when im sad, I like to watch the clouds or the stars or talk to the bugs in the garden
it usually makes me feel better, but lately I've been struggling with existentialism and it's hard to enjoy the small things.
eastern philosophy such has Carl Jung has helped me understand my existence more accurately, but as a result, I feel that I've completely lost my grounding. as in my grounding to my ego. and all this time I've just been attaching myself to what I now know is actually nothing.
it's terrifying. my relationship is struggling because of it, my will to live has completely plummeted, and honestly I don't know how long i can go on like this.
it seems antithetical to the entire point of the philosophy, and i know that I should be appreciating reality for what it is instead of the imposed standards I put on it. but the more I see through the illusions, the more I instinctively want to claw my way back to materials and egoism and such.
Does anyone else have experiences like this? no one I talk to about it seems to understand or agree.
it would be nice to know that I'm not the only one.