The ring being unable to be worn as a cock ring is literally noncanonical, if you knew anything about Tolkein's legendarium and weren't just a poser, you would know that cockring tactics is a bigger plothole than the eagles.
>poser
You CLEARLY haven't read Tolkien's works thoroughly, nor have you read the transcript where he elaborates on the limits of the rings. I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time. If any of you actually just read the books and listened to what tolkien had to say about them you wouldn't even be on this board stirring the shit again.
1 week ago
Anonymous
>I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time.
>the evil forces of Sauron are stirring in the east and the north, threatening all that is good >I better go visit my trusted ally, Sauron-man, for help
>the evil forces of Sauron are stirring in the east and the north, threatening all that is good >I better go visit my trusted ally, Sauron-man, for help
I know he's a linguist and to him the difference between Sauron and Saruman were clear as night-and-day, but it's still very funny that he never expected laypeople to find them similar to an almost confusing degree.
Serious question: did Aragorn make the right choice in going for Elfussy? He could have had Eowyns prime viking vag. What choice would (YOU) have made?
Aragorn is 80 but still has a very long time to live. It's fair to pick the eternally young elf puss over a girl that will hit the wall in the equivalent of 1/50th of his life.
You know Eowyn was STANKIN. Probably the biggest dirtiest bush in Rohan.
>cant handle crack sweat
Virgin
He was already vowed to Arwen while Eowyn was in the crib. Aragorn is a pinnacle of European civilizational ideas, which would mean cheating on (essentially) his betrothed does not befit him.
Hot guys cheat, uggos cope. Simple as.
Gee i dont know anon. Will i rqin faithfull to my bethroted eternally young elfen wife. Or the human human roastie that lost her hymen in a "horse riding accident"
Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?
>Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?
She's going to the Undying Lands unless he puts a ring on it you illiterate alzheimers fucker.
Also why would she accept used goods?
>why would she accept used goods?
You really dont know anything at all about women do you? They dig a man with a high bodycount >t. High volume fucker since age 15
That's actually a really good question because of how elven sexuality works. If it's the same as elf-on-elf sex then he made a huge mistake, they'll fuck for a month, she'll conceive then turn asexual and Eowyn is a better choice.
If, on the other hand, he gets her addicted to BHC and overcomes her limitations(or if they disappear once she goes human the first time like immortality), then she's the better one obviy. Though she would hit the wall at some point surely, since she'd become mortal and all.
Now THATS an answer. Elf sexuality is incompatible with human male urges
He was already vowed to Arwen while Eowyn was in the crib. Aragorn is a pinnacle of European civilizational ideas, which would mean cheating on (essentially) his betrothed does not befit him.
Gee i dont know anon. Will i rqin faithfull to my bethroted eternally young elfen wife. Or the human human roastie that lost her hymen in a "horse riding accident"
>As told in "The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen", in his twentieth year Aragorn met Arwen for the first time in Rivendell, where he lived under Elrond's protection. Arwen, then over 2,700 years old, had recently returned to her father's home after living with her grandmother, Galadriel, in Lothlórien. >Arwen, then over 2,700 years old >She's a virgin
It might come as a surprise to you troon but most w*meme arent cock addicted whores.
1 week ago
Anonymous
See [...]
>NOOOOO NOT MY HECKIN WAIFURINO SHE TOTALLY NEVER HAD SEX IN HER 3000 YEARS AS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH NO FATHER FIGURE AROUND IN A FUNKY FOREST FULL OF SPRY ELVEN BUCKS
The absolute fucking state of you. Imagine tasting 500 cocks every time you kiss your "purest girl", imagine trying to fill a hole that spent centuries riding Bad Fellbeast dildos, imagine actually thinking she's into your pasty flabby Engwar physique and isn't dreaming about the Big Orcish Cock she was built for all the time.
1 week ago
Anonymous
When will you accept that elves are not:
a) human
b)Amer*can
1 week ago
Anonymous
>richest >no understanding for lesser life forms >proud >beautiful >everyone wishes they were them >ignoring the rest of the world most of the time
Elves are a lot like Americans to be honest
1 week ago
Anonymous
>beautiful >a lot like Americans
1 week ago
Anonymous
>beautiful
1 week ago
Anonymous
something something corruption something something evil something something Mutt's Law
That's actually a really good question because of how elven sexuality works. If it's the same as elf-on-elf sex then he made a huge mistake, they'll fuck for a month, she'll conceive then turn asexual and Eowyn is a better choice.
If, on the other hand, he gets her addicted to BHC and overcomes her limitations(or if they disappear once she goes human the first time like immortality), then she's the better one obviy. Though she would hit the wall at some point surely, since she'd become mortal and all.
There was a 4th wizard, Caveman, who was initially gonna dig through the floor to Mordor and provide the necessary magics and scaffolding to let the Fellowship through, where they'd meet a big fiery demon at the end. But that got turned into Moria.
Why dint Frodo wear the one ring on his cock. That way the orcs and ringwraiths couldnt take it off him without being homos.
ring too big.
