>walk around town so I can be around people to cope with my loneliness
>couples everywhere holding hands
I just can't fucking take it anymore. Is my inability to attract a mate some sort of disability at this point?
I'm seriously starting to think that there is an evil force hell-bent on trying to get me to kill myself
>inb4 hurr durr ur ugly
I don't have problems physically attracting women but I just don't know how to push things further. I really just want to stop being such a lonely piece of shit loser.
I had jobs, I go to college, I go to the gym, i'm not a slob.
WHY CAN'T I FUCKING GET A GF???
Should I go back to dating apps? I did pretty decently with just one single autistic close-up selfie of my face so maybe I have some potential if I get good pics?
Just approach people I guess, idk cause I never tried that tbh, but people say that's what you gotta do. Talk to people and don't be scared of asking people out, also don't scare people
I get approached somewhat frequently. It just doesn't work for me. I'm not sure i'll get anywhere approaching if I don't get anywhere with girls who approach me.
No, it's because you're around town
No one meets anyone just walking around
people specifically can only ever form relationships in schools or by meeting through mutual friends, by talking and having conversations with one another
no woman will ever be able to walk up to you walking around and start a relationship and they cant handle being walked up to this way either, you need to have a place where you can have a long conversation, best if regularly and then break through their barrier of autism to form a relationship with them
This literelly cannot possibly ever work. No one can ever speak to strangers who just walked up to them, there's nothing to talk about. Asking out is what you do once you already know someone and you already got to know each other, not at the fucking start. You cannot ask some stranger out without scaring them because people fundamentally do not interact this way.
No one does this shit, the only people who write this shit are retarded indians on reddit and quora.
kill yourself school nagger subhuman and get off my thread.
>This literelly cannot possibly ever work. No one can ever speak to strangers who just walked up to them, there's nothing to talk about
My father literally met like this with my mother and his later gfs
Nta. I guess it depends on the setting too. If you're at a concert, sure why not, sitting down in a park, go for it. If you're in a grocery store, eh, on the street walking, eh. You can only pull that shit off if you're charismatic, which OP clearly isn't.
he's lying to you. ask him what would he talk about after walking up to a stranger, he won't be able to respond. He's never done it as it cannot happen
My mother said it too
it's the school tranny. Just ignore it.
>WHY CAN'T I FUCKING GET A GF???
What have you done to get a gf then?
You can't be surprised that nothing you've done has worked if you ...you know...haven't actually done anything.
I go to bars with friends and sometimes talk to women there.
Went out with a girl a few times but she was pretty mentally ill and went back to her abusive ex.
She literally said I "don't have rizz" lol.
Well rizz is just zoomer for "game" right?
Well there you go OP. You have to actually flirt and have fun with these girls you're talking to. By actually talking to women (or even just leaving the house) you're already leagues above most of the homosexuals on this board at least. But you can't be such a stiff either.
It's just who I am though. It's difficult for me to larp as some confident player when i'm just a lonely guy desperate to be loved.
Yeah, i'm pretty quiet and I stutter sometimes. It's not exactly a crime though, right?
Anyway, it's summer now so I don't go out as often to meet people.
I think my only option now is retrying Tinder.
>It's difficult for me to larp as some confident player when i'm just a lonely guy desperate to be loved.
Anon there's a huge middle ground that lies between "player" and "desperate". And it's called being normal.
Quiet is not a crime, no. But being outwardly desperate is. You gotta play it cool or you'll drive these women away. Even if you ARE desperate, you're going to want to start re-wiring your brain so you stop thinking this way. You don't want to think like that to begin with, and you definitely don't want to think it AND show it.
I definitely don't come off as desperate. if anything I probably give the idea that i'm asexual or gay.
On my last date, the girl I was with was clearly much more into it than me. She brought up kissing and sex etc (we never had sex because the hotel was booked out apparently).
The time before that I was talking with a girl I asked her if she wants to kiss which I understand is autistic now and she lost interest after.
I can't find a middle ground.
