I’m a cis bisexual male who’s spoken to a lot of people in the LGBT community, and in my experience, cis lesbians seem to be by far the most chill and fun to talk to. I feel like I relate to them the most, plus there’s less drama overall.
Does anyone else feel similarly? My only real complaint is that they can be a bit on their guard around men, even when you’re just trying to be friendly with them with no ulterior motives.
I agree, at parties I often end up hanging out with the lesbos because I just vine with them better
Bi trans girl here, I’ve gotten quite the opposite vibe-tho tbf I was still presenting as male when I interacted with them, but a lotta cis lesbians tend to be kinda hard to deal with
Huh. As a cis lesbian I tend to make friends with bi men best. HS bestfriend was a bi dude. Current best friend: thought it was an awkward straight guy, nah hes an awkward bi guy.
>My only real complaint is that they can be a bit on their guard around men, even when you’re just trying to be friendly with them with no ulterior motives
I am this way but also 3/4 of every guy friend I tried to have has tried to fuck or develop some cringey crush on me that I have to turn down. Thankfully what I like about bi/gay guy friend is theyre the first ones to tell me that some guy I treat and see as a friend is talking about how he totally could fuck me straight behind my back. Even my good bi guy friends have made comments that theyd like to fuck me given the opportunity to but at least for the most part they respect that I am a lesbian and wont fuck them. Still odd how guys just put that out there all "hey we cool friends but I am horny so if you ever wanna fuck lmk" like thats normal but I guess its less weird than guys pretending and playing some lame manipulative game.
I was BFF with a lesbian but she did have her moments of weakness abs have like one night stands with married black men occasionally. It was very weird but ok
Bisexual women love to larp as lesbians for male attention.
There are plenty of bisexual women who exclusively or almost only have sex with women. For them identifying as Lesbian is a good shorthand
Also, Political Lesbians are valid.
First of all, I was speaking about bisexual women who have sex with men but call themselves lesbian. Second, lol no, they’re still bisexual and that’s why you sometimes hear about women getting dumped by their “totally lesbian” gf for a man. Repression does not work. I’d rather date a bisexual woman who is honest with herself (like my gf now) than one who represses her true self.
Political lesbians aren’t lesbians. They’re traumatized and/or misandrist women who often don’t love women nearly as much as they hate men.
maybe bisexual women repress because of biphobia, you ever think about that?
Biphobia isn't real
the whole "she'll leave me for a man" is a biphobic thing. It's a very common fear a lot of lesbians have that makes them hesitant to date bi women
Of course that is part of it. Doesn’t excuse It.
>still fuck men
Yeah I have has "lesbian" friends that do similar. Like 90% of the time shes stupid over some girl but if shes alone and heartbroken and horny she will fuck a dude. I personally don't get it, but then again Im a lone star lesbian and the one time I tried dick I never got the hubbub was about. Like even at my desperate lonelinest moments I get hit on by dudes and find them as repelling as if my brothers were hitting on me. So I figure theyre just bisexual girls that lean towards women and have self hatred issues.
Yeah I get it and I'd rather dudes do that then try to pretend like theyre my friends for months or years and then hit me with some "wahwah u friendzoned me" BS when they finally make their move and I have to remind them Im gay.
I just wish dudss would respect I am a lesbian and not hit on me at all. I get it you horny and I know I am attractive. But I can somehow resist trying to fuck friendly straight girls and also theres a thousand more straights girls than lesbians so why dont you hit on them instead of me?
>so why dont you hit on them instead of me?
Bi and lesbian girls are often more relatable and approachable to men. Also, bi and gay girls tend to be more interesting and fun to be around than hetero girl. My ex was a bi girl who was bisexual/heteroromantic, and it was a great relationship while it lasted.
Lesbians are also hotter
It makes sense to hit on bi girls but its rather a sign of self destructive tendencies that a dude would wanna go after a girl that specifically identifies as not into dudes. Like lesbians that go after straight girls are usually insecure and self destructive, thats why they seek women that are emotionally unavailable to them. So I assume the same is true of straight dudes that insist on hitting on lesbians. Even if you manage to score with a faux lesbian it doesnt make her suddenly stricktly dickly and usually those girls will bemoan their choice to fuck dudes when desperate. So like idk I just cant relate to that kind of self sabotage of wanting to fuck someone that isnt as into you as you are into them.
Also ultimately I dont wanna fuck dudes and wish theyd stop hitting on me.
