Write a paragraph about your life and I will rate your prose.

Write a paragraph about your life and I will rate your prose.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    My father was a drinker...and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not...one...bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife - "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth - "Let's put a smile on that face!" And... why so serious?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Get out of here Arthur.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Get out of here Arthur
        What are you talking about? His name is Joe Kerr, son of Adrian Kerr

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          sibling of nicholaus kerr

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Kys racist incel

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I think he prefers to go by Nick, he likes you to use his surname but he prefers his first name shortened

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      jokerbaby/10

      I shiver when I pee like most men. I wish we could talk to each other about our penises. I wish we didn't have to worry about vulnerability. Women complain how they are made self conscious and how unfair female genitalia standards are baked into language and pornography etc... However there is a universal hand gesture for indicating a man's physical inadequacy that the vegana has no corollary for. Many male behaviors are frequently thought to be nothing more than compensation for one physical inadequacy another. And standards for height in men is so baked into culture, language, and biological predispositions, that I envy the vegana and would happily sop up some blood for a few days once a month or so just so I didn't have to exist under the oppressive shadow that having a penis brings. A shadow whose limits I don't have the words to define, so it appears vast.

      babydick/10

      I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck like a sexy scarf and I scarfed down my mothers rivers of milk so hard it turned velvet because I bit in too hard. I organize my penis into the vegana

      strangledbaby/10

      A paragraph I write to spite the poster who's ghoster of a girlfriend will never give him head. I live in the south in a house made of cheese and mouse I wish dead. Rhyming is hard so here I'll stop this was written by an AI. I am not a cop.

      gaybaby/10

      I waited and waited but the school bus never came. I was three years old and in all the advanced classes. But on that day the bus didn't come. So, I went back inside and thought what to do with the day. I called my friend Spoons and he picked up immediately, which was odd. This was before cellphones. The bus had not picked him up either. I hopped on my skateboard and headed over to his house. After reviewing the Playboys he had stolen from his uncle, we headed out to town on bikes. The first thing we stole was another bike. It was hard to tow, but we managed. The second thing we stole was a collection of candy from the local international drug store. And the third thing we stole was a pack of cigarettes. We headed out to the empty pavement area and began inhaling the cigarettes. We were very competitive with each other, and we both seriously injured ourselves inhaling that pack. We got back on our bikes and headed back to Spoons' place. Once there we broke into his father's liquor cabinet. It wasn't my first time tasting liquor, but it was early enough in my career that I was excitable and nervous. It didn't taste like the liquor I was used too, though. It tasted like water. Turns out his father was drinking quite too much and the liquor cabinet was just for show. His real stash was hidden so it would be impossible to know just how much he was consuming. For the most part he carried it on him, and eventually it got him in some trouble. In fact, that morning he was arrested on his way to work for a DUI. The school had to send a substitute bus driver to pick up the kids and that substitute was over an hour late.

      babydriver/10

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I shiver when I pee like most men. I wish we could talk to each other about our penises. I wish we didn't have to worry about vulnerability. Women complain how they are made self conscious and how unfair female genitalia standards are baked into language and pornography etc... However there is a universal hand gesture for indicating a man's physical inadequacy that the vegana has no corollary for. Many male behaviors are frequently thought to be nothing more than compensation for one physical inadequacy another. And standards for height in men is so baked into culture, language, and biological predispositions, that I envy the vegana and would happily sop up some blood for a few days once a month or so just so I didn't have to exist under the oppressive shadow that having a penis brings. A shadow whose limits I don't have the words to define, so it appears vast.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Do... do men really shiver when they pee?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Only if you're doing it right. Go see the doctor if you don't shiver, anon.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          What about peeing makes you shiver? Do men get cold when they pee? Does all your blood rush to your dingdong and then you're so chilly you just start shivering?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            It's not a continuous shiver like you experience when you're could. It's more like one single powerful jolt of a shiver that exploded outward from deep in your gut and in a split second it's over. At least that's how it is for me. I've never really thought about it, mentioned it or heard anyone else talk about it. It doesn't happen often and it doesn't seem like body temperature or temperature of the room is a factor either, it's seems entirely random.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I know the sensation you're describing. I think it may be produced from the sudden flow/pressure of liquid running past and stimulating the prostate. I'm not an expert by any means but I have peed many times throughout my life.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >etc
      Repugnant. Please consider never writing again.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Good prose. Probably my shit taste though. Love the tangent bit. But yea you're abit too insecure.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I liked it

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck like a sexy scarf and I scarfed down my mothers rivers of milk so hard it turned velvet because I bit in too hard. I organize my penis into the vegana

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I don't understand how the second sentence relates to the first but I laughed. After pondering it the only thing that comes to mind is that you as a baby organized your penis inside your mother's vegana after biting her breasts. Anyways, enjoyed it.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    A paragraph I write to spite the poster who's ghoster of a girlfriend will never give him head. I live in the south in a house made of cheese and mouse I wish dead. Rhyming is hard so here I'll stop this was written by an AI. I am not a cop.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I waited and waited but the school bus never came. I was three years old and in all the advanced classes. But on that day the bus didn't come. So, I went back inside and thought what to do with the day. I called my friend Spoons and he picked up immediately, which was odd. This was before cellphones. The bus had not picked him up either. I hopped on my skateboard and headed over to his house. After reviewing the Playboys he had stolen from his uncle, we headed out to town on bikes. The first thing we stole was another bike. It was hard to tow, but we managed. The second thing we stole was a collection of candy from the local international drug store. And the third thing we stole was a pack of cigarettes. We headed out to the empty pavement area and began inhaling the cigarettes. We were very competitive with each other, and we both seriously injured ourselves inhaling that pack. We got back on our bikes and headed back to Spoons' place. Once there we broke into his father's liquor cabinet. It wasn't my first time tasting liquor, but it was early enough in my career that I was excitable and nervous. It didn't taste like the liquor I was used too, though. It tasted like water. Turns out his father was drinking quite too much and the liquor cabinet was just for show. His real stash was hidden so it would be impossible to know just how much he was consuming. For the most part he carried it on him, and eventually it got him in some trouble. In fact, that morning he was arrested on his way to work for a DUI. The school had to send a substitute bus driver to pick up the kids and that substitute was over an hour late.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I like life. Work hard. Have fun. Love my family. Times are good.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      snorefest

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The doctor snaps down the big switch and seconds pass before bright green waves come crashing against my brain like a huge melting sun, arcs of fire leap into my eyes and burn me and it shrinks my genitals and constructs a path to my naked self hidden deep in the mind, somehow it's flipped me. I begin to change. Something is breaking down the inhibitory controls of my---curving into fetal position no stop surprise---my primate side is alive my side my size and causing me to binge on banana all the time now. it's been three weeks and it's always me and banana. i sniff my finger and he smell like bananas. throw turd like banana, i murder my mate ape for stealing one of my banana. ooga booga why take it my banana? WHY take it MY banana? I get so ANGRY when she do that. uugg. ugg.. UGGGGGG i want banana now. FEED HUNGRY APE BANANA HUNGRY NOW. FEED BANANA APE BANANA HUNGRY NOW NOW NOW!!!! UGGAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH RAAAAHHHHHHHHH

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It’s, over.

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