Why would we choose to be in this reality? A reality that punishes people who aren't lucky. I always tried to believe that you can change things by just trying your best, when i was at my lowest i tried to cope with LOA, meditated and tried to repeat the scenes of being healthy for a long time, it didn't work. I went to get surgery the chronic disease came back. I tried to exercise, strict diet for half a year and it helped a bit(didn't fix my chronic condition completely but helped) But then i only got more random shit like hives(not a big deal but the severe itching sucks). It really feels like almost everything in this world is out of our control so whats the point in it if everything is just luck? Literally the only thing i care about is being healthy but its out of my control. And then theres people who eat junk food, smoke , drink and have no problems. Meanwhile i neved smoked, i never drink i went on a strict diet with no junk food and im punished for it. So whats the point of this life if we can't change our situations? Are the "lessons" that people talk in nde's to kill ourselves after realizing its pointless? It seems like the only thing that we can really control.