Every time I look at another man and feel the forbidden urge that’s not supposed to be there naturally, I swear, there’s one of those chemtrails up there in the sky brainwashing me with chemicals and shit. I try to ignore it, but they’re freaking zapping my junk with extra zesty supercompounds cooked up in some kind of big gay Chinese lab!
I’m telling you, it’s not just “normal” clouds anymore. It’s a global homosensual conspiracy. And the worst part? It’s like they want us to notice. They want us to know they can just reach down in our pants and make our dicks twitch in front of sweaty lumberjacks in the back of the gay bar I’m not supposed to go to.
How it's made
The unisex tshirt blank for adults this tee is based on is a Gildan 64000. Made with ethically grown and harvested ring-spun US cotton, this is a lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)) in a modern unisex cut. The classic fit with the crew neckline deliver a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion, whether formal or semi-formal.
Shoulders are reinforced with twill tape, there are no side seams for a smoother fit, and the ribbed-knit collar helps prevent curling. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.
Solid colors are 100% cotton, while heathers and sport grey use polyester blends for added durability. Note that due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white. 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC.
Machine wash instructions: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors, do not bleach. Tumble dry: low heat. Iron, steam or dry: low heat. Do not dryclean.
Size guide
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
| Weight | N/A |
|---|