The ring changes to the size of the wearer's fingers. Surely it could do the penis?
The ring changes size. It would easily fit round a hobbits peepee
the ring's diameter cannot be reduced insofar that frodo could wear it around his dick
Actually Hobbits have canonically giant cocks there even was this hobbit named three leg or something BHC is real
The ring being unable to be worn as a cock ring is literally noncanonical, if you knew anything about Tolkein's legendarium and weren't just a poser, you would know that cockring tactics is a bigger plothole than the eagles.
>poser
You CLEARLY haven't read Tolkien's works thoroughly, nor have you read the transcript where he elaborates on the limits of the rings. I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time. If any of you actually just read the books and listened to what tolkien had to say about them you wouldn't even be on this board stirring the shit again.
>I do not intend to debate the frodo cock ring 'plothole' a third time.
>hobbits peepee
It is a known fact that hobbits are hung like horses
>like, why wasn’t there a subway installed?
Oh, good job adding to the meme.
Cause Sauron’s underground brother, Soilron would catch them
Holy fuck my sides
>the evil forces of Sauron are stirring in the east and the north, threatening all that is good
>I better go visit my trusted ally, Sauron-man, for help
I know he's a linguist and to him the difference between Sauron and Saruman were clear as night-and-day, but it's still very funny that he never expected laypeople to find them similar to an almost confusing degree.
Serious answer: That would’ve taken way too long.
No digging permits
Serious question: did Aragorn make the right choice in going for Elfussy? He could have had Eowyns prime viking vag. What choice would (YOU) have made?
Aragorn is 80 but still has a very long time to live. It's fair to pick the eternally young elf puss over a girl that will hit the wall in the equivalent of 1/50th of his life.
Only valid point
>cant handle crack sweat
Virgin
Hot guys cheat, uggos cope. Simple as.
Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?
>Why not plow eowyn and plow arwen once eowyn dies?
She's going to the Undying Lands unless he puts a ring on it you illiterate alzheimers fucker.
Also why would she accept used goods?
>why would she accept used goods?
You really dont know anything at all about women do you? They dig a man with a high bodycount
>t. High volume fucker since age 15
Now THATS an answer. Elf sexuality is incompatible with human male urges
You know Eowyn was STANKIN. Probably the biggest dirtiest bush in Rohan.
He was already vowed to Arwen while Eowyn was in the crib. Aragorn is a pinnacle of European civilizational ideas, which would mean cheating on (essentially) his betrothed does not befit him.
Gee i dont know anon. Will i rqin faithfull to my bethroted eternally young elfen wife. Or the human human roastie that lost her hymen in a "horse riding accident"
>I heckin LOVE licking 3000 years of elven cum out of my "eternally young" sloppy seconds waifu
She's a virgin, don't compare Elven sexual stanards to that of 21st century Am*ricums.
>As told in "The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen", in his twentieth year Aragorn met Arwen for the first time in Rivendell, where he lived under Elrond's protection. Arwen, then over 2,700 years old, had recently returned to her father's home after living with her grandmother, Galadriel, in Lothlórien.
>Arwen, then over 2,700 years old
>She's a virgin
It might come as a surprise to you troon but most w*meme arent cock addicted whores.
>NOOOOO NOT MY HECKIN WAIFURINO SHE TOTALLY NEVER HAD SEX IN HER 3000 YEARS AS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH NO FATHER FIGURE AROUND IN A FUNKY FOREST FULL OF SPRY ELVEN BUCKS
The absolute fucking state of you. Imagine tasting 500 cocks every time you kiss your "purest girl", imagine trying to fill a hole that spent centuries riding Bad Fellbeast dildos, imagine actually thinking she's into your pasty flabby Engwar physique and isn't dreaming about the Big Orcish Cock she was built for all the time.
When will you accept that elves are not:
a) human
b)Amer*can
>richest
>no understanding for lesser life forms
>proud
>beautiful
>everyone wishes they were them
>ignoring the rest of the world most of the time
Elves are a lot like Americans to be honest
>beautiful
>a lot like Americans
>beautiful
something something corruption something something evil something something Mutt's Law
Captcha: DARN 8X
See
That's actually a really good question because of how elven sexuality works. If it's the same as elf-on-elf sex then he made a huge mistake, they'll fuck for a month, she'll conceive then turn asexual and Eowyn is a better choice.
If, on the other hand, he gets her addicted to BHC and overcomes her limitations(or if they disappear once she goes human the first time like immortality), then she's the better one obviy. Though she would hit the wall at some point surely, since she'd become mortal and all.
There was a 4th wizard, Caveman, who was initially gonna dig through the floor to Mordor and provide the necessary magics and scaffolding to let the Fellowship through, where they'd meet a big fiery demon at the end. But that got turned into Moria.
Nobody reads Tolkein's letters, so nobody knows about Caveman and the plotholes his exclusion caused.
Why didnt Sam just stuck the orcs in a stew?
He's a stupid hobbit. A fat, stupid, hobbits.