When parents drop their kids off, they think they’re leaving them with sunscreen and a name tag. What they don’t realize is that this summer camp is a conversion pipeline. A roaring industrial furnace where fear is melted down and reforged into compliance. You arrive a child. You leave…operational.
The bus doors open and I’m already yelling. I don’t know why I’m yelling. Children spill out clutching stuffed animals, and by nightfall those animals have been reassigned extreme combat duties in the local mountainside.
Meals are tactical. Lunch is not “lunch,” it’s Fuel Intake Phase Bravo. You will not trade your apple slices for cookies because in my camp, we do not negotiate with dessert terrorists. Hydration is brutally enforced. You will drink water until your urine is the color of freedom.
Parents return at the end expecting hugs and stories about crafts. Instead, their children approach them calmly, assess the situation, and report readiness for extraction. They are now my calculating killas, awaiting the Omega Protocol signal.
How it's made
The unisex tshirt blank for adults this tee is based on is a Gildan 64000. Made with ethically grown and harvested ring-spun US cotton, this is a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) in a modern unisex cut. The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether formal or semi-formal.
Shoulders are reinforced with twill tape, there are no side seams for a smoother fit, and the ribbed-knit collar helps prevent curling. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.
Solid colors are 100% cotton, while heathers and sport grey use polyester blends for added durability. Note that due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white. 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC.
Machine wash instructions: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors, do not bleach. Tumble dry: low heat. Iron, steam or dry: low heat. Do not dryclean.
Size guide
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| Weight | N/A |
|---|