>idk I just cant relate to that kind of self sabotage of wanting to fuck someone that isnt as into you as you are into them
This is the experience of every male who isn't Chad. I've got the same chances with the hetero scene queen as I do with a lesbian: .0001% and if you're used to those odds it makes very little difference.
I'd rather be an incel than fuck the fat chicks who do try to flirt with me.
Wall youre just agreeing with my observation that dudes that hit on lesbians are self destructive and insecure losers so whatever incel keep inceling Im sure someday it will make you less alone.
OP here. I can understand guys leaving that offer on the table. If a lesbian girl wanted to fuck me, I wouldn’t turn them down, since some lesbian choose to fuck men on occasion. I don’t feel it’s quite the same thing as trying to get into a girls pants. There’s no desperation or ulterior motive there, It’s just sort of a heads up like “hey, if you ever feel like experimenting a bit, I’m down”. I’ve said something similar to some of my straight male friends and they were just like “I’ll keep that in mind in the event that I ever do feel like it”.
Lesbians don’t fuck men on occasion. You sounded nice from the OP, but lesbians are neither sexually or romantically attracted to men. Geez. This is why I have trouble staying friends with men, even within the LGBT community. Many of you can’t seem to understand that lesbians are exclusively attracted to women. Doesn’t help that bisexual women pretend they’re lesbians while seeking sex with men.
Some bi women identify as lesbian. This isn’t to say all lesbians are bi, but it’s often difficult to tell a genuine lesbian from a bi girl masking as a lesbian. It’s understandable men would want to have that base covered and clarified in the event that a girl falls into the second category. Also, talking about this kind of thing makes it clear where the boundaries lie, so there’s no misunderstandings for either party.
They shouldn’t be identifying as the only label women exclusively attracted to women have. It invites people like OP to harass and pester us “just in case.” Some of the most homophobic shit I’ve heard is from bisexuals who think everyone is bi and monosexuals don’t exist.
the fault lies with the men who don't believe in pureblood lesbians not in lesbian leaning bisexual women.
Linguistically bi implies 50/50 attraction. A woman who only takes dick once or twice a year shouldn't have to open herself up to the attention bisexual would bring.
Now that I think of it tho she never did talk about sex with her girlfriends.
That's still bisex. What's up with the bisex erasure?
it is perfectly OK to be bisex.
it's internalized biphobia. bisexuals, especially bi women, suffer most out of all groups when it comes to poverty, intimate partner violence, drug use, etc. it's hard for them to fit in with both straight society and the gay/les community. the ones who pretend they're lesbians are used to relying on the lesbian community, and they don't want to lose that support when/if they decide to date men.
I am OP. And perhaps you’re right that they shouldn’t, but many do regardless (partially due to bi erasure).
All you have to do is turn a guy down and then it’s 100% clear where the two of you stand. If he continues to harass you after that point, then he’s a dick and not worth keeping as a friend.
Guys often put out feelers in opposite sex friendships to gauge where the boundaries of the friendship are.
I wish that was all I had to do! I’ve had so many men AND bi women try convincing me to have threesomes with them and a guy or try sex with guys because “lesbians” they know do it. Not even straight people have been this persistent in invalidating my homosexuality. It’s insane and shitty coming from your own “community.”
Yeah bisexual/homoromantic women should really have their own word, for that matter I feel like lesbians should be free to describe as cis4cis without stigma, thats coming from a mtf too
That's what the word sapphic is for & they already are, go outside lol
Nice autism stigma
>"Yes, I stigmatize autism"
All they have to say is that they’re bi but prefer women or only date women. If they’re lying to get a man off their back, clearly that won’t work because coomers think being a lesbian is a challenge. I don’t really care for cis4cis lesbians. They’re a majority and no one is oppressing them for only wanting to date each other. They need to lay off Twitter.
>They’re a majority and no one is oppressing them for only wanting to date each other. They need to lay off Twitter.
I like you say that when every dating app is 99% mtfs looking for cisf lesbians
I like when you say that as if it were true. It isn't. I almost never see trans women on dating apps. It's far more common to see couples and straight up cis men who want to perv on lesbians. Also, most transbians date each other, tourist.
Good to tell us your not a lesbian at all, trans or cis. This is completely different from reality
words are an attempt at quick hand communication you don't need to gate keep lesbianism so strictly. Most people don't know other words like "Saphic" and taking time to explain if you're attractions are a little more complicated is just unnecessary personal information most of the time
Dude, from my very first post I explicitly said I’m referring to bisexual women who actively have sex with men. There’s no excuse for them.
Most bisexuals do not have an evenly split attraction. Bi women identifying as les who still have sex with men bring lesbians negative attention because people like you and the OP love to tell us they know plenty of lesbians who love sex with men.