Rizz comes from charisma (cha"rizz"ma). You just gotta work on your personality/the way you talk, I guess. Be daring and assertive. You also gotta find girls with whom you click. Some girls just won't like your personality while other would, that's life. Just act decent and don't sperg. Just don't act boring, please
>Just don't act boring, please
How do I do this? Anything I should read/ watch?
Also, me again for a very important distinction I need to make clear. Not being boring doesn't necessarly mean having some extraordinary lifestyle and a lot of cool stories to tell, it means making the discussion interactive (interaction duh.) So if you tell her about yourself for hours without asking her about herself, it won't work no matter how interesting what you say is. If they wanted to just listen someone talk, they would attend a college lecture or watch youtube.
See what I'm saying. I had to cut off some friends because they had the bad habit of just talking for hours without ever making me interact in any way. It felt like talking to a pre-recorded video, or reading a book. You don't have to be very knowledgeable although having stuff to talk about is always good, no matter how autistic. I go full autism talking about history and hearts of iron but girls don't mind because I keep it entertaining. It's even worse now with zoomers because they have a lower attention span and can't focus on long rants or stories without some interaction.
>Also, me again for a very important distinction I need to make clear. Not being boring doesn't necessarly mean having some extraordinary lifestyle and a lot of cool stories to tell, it means making the discussion interactive (interaction duh.) So if you tell her about yourself for hours without asking her about herself, it won't work no matter how interesting what you say is. If they wanted to just listen someone talk, they would attend a college lecture or watch youtube.
well that's good because i'm definitely not a super interesting person. Half the time I just think about how great it would be if I grew the balls to finally off myself.
I guess I am a good listener though, if that's even a thing.
Most of my conversations are just me listening to people talk because I rarely have anything of my own to discuss.
>Most of my conversations are just me listening to people talk because I rarely have anything of my own to discuss.
That's better than just ranting all day but you should still strive to tell some about yourself, like the what special thing that happened to you that week or whatever. Even basic stuff like >I went to the gym today. can make great "boosts" for carrying the discussion and relationship further. For example, after that, it gives them the occasion on telling about what they do at the gym too, or asking to train together some day, etc. They can't talk much about if they don't know what you enjoy. I took the gym as an example because that's my thing but that can also be video games, hiking, science, literature and other random hobbies. Every time I got on a date with a girl, it started with me telling what my interests and them proposing to do it together, so talking a bit is also important, otherwise they have no opportunity to push things further. You can also ask questions about what their hobbies and ask to go try it together
Thanks, anon. Will take your advice. But sadly other than the gym there probably isn't anything else I can talk about that they could relate with. I code because it's part of my degree, I read history books sometimes and that's about it. Thinking of picking up the guitar.
What music can I say I listen to, to sound interesting? Obviously I would actually listen to it first.
>What music can I say I listen to, to sound interesting?
this is actually a good question
Know a lot of genre, and say what she wants to hear. Usually you won't even go into details you just have to go like "yeah they are pretty cool and surprisingly deep and complex etc etc"
>Just don't act boring, please
not your personal jester
I'm not telling you to make constant jokes and to carry the discussion all by yourself. We know people enjoy talking about themselves and being listened to. They also enjoy listening to people but there is some balance to be made. You know when people don't talk and just text dry messages in replies and you have to carry the whole discussion? That's too much talking and people don't like the pressure, and feel like the other one doesn't care. And you know how some people keep talking on and on without stopping? You can see it when guys joke about girls talking too much. That's too much listening being asked from the other person. If a girl is interested, you don't have to be particularly interesting, just don't drain people's energy when talking. I geniunly felt dread when seeing some people messaging me because they had the issues I just told you about.
There are a few things you gotta do to not be "boring"
>talk but not too much, no long rant
>jokes (not obligatory but normalfags are easier to make laugh than you would expect)
>listen and react to the replies, don't just ignore what they tell you
I fucking hate you people cope with shit like personality and fun and all. These are just buzzwords meaning nothing but can be used as some wild card to cope with some people just being miserable and you don't want to accept it because it would mean you are just simply lucky to be not.
