why is my sexual attraction to this trans girl sadistic and mean but i've never felt like that for anyone else


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why is my sexual attraction to this trans girl sadistic and mean but i've never felt like that for anyone else

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    have you actually treated her that way before? how did she respond

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      yes I'm mean to her sometimes and it makes my friends unhappy so I try to stop

      Do you think you feel this way towards her because she is trans, or is there another factor?

      I have no idea. I don't hate trans people

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I don't mean to imply that you do hate trans people, I am trying to help you find what factors about her are different than the people you're usually attracted to so that we can try to find out why you feel that way.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          She's just different in general, there isn't anything in particular. Sorry for being vague but I just don't know what it is about her. The only thing that truly stands out is that she's trans I guess? I've never met a mtf besides her, I've only met ftms before

          >>how did she respond
          >it makes my friends unhappy
          how is this HER response??????

          I don't know she is really hard to read

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I don't know she is really hard to read
            okay, well, all i can guess is that maybe you are pushing the boundaries on what she will tolerate, in order to provoke a reaction out of her. like, i saw a youtube video once about someone who lost their sense of taste, but because spicy food is a sensation, rather than a taste, he was still able to enjoy spicy food. so he would construct his diet exclusively around texture and sustenance, while adding spice to taste:

            maybe it is like that, where you are merely using it as a means to reach the end of emotional feedback

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              makes sense, but then what does that say about me

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                i would say it means you care, but, you know. kind of hard to say that when your means is evoking pain

                maybe you can find other ways to reach emotional feedback yet. or, maybe your sadism can be controlled, so it's just light teasing, instead of like "this is why no one likes you" and fucked up shit like that. some people are into spanking, but, they know better than to leave bruises that turn purple, or use thin tools that leave deep marks, etc. you can be a sadist without it being entirely unreasonable for her to lean into it

                note that i am completely in the dark on sadist/masochist dynamics, so take all this with a grain of salt

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                right now I don't really bring it out much, I just want it and imagine it. i'm trying to keep a lid on it so that she and the rest of my friends don't think i'm a huge asshole

                Hmm, well vague information isn't terribly useful. Let's try a different angle then.

                How do you feel when you act sadistic toward her? What itch does it scratch? Do you only feel this way in her physical presence, or do you want to act this way over messages?

                It makes me excited. it's like it's own kind of lust, I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on. it's easier to do it online because I feel less afraid, but when I fantasize about it i imagine it in person of course

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I just want to see her react to it and that turns me on.
                there is this sadist story i once saw, i don't remember if it was a LULZ screencap or not. basically, it involves this older guy getting a girl who signed her life away to him, who on her own said her ultimate fetish was being put in a concrete box and having it be filled with cement, while she was still alive

                there was a lot of stuff in between, with her apparently getting really fake breast implants, lip implants or something, fetishy surgeries like that, and being put on display at a party the guy was having

                in the end, she was buried with her arms in a "reverse prayer" position, and had tubed fed down her nostrils so she could breathe, and a tube fed down her throat so she could eat. before this, she tried to beg to not have him go through with the cement burial. but, he didn't listen

                he and his maids kept her alive for a few months, but stopped even seeing her as a real person after a while, and often forgot to feed her for days at a time. eventually they pumped the tubes full of cement

                i say all this to say, this sadism is completely removed from feedback; the literal only context feedback that was ever given that i can remember was the girl begging to not be subject to the live burial at the very end. i feel this is an important distinction. when your sadism cannot exist without feedback, your method is exclusively a means to the end of receiving feedback. when the intrinsic act is what feeds your sadism, you don't need a receptive partner for it. i guess my ultimate ultimate point is, you may have just found your perfect partner for what you never realized you wanted

