when im sad, I like to watch the clouds or the stars or talk to the bugs in the garden
it usually makes me feel better, but lately I've been struggling with existentialism and it's hard to enjoy the small things.
eastern philosophy such has Carl Jung has helped me understand my existence more accurately, but as a result, I feel that I've completely lost my grounding. as in my grounding to my ego. and all this time I've just been attaching myself to what I now know is actually nothing.
it's terrifying. my relationship is struggling because of it, my will to live has completely plummeted, and honestly I don't know how long i can go on like this.
it seems antithetical to the entire point of the philosophy, and i know that I should be appreciating reality for what it is instead of the imposed standards I put on it. but the more I see through the illusions, the more I instinctively want to claw my way back to materials and egoism and such.
Does anyone else have experiences like this? no one I talk to about it seems to understand or agree.
it would be nice to know that I'm not the only one.
Life is but a experience, matter with consciousness. Everything you see one day will not be, not only because your consciousness will not be the same but also because that is the nature of matter, transmutation. Evolution is not only the process of offspring developing traits, it is the process of matter forming itself time and again to experience reality in different ways.
Humans love to live by nature, even when "depressed" it's rare to find someone who doesn't have the instinct of survival in them during critical condition, when the body takes over the mind and the social constructs which bring us down don't exist, when it's pure awareness.
Even when you're drowning and you know you can't make it out your body struggles.
As I said, everything is a dream, death is the only price that comes with the contract of life. Just because death exists doesn't mean you can't enjoy the world, just look at it from the eyes of the child and you'll see the lifeless corpse of what once was. Then you'll have the spirit inside of you, ready to breathe life into the environment.
Gandhi said that if you want to change the world you got to change yourself first.
The man with the armband said something similar
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my fear isn't really rooted in death itself. I know that life could not exist without death. I'm more afraid of living.
I know im not "awake" yet because I still feel the crippling responsibility of life. all the decisions and the impact it has on the people around me.
I hurt the people that I love when I let go of the responsibility, because that responsibility is just transferred to them.
I'm so tired of taking from the world instead of contributing, but I find myself paralyzed when a decision has to be made.
Well, the inaction is as bad as bad actions because they allow the latter to exist.
Think of it like this: what happens when the good people of the world reject wealth because of its nature (sin) but don't offer any alternative?. Those with bad intentions accumulate all the wealth and they become the ones who dictate the rules of the game.
If you really knew this
>I know that life could not exist without death.
Then you'd see the good in the bad, Robin hood.
yeah I think I get what you mean. there's still so much I don't understand. the process of learning has been a bit painful though.
maybe I have to go through the suffering so that I feel "worthy" of the benefits.
>eastern philosophy such as Carl Jung
hang yourself retard
:c why? do you have better recommendations?
Find Christ lad
I've been exactly where you are it just gets worse and worse till you find Christ.
I spent some time as a Christian, but i could never shake the feeling that it's all a rationalization. As humans we have the innate desire to explain the unexplained, and I think Christianity does just that.
but I'm now at the point that I want to know for myself. it's so easy to trust in God. too convenient. I'd choose the path of understanding over the path of blissful ignorance any day.
hahahahahahaha
>vague threat unless you join my cult
>once you join, Everything is Much Better Now™!
life only got better because you were given the most basic directions in life
>um dont murder or like, think gross thoughts
>dont steal stuff or pull your hog too much
There is no waking up. Life sucks and then you die. There's no purpose to any of it. You're not in control, never were. Internalize and embrace that and you will get over mental suffering (aka anxiety) eventually. That's awakening.
listen to yourself. You're retarded. you claim to recognize ego as a falsehood while using the word "I" to describe how "you" feel about this knowledge.
you're another of the countless fools who gains a little insight and clings to it while failing to realize that this is what causes you to suffer. grow the fuck up.
U being mean but actually telling the best advice someone gave to anon about his issue. Life is.. hard. Really fucking hard. Even if you have all the riches, you will still feel empty. Even if you are surrounded by people, you will feel alone. Find something you care about and try to give it meaning and worth. Basically charm yourself into enjoying the awkardness of existence or die trying my friend. Also remeber that the only thing real that is real is chaos an all its possibilities.
then you remember this is the only body you have and this right now is the only thing that matters, because it is only one. Regardless of the meaning of life or transcendent bullshit. Thats it. Simple but hard to grasp, i get it. But trust me, youll be fine. Itll be a lot like waking up from a dream. For me, i remembered that if you have the capacity to despair (life has no inherent meaning, for example), then your new potential is born from it (man is completely free, again, for example). It feels like a long dream. Get into fitness, too, it just keeps you here. Dont abandon this world just yet. Be in this world, just not of it.
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Yeah, about 10 years ago I almost had ego death, but I failed, then my ego went into panic mode and "I" wanted to just go back to being an ego, so for 8 years I tried then gave up. Once you know too much you can never go back into the state of ignorance. The only way is towards death of the personality. Towards God.