Cope and seethe, you homosexual.
And also I forgot to add, a girl who goes back to an abusive ex is not a girl you'd want anything to do with. Trust me.
There are worst things than having no gf. Like having a bad gf.
She was an emo gamer girl with ADHD. And that's exactly my "type" since I have absolutely nothing in common with normie women.
So i'm definitely upset about it. But yeah, it probably would've ended up worse if I did stay with her longer. We only went on 2 dates and she said she loved me and couldn't stop complimenting me which is why it hurts so much. It felt amazing for the short period that it lasted.
>We only went on 2 dates and she said she loved me and couldn't stop complimenting me which is why it hurts so much. It felt amazing for the short period that it lasted.
She sounds like a trainwreck. No one loves someone after 2 dates.
I know it must've been nice to hear, especially if you're not used to it, but trust me she either didn't mean it or had no idea what she was saying. There was 0.0 chance of that having a good ending.
You're not the first guy to get sucked in by some wacked out girl with issues and you definitely won't be the last. It's almost a rite of passage. But hopefully you've learned a thing or two from it.
well my friends told me she was eyeing me for months and eventually approached me. I'm probably not the first guy she did that with but obviously she felt something. I can't believe i'm such a pussy drier that she went off with someone else after.
Maybe it's because we didn't end up fucking. She told me she spent the entire week thinking about me and masturbating.
The long but sure path forward is to quit trying for a while. Refocus on everything else, on building the life you want to have.
>be lonely and hapless with girls
>did something crazy, started new life as a commercial fisherman
>work hard, drink, make friends
>buy my own boat and start a business
>hot bartender at my local asks if I can take her and her friends to see whales on my boat
>bartender's friend is a hot nurse, wants to drive my boat
>talked the whole time.
>she stays behind when finished
>fucks me in my smelly bunk on my rusty old boat
>mfw I married my only ONS ever and 15 years later we have 3 kids
Build the life you want OP. Women will gravitate to men who live fulfilling lives.
That's interesting as fuck bro.
>walk around town so I can be around people to cope with my loneliness
>WHY CAN'T I FUCKING GET A GF???
Because you don't get a girlfriend by walking. You either start dating someone in your social circles or through an app or agency. If you have no social circles it's the latter.
>You either start dating someone in your social circles or at school
yeah I wasn't walking around to find a gf. It was either that or staying at home. I'd rather be outside.
I have a social circle and I had one failed date through it with a girl who asked me out.
There may be other things lined up but not for now.
I guess in the short-term i'll need to use apps after I get good pics on my upcoming holiday.
>after I get good pics on my upcoming holiday.
start cutting right now buddy boyo
I am. Been starving myself lately. I don't mean shirtless pics. Just need a lean face.
Ok anon, so if a girl comes up to you in a club and says 'hi there' what would you respond?
I've had girls come up to me and tell me i'm hot or beautiful and my response is usually something like "t-thanks, you too". Now i'm not as autistic and I can give a good opener sometimes but the convo always dries up.
Yeah, I mean you might want to do better than that. If a girl randomly approaches you and doesn't ask you for directions she's obviously interested. So what you should be doing is two things, being flirtatious and making sure your conversational partner has something to go on.
For example 'hi beautiful, are you here alone?' Is a great response because A. you're complementing her and B. you're making sure she has something to respond to.
If the convo dries up it's because you're not aiding your conversional partner enough.
Once you've established a basis you need to throw a third thing in the mix and that's showing you care, someone has been sick, ask them if they're improving, was anxious about a big day at school/work, ask them how it went. Also be proactive, send them support in advance, 'hope you have a great day today'.
So in the beginning:
- deliberately keeping the conversation open
After a while:
- add caring remarks
How do you think you currently do on those three points?