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                you don't actually believe that story... right?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                no. without considering anything else, the maid/ party thing completely broke your suspension of disbelief. and the surgeries were just retarded. they involved removing her ribs for some reason, as well

                the sadism itself is whatever. obviously you can't sign your rights away and have the dom be absolved of all responsibility; i've read the wikipedia page of a man who kept a listing up on craigslist for months of wanting to eat someone, and when a man finally responded, and he did exactly that with him consensually, he was sent to prison, anyway. it was just gross wish fulfillment. i really do not know why the sexual surgeries were even necessary

                i read another one screencap sadist story about a man turning unwanted ophans into quad amputee deaf and blind living dildos without teeth. but that was largely just a display of writing torture than anything devoid of emotional feedback

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Ignoring all the other stuff, rib removal surgery real. It is done on the lowest 2-3 pairs of ribs which aren't attached to the sternum and are less structurally necessary. It allows for thr creation of a tighter waistline for people with bulky ribcages

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                not that anyone cares, but i found the two stories i referenced by googling "cement burial reverse prayer story" and "orphan blind deaf amputate sex story":
                https://grometsplaza.net/world/buried/storiesad/the_box.html
                https://www.wattpad.com/368591834-compilation-of-horror-stories-5-e-boita-slave-dolls

                the rib thing was only a single line saying "A surgeon had removed her two lower ribs to enable her current size." so, guess he was aware of what you say

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Lol I appreciate ur effort but I'll decline reading them; I'd already heard about the latter story too and there's something about that kind of grotesquerie that really sticks in my brain and which I shouldn't indulge. Thanks anyway tho lol

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Nevermind I couldn't resist the temptation

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                you wanna get to know her better even if it means getting a ride out of her I guess?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                rise*

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Hmm, well vague information isn't terribly useful. Let's try a different angle then.

            How do you feel when you act sadistic toward her? What itch does it scratch? Do you only feel this way in her physical presence, or do you want to act this way over messages?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >>how did she respond
        >it makes my friends unhappy
        how is this HER response??????

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do you think you feel this way towards her because she is trans, or is there another factor?

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    trans women are born to be the worlds punching bag

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      hot

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        its tragic

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I think you're AGAMP and jealous and expressing it in a mentally ill female way

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What is agamp?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Autogynandromorphophilic, basically being turned on at the thought of being a dickgirl

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    What do you do to her that's mean

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i just say mean things, put her down, usually in a soft jokey way but i really push it. i have been better about it but i just constantly want to talk shit to her and push her buttons. i wish i could do more though. but also i don't really wish to because i know it's mean and part of me doesn't want to be mean or make her upset but then another part of me wants to bully the fuck out of her and completely enjoys it. there's some kind of duality going on

      Autogynandromorphophilic, basically being turned on at the thought of being a dickgirl

      i mean i have that too but i don't think that is what this is

      it's not sadistic and mean, is that trans women are women, which means they're insufferable in all the feminine ways.

      fickle, indecisive, paranoid about whatever, and moody. you're talking to a female. there's no "right" way to talk to them, but if you ask how, they'll immediately kneejerk as if you did something wrong

      anon i'm female

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >i don't think that is what this is
        It is, it's why she's the one who triggers you into being an asshole

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          i don't understand the logic. why would wanting to be a trans girl make me act mean towards a trans girl i'm attracted to?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            There's no logic to it, it's an irrational reaction a specific type of mental ill woman makes, I've seen examples countless times. It's how I clocked you as agamp without you expressing anything specifically agamp besides being mean to a trans girl

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              then what kind of mentally ill woman am i

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >i'm female

        so you know i'm right

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's not sadistic and mean, is that trans women are women, which means they're insufferable in all the feminine ways.

    fickle, indecisive, paranoid about whatever, and moody. you're talking to a female. there's no "right" way to talk to them, but if you ask how, they'll immediately kneejerk as if you did something wrong

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    idk. maybe something happened in your life that enabled you to better accept that side of you? or maybe you just feel superior to her? i don't know, i think the short answer here is that you're just sadistic and this specific person triggers your sadism for unknown reasons. thats just how attraction works.

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