I know one lesbian who has one night stands I would never describe her as someone who has sex with men.
>she has sex with men
>but she doesn’t have sex with men!
Goldstar Lesbians are also valid
I never referred to goldstar lesbians anyway. Suffering from comphet is different from enjoying sex with men but lying about it.
i'm a bi dude and my bestfriend is a lesbo why is this such a trend?
My theory as to why I get along with bi dudes is that they like women too but not in the weirdly desperately horny way that straight dudes do. Like gay dudes tend to low key cockblock lesbians and find two lesbians making out in the gay bar as annoying. Straight dudes are way too excited and horny about a couple girls making out in a gay bar and make that shit weird oggling us. Bi dudes? Actually make good wing man ime and will casually fist bump me if I manage to make out with a girl at the gay bar and otherwise let me do my thing.
>desperately horny way that straight dudes do
Dudes aren’t just like that with women, they’re also like that with other men. As a bi male, I have to put up with a ton of gay guys that just act like creeps. I totally relate to the frustration a lot of women have of guys hitting on them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Never had this issue with other bi guys though.
I don’t think it’s due to a lower sex drive either, because I’m horny and pervy as fuck, but IDK. Somehow I find it less hot if both parties aren’t equally into the flirtation.
Exactly. I think if we met irl Id get along with you. Like maybe thats why I get along with bi dudes cause they understand how annoying it is when a dudes creeping on you unwarrented and they have more empathy than het dudes do for women. Also yall just cool dudes. I dont get why hetbi girls dont all wanna fuck with bi dudes. Yall the chillest kind of dudes.
All the cool women I interacted with were either bi or lesbian. Idk why, but het women just feel so soulless most of the time
I'm trans het girl
Do cis lesbians use that flag? I only see "nonbinary lesbians" and transbians using that.
Yeah, it’s the most widely used flag unless you’re like gen X or older.
>My only real complaint is that they can be a bit on their guard around men, even when you’re just trying to be friendly with them with no ulterior motives.
I get it, #notallmen. Just get sick of it when yet another guy touches my thigh or some other shit uninvited, or goes on a homophobic rant, or says something sexist and thinks you'll agree with them. Makes it hard to trust strangers
Too many of them think you’re telling them you’re a lesbian as a challenge and don’t believe in female homosexuality. Unfortunately seems like the OP is like that too. :p
where do men get these ideas?
lesbians have male brains in female body
yeah i'm honestly kinda sad i'm into men and not women. cause lesbians are broadly much nicer and more understanding
I think being bi gives them a bit of a release valve when they're tired of dating and dealing with cishet women's shit, so they're generally pretty chill around lesbians since even if they would fuck them like straight men, they aren't thirsting for it like they're in a desert. Straight men often have as much trouble with being on guard in a similar way as lesbians are against men, but with women, so even being a gay woman it's hard to be around them because of the mutual standoffishness.
Also because like, lesbians, real lesbians I mean not political ones, are fine with and encouraging of men expressing themselves in ways that aren't just machismo and sexual desire, and bi men not having to worry about cishet women's homophobia let's them explore those nonsexual and "feminine" sides of them, and I like encouraging that. It's like when lesbians do each others makeup, but in a more platonic way. I fondly remember brushing my bi friends long hair and showing him how to care for it, and he ended up with absolutely gorgeous locks of slightly wavy hair all the way down his back, and oh my gosh it was lovely.
I guess the tldr is that neither of us being het takes off the average heteronormative pressure of "but WHEN will we FUCK??" everyone else seems to live by, and even if that question is asked, we can both answer "probably never" and be fine with that. Idk, y'all are chill.
t. ransbian (real)
Personally I like ace/aro people the most as friends. It’s nice being able to talk to someone in a friendly context and know for a fact that’s all they’ll ever want from me, plus I don’t have to be subject to any relationship drama on their end. Cis-lesbians are probably a close second though
Me too. As a lesbo, ace/aro are the most understanding and patient. Could never befriend another lesbian, but ace/aro mfers?
I must have bad luck because the only asexuals I’ve met have been condescending towards people who have sex
lmfao, maybe because you're a cis male. interacting with lesbians as a cis lesbian poon repper, there was far more abuse and drama within my friend group and in my relationships than with anyone else. cis lesbians treat other lesbians like garbage
damn just like me frfr
As a bi cis male who pretends to be a cis lesbian on /lgbt/ and makes up probably 33% of all posts in /clg/, I agree.
The other 66% are larping trannies.