>keeping convo going
I just don't have good social skills. I was alone or with few friends and anxious my whole life
Ok, so I guess you need to practice. You can't exactly practice flirting on everyone. I mean you could try it on some strangers on an image board, but your friends might think it's weird. But keeping a conversation open is something you can practice easily. When you're talking to a friend or familymember try talking to them while thinking, great I'm going to practice now. And be aware of yor input in the conversation. Try to deliberately keep it open.
Not OP but I literally have no idea how to even begin flirting.
I'm not too bad at keeping conversation going and I'd say I'm decent at the caring remarks (though my ex would always call me a femboy when I tried being nice to her) but holy shit I literally could not flirt to save my life.
I'm just stuck in customer service mode talking to girls until I know them well enough to consider them friends.
Just try complimenting a girl once. You'll survive.
It just always feels so forced and awkward to give any compliments, to anyone really, I dunno what's like normal to comment on.
No one ever compliments me on anything, I don't have a template to go off of.
Normal among female friends:
'Omg I love your dress'
'Oh wow that haircut really suits you'
Normal as a male hitting on a female:
'Damn you look good'
'I love your eyes'
Note 1: if it's too hard, try practicing the friendly version first and the flirty one second. Or practice the flirty one through an app.
Note 2: practice on someone who is more or less in your league.
All I know about you is this post I read, and I already know youre a bitter resentful jealous and emotionally unstable person. This is very unnattractive, and, doesnt even require text, people, not just women, can practically smell that on you.
Even I feel if I were to exchange emails with you here or something and we became friends it would be a one sided friendship where you complain a lot and shit on everything and play woe is me, which would be emotionally and mentally burdensome on me.
I dont even have to be right about you. This is the impression you have given me, and how I will see you forever. Think very, very, very hard about this.
people can't smell no shit, if they could politics wouldn't be about demagogy
ignorance is bliss. Every gf I had wasn't through some social game but we happened to be attracted to each other and that's all
>Totally unnecessary political reference
Dude you need to unhook from the internet for like a week or two, good God what a sidestep
I just used that reference because that is the most obvious one
The most obvious reference to make to dispute the fact "people can generally read others emotions"?
people are clueless in general, they just believe that they are soooo much conscious and know shit
Anon if you cant intuit others emotions its a huge clue of a disorder called "autism spectrum disorder". It is neither weird, nor a reach to claim if youre a bitter person youre gonna look pissy and others can kinda tell when youre being a bit hostile. Youre being outrageously stupid right now. Be wrong. Try it. You learn more.
>Youre being outrageously stupid right now
I could have wrote in a total different manner and you would guess much, so again, you have no idea about what a person I am.
And I'm a pretty good liar irl too, and it is obvious people can't tell what I think and what a person I am actually (literally got a job for which I'm not the least qualifiedbecause quickly looked up some shit from chatgpt and pretended I know what I'm talking about)
>And I'm a pretty good liar irl too
Yeah that's something you'll have too work on too besides flirting and keeping conversations going. Stop lying.
Start lying, honestly the most useful skill in life OP. Some people have the "privilege" (genetically gifted ones) to be themselves but most don't. Wasted years on not realizing it sooner.
Anon I've met two chronic liers in my life, neither was happy and talking to them was tiresome. Just don't.
who tf is even happy, also if you are a bad liar then just be honest yeah, but if you are good in it go for it but be careful and consistent
>but if you are good
How can you even be a good liar? If your stories are too grandiose people will notice, if they're inconsistent people will notice too. Add to it that the most meaningful form of interaction is a deep connection and I seriously don't see how lying could benefit you at all.
Unless you want to lie about something as trivial as the color of your socks, or your hand in poker I can't see lying work.
>If your stories are too grandiose people will notice, if they're inconsistent people will notice too
Yeah that is what bad liars do. You have to find the golden mean and build up lies. Also don't just state facts but build them in stories and have a whole frame for it.
