This shirt is for people who believe interstellar diplomacy should involve fewer treaties and more toys. It’s the kind of thing you wear when you’ve fully embraced the idea that Earth is basically an open mic night for sentient weirdos, and you’re just here to get abducted or do the abducting,whichever happens first. It suggests a being who’s bored of first contact procedures, unimpressed by crop circles, and absolutely done pretending that cows are the most interesting thing on this planet.
It hints at a visitor who’s tired of the red tape, the probing quotas, the constant HR memos from Galactic Command reminding everyone to “keep it professional” and “respect planetary boundaries.” This one isn’t filling out forms anymore. This one’s got ideasss. Big ones. Bad ones. The kind that don’t make it into the official logs, and definitely don’t end with a polite memory wipe.
There’s a deliberate confidence to it, like someone who knows exactly how weird this all is and has decided to lean in instead of apologizing. The humor lands somewhere between sci-fi parody and late-night intrusive thought.
Ps.: 13 signs you’ve actually been abducted by aliens, according to UFOlogists.
How it's made
The unisex tshirt blank for adults this tee is based on is a Gildan 64000. Made with ethically grown and harvested ring-spun US cotton, this is a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) in a modern unisex cut. The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether formal or semi-formal.
Shoulders are reinforced with twill tape, there are no side seams for a smoother fit, and the ribbed-knit collar helps prevent curling. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.
Solid colors are 100% cotton, while heathers and sport grey use polyester blends for added durability. Note that due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white. 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC.
Machine wash instructions: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors, do not bleach. Tumble dry: low heat. Iron, steam or dry: low heat. Do not dryclean.
Size guide
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| Weight | N/A |
|---|
