“Snack Time, Fucker” Shirt (Electrocuting Corn Cob)

I’m sitting in my office with a half-empty bottle of bourbon, a smoldering cigarette, and a grudge against the one thing that could push me over the edge: corn cobs.

You see, corn cobs are the worst kind of criminals. They look harmless enough, all wrapped up in husks like some kind of rural charm. “Just a little snack,” they say. But don’t let that golden glow fool you. Corn cobs are the scum of the earth.

The corn cobs have pushed me too far, and now they’re gonna feel the heat. I’m talking about the CHAIR. You think you’re all fancy with your golden kernels and buttery sheen, but that’s all about to end.

How it's made

The unisex tshirt blank for adults this tee is based on is a Gildan 64000. Made with ethically grown and harvested ring-spun US cotton, this is a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) in a modern unisex cut. The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether formal or semi-formal.

Shoulders are reinforced with twill tape, there are no side seams for a smoother fit, and the ribbed-knit collar helps prevent curling. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.

Solid colors are 100% cotton, while heathers and sport grey use polyester blends for added durability. Note that due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white. 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC.

Machine wash instructions: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors, do not bleach. Tumble dry: low heat. Iron, steam or dry: low heat. Do not dryclean.

Size guide