>I can't see lying work.
because you are naive
>because you are naive
Well educate me. Give me an example of a good and productive lie you've told that is not on par with the general white lying that everyone does.
professional experience for example. I ranted about some embedded system project I worked with while I have never did that but made it up. (Even lied to a girl about my "superb career" and she believed every shit)
Or just learn from politicians
Well everyone lies during a job interview. That's pretty normal. Did you blow something up, discussed a project that belonged to someone else or just fully invent it?
>Even lied to a girl about my "superb career"
You had no interest in long term I presume?
>You had no interest in long term I presume?
I had, but first you have to get her attention
>Did you blow something up, discussed a project that belonged to someone else or just fully invent it?
Well it was half made up, other guys were actually working on something similar. But I had nothing to do with that.
>I had, but first you have to get her attention
I can't see that working long term lol, faking a career.
>other guys were actually working on something similar
Ok I must say I don't easily steal experiences, just ever so light modify mine. Got the job I wanted just fine, so I'm still not convinced.
But I guess it's possible those 2 chronic liars I've encountered just had shitty game and I've missed an actually good liar who did properly benefit from it. I'd be surprised though.
>I can't see that working long term lol, faking a career.
Women stay with abusive men too because "at first they seemed nice", so they tend to stay with them even when the truth reveals
>But I guess it's possible those 2 chronic liars I've encountered just had shitty game and I've missed an actually good liar who did properly benefit from it. I'd be surprised though.
If someone is a good liar, you don't recognize he is a liar man. So you can't know whenever you meet one
There's a difference between having someone stay and having a good relationship though. I mean if you tie them down they 'stay' too.
>There's a difference between having someone stay and having a good relationship though.
Like I care
You should since it's mutually beneficial.
I tried to "be myself and honest" it didn't work, this seems to work so I stay with this.
Also mutual benefits can come from not good relationships too
They can, but not consistently and they're intermixed with a lot of negative shit.
>this seems to work so I stay with this.
You do what you have to do. I'm in no position to try and correct you really. I'm single as can be.
>I'm single as can be.
Lol then shut the fuck up, why do you even give advice
I'v had relationships. And imo they thought me a lot.
"Fake it 'till you make it" is the slogan of our era tbh
I don't complain at all irl. Obviously it's different on the advice section of an anime forum.
The only thing people think about me irl is "you need to be more outgoing" and "you are way too quiet".
Read between the lines anon, thats exactly my point. I used to be "too quiet". Pro tip, people interpret "too quiet" as "hostile".
I act like a complete cuck irl. Recently someone brought up that I stutter. Absolutely nobody thinks i'm hostile lmao
>Pro tip, people interpret "too quiet" as "hostile".
No they don't, you are just invisible or seem weak
As an omega-level empath with high emotional intelligence, I can intuit that you're a homosexual that overthinks everything and always has to be the smartest guy in the room when you're really just a midwit.
Honestly these are on the dot. We can more often than not infer how people are feeling with just a glance, not from their aura or whatever, but from their body language. OP does radiate insecurity just from his post alone.
the rothchilds are paying women to not date you
I have a friends, job, car, motorcycle, home, but don't know how to talk to females. Everyone wonders why I don't have a wife let alone a gf.
I can't even take a hint. Sometimes in hindsight I realize something a girl said or something I could've said.
Why can't I just hit them upside the head with a club and drag them back to my cave like in the olden days?
I feel you buddy. It is so strange... How the fuck does it seem like everyone else is coupled up? What is it that women see in these men that made them fall in love? Its really like fellas like us are in the twilight
just be confident bro :DD:D:D:DD
don't forget to shower, get a haircut, and give her a firm handshake
Yeah, it's so fucked. Most of these guys look completely normal. Definitely not the incel definition of Chad.
I don't know if I believe that statistic that 60% of men are sexless. It really doesn't seem like it.
>Definitely not the incel definition of Chad.
Lol nobody dates chad, most couples seems to look relatively similar to one another. Short nerdy guy with short nerdy girl. Long haired hippie dude with free spirited gal. Blondie with other blondie. Rocker guy with rocker chick. You can't just aim to be chad and attract everyone, it doesn't work that way.
