All that processed shit brah. Wait til they find out they can just get a cheap juicer and drink a cucumber + pineapple juice, or celery juice every morning
lack of fiber in diets, gluten intake (mainly a problem in euro descended whites) and wrecked microbiome. simple as. make kombucha and drink it, cheap and easy and amazingly healthful
I'm just going to be honest here. I have taken massive shits since I was young. We're talking an average of 12-18" long, and around 1-2" wide. It disappears into the toilet hole, lays along the bottom, and comes all the way out of the water. No laxatives, just drink some choccy milk or something, okay. Fuck naggers and israelites.
Why drink water? Gatorade has what athletes need so you better drink it you'll be ripped like a NFL player as you chow down on nachos and sit watching sports.
I'm almost 40 and pooping is like a sub minute affair. I'm a desk jockey ffs.
Drink water work out (not even crazy a simple walk here and there will keep GI tract up) and don't eat slop. Stupid simple.
>It's gays doing it for gay sex.
Yeah when i read it, I thought like... WTF do they mean in the sub-headline ... Who are the "young consumers" that are ao "interested" in laxatives..?
I don't know it takes me like 15 minutes on average, maybe I go when I dont have to shit so bad and just read stuff so im not concentrating. Sometimes I have to wipe 50 times like a fucking animals though.
Was anyone into Nine Inch Nails around 2007-ish when Year Zero came out and was following the ARG around it?
Bush/War on terror inspired album.
Several more massive terrorist attacks. Government goes full evangelical christian fascist.
ANYWAYS The point is at one point they put something in the water to make people more compliant, but it also makes you constipated. At one point one of the characters is talking about a magazine article like this on "Tips to help you shit" and how that wouldn't have existed 10 years ago, but nobody bats an eye now and nobody thinks it is strange because they're all too brainwashed.
I think one of the characters wakes up a bit when they visit an uncle on a farm with a well.
They're writing in a journal about how they've started being able to think more clearly and about how much more energy they have and shit and wanting to do something about what's going on.
Then it ends with them going back instantly being hit by brain fog and not caring anymore.
that picture is terrifying. the facts, which if unrefuted, are sure to cause a ripple in the daily life of everyday people. If only there was a way to poop the flouride out. thats what we need. a pill that will trap the fluoride and allow you to poop it out.
The thing about poop is that I only produce so much in a lifetime. So little poop, so little time. You can write with it. You can smear it on stuff. You can throw it. Yet my body only blesses me with a singular daily harvest. It's some kind cruel joke. That's where laxatives come in. Cheating? Maybe. But by god. I'm only on this planet once. And my body produces poop dammit.
Laxatives are for when you haven't shit in 4 days. They fuck up your gut biome if you keep taking them your poo poo turns to gravel and you unironically can't shit without them
about 8 years ago, I was very depressed. I was about to kill myself. and then one tuesday morning, I woke up and took a 3 foot long shit. It saved my life bros
I saw some article earlier, where they were saying that its because of some tiktok shit. like a tiktok poop thing. normally i would just be like, go fuck yourself. but i completely believe that the laxative shortage is because of some tiktok thing.
I just take extra extra extra extra extra extra dose of magnesium if I need to. Unlike laxatives, it doesn’t make me constipated for days after the Big Clearance, everything just goes back to norm.
It’s not that I eat unhealthy - I just forget to eat and drink often, so I’m usually very parched and everything stops working inside
shhh these naggers dont know that you can just buy magnesium glycinate or citrate and take massive shits. this message is sponsired by ex-lax and tok tok
Shit food and a total over-reliance on caffeine (the most common laxative) which in itself is a result of Americans consuming too much soda and energy drinks which again is a failure of the American food ecosystem as a whole.
No clue. Nobody I know regularly used laxatives. I was constipated for the first time since childhood around a year ago and a cup of coffee got it right out.
When I lived in New York 20 years ago all the ads were for either sinus medicine or heartburn medicine. That was probably 80% of the ads. I never got a good answer as to why americans have such severe sinus and heartburn issues. I have also not once seen these meds been advertised in Europe.
Europe banned GMO foods decades ago. We had our shot about 10 years ago and the agri corps won out. Good thing Kennedy took them to court and won enough to bankrupt Monsanto but then your European version of Monsanto bought them out. Why don’t you guys reign them in?
Anyways, I started getting what seems to be a mild form of GERD after COVID. Why can’t the Chi Coms reign in these bio research firms?
When was the last time an American ate some vegetables?
I just ate a salad you Jap. Also your video game company CAPCOM predicted a lot of this
still plenty of Metamucil every time I go to the store. I'm 26 and drink a couple table spoons every day so I can have one solid shit in the morning and it slides right out. no sitting on the toiler for 30mins and having to use a whole roll to wipe
I met this girl like 10 years ago that was pretty hot. she invited me over to her place one friday night and we ordered a pizza. I ate like 2 slices because im not a fucking slob. she ate like 6 slices of pizza. anyways, the point of the story is that i bet she took some huge shits. we stopped dating shortly afterwards. Shes probably 300 lbs now.
She was in grad school with me. I'm a friendly guy, but generally I find myself being the pursuer in most relationships. Anyway since I was a year ahead of her she kind of latched onto me. Which I didn't mind much, but I noticed that I had to start being careful with what I let her know. For example when I showed her the library and told her that she could get a study carrel, she wanted to share mine. I had to tell her that my carrel was where I went to get away from all distractions. She also started getting curious about where I spent Wednesday evening (Church) and Friday Afternoon (I had a regular euchre game that Iattended)
I could sometimes go two weeks without shitting back when I would go over a week ingesting nothing but vodka and soda. There are still some weeks where I don’t shit. I sometimes don’t eat much at all and I think I have a slow metabolism, especially when I go days without doing anything aside from clean up the house and fuck about with the chickens because I work from home.
probably a clickbait article.
if you wanna shit well, eat a low fat, high starch, high fiber diet. and stay hydrated, but don't overdo it.
also. avoid rice. it's nasty.
