Hi everyone reading this,

As the title says I need help. There's a girl that I know for about 3-4 months now. Well she has philophobia... And it hurts me everytime I think about it. She really doesn't know what to do.

I've met this girl on the internet and she lives 20 minutes from me (with my bike). It was fate that I had found her I guess. I had found her in a group chat on MSN. The first time I added her we started talking for about an hour. The next few days we started to talk more and more, until one of us fell asleep. I really was addicted to her. So I said that I liked her...

She didn't know what to say, a few minutes later she replied that she liked me to. We fell in love, I love a girl that I've never met, only chatting and calling her on the phone is the way of communication. We started calling alot and chat alot with eachother, by the way I'm 19 and she's 17.

Then New Year came, she stopped saying lovely things to me. She stopped starting chats with me, I asked why she has changed, she answered that she doesn't want a boyfriend. I asked her why and she said she doesn't want a boyfriend again. Now I've been understanding why she has been acting like this since New Year. She has Tumblr, and she posted a picture with Philophobia... And then I knew what this all was about. It really breaks my heart everytime I think about it. I really miss the feeling of given love.

Sometimes I start crying, I guess I'm a very emotional person for a male, since I'm only 19.

Anyone has some useful advice regarding my issue, if you do please post a comment.

Thanks in regard,
Mr. Lion

  1. 11 years ago

    I am a philophobic male so I understand how she feels. For a philophobic falling in love is a very scary experience. It is like we are in front of some kind of predator...we see that experience internally like it is a threat to our lives. We have a strong urge to run because of the anxiety we feel at the prospect of entering a relationship.

    Probably something happened with her last boyfriend; maybe he hurt her in some way. Usually philophobics associate pain/fear with love because of past experiences. Even if we want to be in a relationship, there is an inner struggle between that desire and our fear.

    It will take a lot of patience to help her heal the wounds of the past. Be patient with her. Respect her desire of been single for the moment. It is not easy. I think that of all the phobias this is one of the worst a person can have, because love is a beautiful thing, few people will understand how someone can be afraid of it. Breaking that pattern( fear=love) will take some time but it can be done.

  2. 11 years ago

    Don't pressure her. If you really care about her, then be her friend. show her that she can trust you as just a friend. She's obviously had some turmoil in her past, or bad situations that has made her afraid of being loved. don't make her feel bad! Understand her, respect her. She needs a friend, if you're up to it, be there for her. Once she feels safe with you, don't break her heart, cause what you do will affect her. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just being honest. It's hard finding someone you can trust, girl or boy. If you care and love her as much as you say, and are positive you're not just infatuated with her, then be patient. Be a good friend, let her know you're there for her (don't say it, show it) when she needs to talk, and actually listen to her.
    Good luck to you and your young friend. 🙂

  3. 11 years ago

    hey i know the same feeling dude and im only 12 and my freind told me he liked me and so did his lezbian cusine but talk to her about show tht u like her for who she is not for who she is not. show her tht u like her, shell get over it i got over my fear of talking to guys face to face. people with phobias sometimes get over it, unless its a severe case of the phobia. hoped i helped Good luck, tIFFANY

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