function. And in terms of your mental faculties: yes, the system is running, but that’s about as good as it gets. Yours is the kind of brain that may solve a problem eventually, but will almost certainly forget where it left its coffee. Conversations [...]
At first it was just a kind of static itch behind the eyes. Then they aligned like a constellation only visible from inside the skull, clicking together with the confidence of cheap polymers that have seen the future. The microplastics have dissolved the barrier between intuition and landfill. You know things now. You didn’t seek [...]
I don’t get it. One minute, Mommy’s hugging me, telling me I’m a good boy, and then the next, she puts me in a cage and drives me to this place with big gates and people in white coats. Next thing I’m in heaven with all the other good boys. I don’t understand what I [...]
Bigfoot truly could not care less. Believe, don’t believe…He’s still out there, moisturized, living his best forest life. Meanwhile, people will demand your belief, your agreement, and your emotional investment before they’ve even finished their second sentence. They want footnotes. They want loyalty. They want you to clap at the correct moments. Bigfoot reminds you [...]
I’m the property of MKULTRA Mommy Doms, a secret society of domineering big titted CIA neuroscientists turned dominatrixes. From the moment I signed the dotted line, I knew I was in for a wild ride. My entire existence is dedicated to pleasing my MKULTRA Mommy Doms. I live to serve, to obey, and to be [...]
We are being flooded with slave labor, and the middle class will soon no longer exist as we know it. The future contains only asset owners and hand to mouth serfs. That’s why you need to start hustlin’ as soon as possible, probably already when you are 2-3 years old. Toddlers without brutal 4k GORILLA [...]
Inside all of us, there are wolves. Wild, untamed, and fiercely protective of the parts of ourselves we’re not always ready to show. And those parts are retarded.
Every day, fentanyl claims the lives of thousands. The drug is often mixed with other substances without the user’s knowledge, and just a tiny amount of this stuff, the size of a few grains of salt, can be lethal. Whether it’s found in street drugs, prescription medications, or illicit substances, the risk of accidental overdose [...]
The perfect shirt for those who walk through the wreckage with hands in their pockets, who greet the rising mushroom cloud like an old friend, who find a strange kind of peace in knowing there’s nothing left to lose. Wear it like a prophecy, like a joke, like a love letter to the void.
This is a motivational shirt that looks like it escaped a self-help seminar by way of a ransom note, jittery with intent. Spiritually, it feels like getting mugged by a methed up lot lizard while Coast to Coast AM crackles through blown speakers in the background. Aliens, demons, shadow governments are all chiming in to [...]
When Chinese idioms are translated directly into English, they often lose their original nuance or sound oddly poetic in a way that might not fully make sense. They may even take on new meanings. This is especially true when Chinese phrases are used in signs, artwork, or even slogans. For example, a sign might not [...]
This shirt rips the pants off and makes deadly contact with your colon. There’s a special kind of person who looks at the Scoville scale and sees it as a dare. That person wears this shirt while demolishing wings that could legally qualify as chemical weapons. And it doesn’t just speak to your love of [...]
The black supremacist group Nation of Islam believes that 6,600 years ago, in Mecca, a 6’6” mad scientist established a 600-year-long breeding program to create a new “demon” race. Eventually this Yakub guy managed to create what we today call white people, to the great vexation of the oddly dressed black guys you see angrily [...]
They’re here. And they’re getting LOUDER. Now they scream through your spine at a frequency that’s contorting your brains like a fist sized tumor.
You put your money in bitcoin and now it’s crashing, again. The market waited until your last DCA was in to start shedding apocalyptic digits. DOMP EET. This shirt doesn’t offer sympathy. It’s more of a visual shrug. A mildly humorous nod to your financial decisions, made in optimism, fueled by memes, and now quietly [...]
You can’t read it and carry on with your day unbothered. It latches onto your brain and refuses to let go. There’s something about the blunt absurdity of it that feels both disturbing and weirdly comforting. Is it an invitation to explore? The line hangs there, innocent and menacing at once. It reads like a [...]