If chad let his hair grow or will wear a metal band tshirt then he will attract those chicks though
Sure and he'll stop attracting everyone else, plus he will only attract a female in that genre that is of reasonable equal attractiveness.
Pretty much. Most couples are looksmatched. I'd be more than happy with an average looking girlfriend.
Go for career, be assertive mate
The 60% stat is incel bullshit. It was from 2018 and it was only sexless in the past year. The most recent stats have women actually higher in sexlessness than men kek. People just don't want to fuck it seems.
>People just don't want to fuck it seems.
Yeah I seriously doubt that.
Can confirm people really do not want to fuck. People would much rather exchange insta and snap and share their story with you than have you in it. Shit's cra.
>attract a mate
This is female terminology.
Women are passive and rely on attracting attention.
Men go and find a mate.
I want to try alcohol but wouldn’t be able to drink before the event I’m thinking of. Plus I’ve never actually been drunk before so it could go really bad.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
Well, I don't really know how to tell you this, but I hope you find a girlfriend who loves you one day. Cheer up
you're in for a rude awakening bluepilled cuck
Strong communities = easy to form relationships because everyone knows someone.
Weak communities = loneliness, isolation, fear of strangers because people know only a small collection of 'safe' people that they are superficially connected with.
If theres a Goth night event, go to it. Lots of women there.
I go to goth bars with my friends pretty often. I get some initial interest from them but they lose it when they realize i'm a failed normie sperg.
This bitch was a goth girl: https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/28877713
How do I learn to appeal to them?
You have friends so you have the upper hand in trying to land a girlfriend.
Kinda. It's summer now and they're working so I rarely see them.
I think I need to put most of my focus towards dating apps and many college girls are gone for the summer too so that's not good.
Did Der Schooler make it into the thread yet?
yeah, he's here:
I'm not bad looking I'm just a massive introvert that's socially stunted. I too can't find a gf
Checks out. I don't know any of my neighbors. My parents don't have any friends and I don't have friends. I wish I could have been born somewhere nicer
I’m the same OP. I walk around my city and I see groups of friends out having fun or couples holding hands. I havent even spoken to a girl beyond a business transaction (barista, cashier, waitress, etc) in years. I have no idea how to attain this. I’m pretty sure I’m schizotypal as I always think people view me negatively and anxiety and paranoia never goes away with people no matter how familiar I am with them. I fantasize about romance and affection all the time.
Are you a Spaghetti spilling Autist around women?
I’ve had a lot of sex surprisingly, 60+ partners, but yeah for the most part I sperg out around women. I’ve found myself friendless in my early 30s and it’s impossible to meet women.
I was drinking coffee and listening to music at a local cafe that has a giant patio recently. I saw a gorgeous redhead and kinda stared at her, checking her out, because I just dont care anymore. Surprisingly she came and sat right next to me after getting her drink despite there being lots of open seats. I felt her glancing at me a lot but I continued to just listen to my music and watch people go by. She eventually just left. I would have no idea how to engage her though, after so much isolation. And women seem to like to lead me on and reject me cruelly and humiliate me.
>I’ve had a lot of sex surprisingly, 60+ partners
>And women seem to like to lead me on and reject me cruelly and humiliate me.
I totally believe you bro.
You either decide to devote yourself to self improvement, exercise, socializing, looking better, being more fun to be around, making friends, approaching women and accepting rejection.
OR you just accept that you aren't gonna date anyone and life goes on and it isn't fair but you can still be happy in other ways. Neither is better than the other. You just gotta pick one.
You are an incel in a world of thirst-traps. 99.9999% of women are not worth it.
The better thing to do is focus on yourself and not give a shit about anyone else, except your mother and father (so long as they are bound, otherwise, they are both worthless and irrelevant), the elderly and the needy. No need to be a jerk, but be assertive with yourself around others. Women force you to downgrade in that regard. I see it all the time and while men need to have feeling, they need not let it seep into interaction and decision making.