(NARRATOR: moody, mysterious kid) The Earth doesn’t give a shit about us. We’re just pests feeding off it until it decides to wipe the slate clean. That’s the real truth. It’s too late to fix anything, and I’m tired of hearing people act like they’re gonna change the course of fate with some recycled “eco-friendly” [...]
You’ve heard the rumors of organized 24/7 harassment. It’s all true. Every device is a listening post, and every street corner is a potential site for a directed staring attack (it’s NOT you acting weird in public). But things have changed.. The hunt is no longer a game. This is a legally binding threat.
There’s something about the banana, something no one expects. It’s just a fruit, right? The kind of thing you throw in a lunchbox and forget about. But here it is, gripping a cold, metallic implement of death. The gun doesn’t make the banana violent. It’s the world that made it this way. The gun is [...]
Everybody a CEO of one of those LLCs all of a sudden. Ain’t nobody even tryna hide it either. It feel like the government just cracked the door open and said “come grab it,” and people really sprintin’ through. Whole timeline look like a rap video. You can tell this some slick hustle too, ‘cause [...]
Who doesn’t love a good opinion? Not you. This shirt is for anyone who’s tired of pretending they care about the never-ending stream of insipid secondhand nonsense people feel compelled to shit out of their mouths and keyboards. Note the low effort and extremely default sans serif font choice. Perfection.
In startup and engineering culture, “minimum viable” means just enough to function. And in terms of your mental faculties: yes, the system is running, but that’s about as good as it gets. Yours is the kind of brain that may solve a problem eventually, but will almost certainly forget where it left its coffee. Conversations [...]
One minute I’m a functional human, the next minute lights are too bright and I need to get into my fursuit and yiff on Discord. Coincidence? No. LUNAR ACTIVATION. And yes, I know you say “You’ll grow out of it.” Probably. Just like werewolves do. AFTER THE FULL MOON GOES AWAY. This is a recurring [...]
At first it was just a kind of static itch behind the eyes. Then they aligned like a constellation only visible from inside the skull, clicking together with the confidence of cheap polymers that have seen the future. The microplastics have dissolved the barrier between intuition and landfill. You know things now. You didn’t seek [...]
I don’t get it. One minute, Mommy’s hugging me, telling me I’m a good boy, and then the next, she puts me in a cage and drives me to this place with big gates and people in white coats. Next thing I’m in heaven with all the other good boys. I don’t understand what I [...]
Bigfoot truly could not care less. Believe, don’t believe…He’s still out there, moisturized, living his best forest life. Meanwhile, people will demand your belief, your agreement, and your emotional investment before they’ve even finished their second sentence. They want footnotes. They want loyalty. They want you to clap at the correct moments. Bigfoot reminds you [...]
I’m the property of MKULTRA Mommy Doms, a secret society of domineering big titted CIA neuroscientists turned dominatrixes. From the moment I signed the dotted line, I knew I was in for a wild ride. My entire existence is dedicated to pleasing my MKULTRA Mommy Doms. I live to serve, to obey, and to be [...]
This is very unique good luck shirt for basketball. The front of shirt has very cool graphic with some strong message that is very exciting. Every part of shirt made for comfort (soft fabric), you can run, jump, do all the action moves appropriate to selected sport. You wear shirt and you feel power, you [...]
We are being flooded with slave labor, and the middle class will soon no longer exist as we know it. The future contains only asset owners and hand to mouth serfs. That’s why you need to start hustlin’ as soon as possible, probably already when you are 2-3 years old. Toddlers without brutal 4k GORILLA [...]
Inside all of us, there are wolves. Wild, untamed, and fiercely protective of the parts of ourselves we’re not always ready to show. And those parts are retarded.
A gritty illustration of a skeleton riding a motorcycle through pine trees sits beneath the bold line “Not Today, Satan,” giving the shirt a vintage, road-worn vibe. Because Satan’s whispers are weak in the face of someone who knows their worth. You’re too fast for him, like a shadow darting through the night, always one [...]
Every day, fentanyl claims the lives of thousands. The drug is often mixed with other substances without the user’s knowledge, and just a tiny amount of this stuff, the size of a few grains of salt, can be lethal. Whether it’s found in street drugs, prescription medications, or illicit substances, the risk of accidental overdose [...]
The perfect shirt for those who walk through the wreckage with hands in their pockets, who greet the rising mushroom cloud like an old friend, who find a strange kind of peace in knowing there’s nothing left to lose. Wear it like a prophecy, like a joke, like a love letter to the void.
ASS PAIN emerges from the drainpipe chorus and hits you with the grace of a goose doing parkour. Suddenly you’re walking like a refrigerator with feelings. People ask what’s wrong. You say ‘The concept of dignity dissolves.’ They nod. Warnings, Hazard: Made in Honduras
Yeah, we’re all just kind of digging through the trash for something half decent. People are rummaging through life, searching for meaning in half-finished dreams and crumpled-up hopes. The message is simple, yet strangely powerful: Embrace the mess. Own your trash. Everyone’s got it, so why pretend otherwise? You think I’m trash? Guess what, so are [...]
This is a motivational shirt that looks like it escaped a self-help seminar by way of a ransom note, jittery with intent. Spiritually, it feels like getting mugged by a methed up lot lizard while Coast to Coast AM crackles through blown speakers in the background. Aliens, demons, shadow governments are all chiming in to [...]
When Chinese idioms are translated directly into English, they often lose their original nuance or sound oddly poetic in a way that might not fully make sense. They may even take on new meanings. This is especially true when Chinese phrases are used in signs, artwork, or even slogans. For example, a sign might not [...]