This vintaged ad is a relic of some smoky back office where the blinds are always half-closed, and the whiskey bottle is half-empty. “Dead Girls Tell No Tales” scrawls a half promise, half threat, the kind of phrase muttered between drags of an unfiltered cigarette.
This isn’t a shirt for the hopeful. It’s a souvenir from the grimiest parts of the American Dream, a nod to pulp fiction and neon-lit mistakes. It’s for the ones who know better, who’ve seen the underbelly of things and decided to lean into the joke.
It smells like gunpowder and bad decisions, the kind of humor that keeps you sane when the world doesn’t make sense. You don’t wear something like this because you think it’s funny — you wear it because you know it isn’t, and that’s what makes it hilarious.
It’s a nod to all the private dicks who never got their pension, all the dames who never made it out. Because dead girls..tell no tales.
How it's made
This unisex garment-dyed t-shirt is made with medium fabric (6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)) consisting of 100% ring-spun US cotton for year-round comfort that is sustainable and highly durable. The relaxed fit keeps the wearer comfy in both casual and semi-formal settings while the crew neckline delivers that classic, neat style which makes it perfect for accessorizing. The fabric is pre-shrunk to ensure a consistently great fit.
The cotton for the shirt is ethically grown and harvested, and the US Cotton Trust Protocol has ensured an ethical and sustainable production.
Size guide
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 27.75 | 29.75 |
| Length, in | 26.62 | 28.00 | 29.37 | 30.75 | 31.62 | 32.50 | 33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 16.25 | 17.75 | 19.00 | 20.50 | 21.75 | 23.25 | 24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Comfort Colors® 1717, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean
| Weight | N/A |
|---|