Nah ...
- fat / oil lubes your shits.
- starch turns your shits into glue, and the human crayon, everlasting wipes ensues.
- large amounts of fiber makes you shit more, if that is something you like to do... not really necessary though...
- water is great, but the idea that you need to "drink at least xxx amount" is bullshit ... drink when you are thirsty...
>fat / oil lubes your shits
fat makes digestion happen more slowly. This gives the gut more time to remove water from the stool and make it dry and harder to poop out.
You want to eat starch with fiber. White rice is really bad in my experience. Just stay away from it because it is so constipating it could hurt you bunghole.
ahh see now we are getting into another argument. eating "fat" doesnt make you fat. having "fat" on your body, does what you are describing. I grew up in the 90's and there was this line of snacks like cookies and shit called "snackwells" looking back, its kind of funny. they always put on their labels "fat free" they made like a few billion dollars off that. eating "fat" doesnt make you fat. eating carbs, which turn into fat, makes you fat. I know you understand. Im just typing it all out for the audience.
3 weeks ago
Anonymous
seed oils make you fat and sick tbf. and they're in pretty much every product the avg american eats. they're microdosing nerve damaging, inflammation causing compounds several times a day. and that's on top of glyphosate laden, bleached grains
This is me guys.
Dirty bulking and feel constipated, yesterday I had some shit stain in my underwear for the first time in my life. Is it over? More Fibre, less goyslop? Tell me the secrets
americans ingest more industrial chemicals every day than the average 3rd world farmer will in his entire life and then they wonder why their bodies are so out of whack, they can't even shit
>cherrypicked food stuffs
Is this your belief of what the american diet is? Ketchup on chocolate washed down with mountain dew? Sounds more like a Podesta pizzagate email than what the average american eats.
Most preservatives and flavorings and fillers in the rest of the stock of cheap grocery items have no adverse effects in their usually consumed proportions. And thats all they essentially are, food preservatives, flavoring, fillers, and food colorants.
And now, these ingredients have nothing to do with constipation. You're just being cheeky but you look dumb along the way.
I dont let any women shit at my house. Its a liability. I dont want my homeowners insurance rate to increase. If you need to take a shit then theres a mcdonalds just down the street.
Did the shots fry our shitters?
I got my second dose in Sep 2021 and couldn't shit more than once a week by January 22'. Doctor is doing ultrasounds, blood tests, urine tests, shit tests, etc.
Too much meat and too little fiber. I shit 12 inchers every day, perfect size and they slip out like my asshole is buttered up. How you may ask? Well, >breakfeast oats with banans and berries >lunch, lentil soup >dinner wholewheat rye bread with cheese
are people still taking them? they prescribed me zoloft and i took it for like 2 days and i turned into a fucking zombie and stopped taking it. Its not even a fun drug to take.
I’m amazed by how many ads there are for laxatives or “natural” constipation/digestion cures when I view American content online.
I’m convinced most Americans just have the nastiest shits imaginable or else hige constipation issues, and they only use a bit of TP to clean up after instead of actually washing it.
Simply vile.
I poo every day at the same time like clockwork.
i came here for poop and i stayed even when the subject got subverted. look, if you guys want to take some solid shits then take this. its awesome. also, plan on staying home for a couple of days.
Onions and magdonal
MAGDONAL :DDDD GIB EBIN BOOB :DDDD BIG SNEGS
All that processed shit brah. Wait til they find out they can just get a cheap juicer and drink a cucumber + pineapple juice, or celery juice every morning
Or plum juice
Dude for me it takes like 20 seconds from start to finish to shit. Never had a problem with that.
I'm not even that healthy atm either
Same here. Thought I was the only one. On the rare occasions I get plugged up it might take 60-90 seconds.
20? My poop slips out of my ass in probably 3 seconds.
Maybe ur asshole is loose
Not at all. I can hold it in as long as i need to. Then when its time to go it just plops right out.
How can I be as cool as you guys? I also wish to discuss my shitting habits in public with strangers
> You have arrived ... U said your piece ...
Well done!
Least constipated laxative enjoyer
need to check
lack of fiber in diets, gluten intake (mainly a problem in euro descended whites) and wrecked microbiome. simple as. make kombucha and drink it, cheap and easy and amazingly healthful
I'm just going to be honest here. I have taken massive shits since I was young. We're talking an average of 12-18" long, and around 1-2" wide. It disappears into the toilet hole, lays along the bottom, and comes all the way out of the water. No laxatives, just drink some choccy milk or something, okay. Fuck naggers and israelites.
best post on /misc/ rn
Well done lad, keep it up
because we're sick of your shit xD
arent laxatives easy to make?
make more
It's true. I need coffee to poop.
Americans are so gay their entire supply of laxatives are exhausted for gay sex.
They're full of shit.
Literally just drink more water?
CAPTCHA: G4YDK
Why drink water? Gatorade has what athletes need so you better drink it you'll be ripped like a NFL player as you chow down on nachos and sit watching sports.
I'm almost 40 and pooping is like a sub minute affair. I'm a desk jockey ffs.
Drink water work out (not even crazy a simple walk here and there will keep GI tract up) and don't eat slop. Stupid simple.
It's gays doing it for gay sex.
>It's gays doing it for gay sex.
Yeah when i read it, I thought like... WTF do they mean in the sub-headline ... Who are the "young consumers" that are ao "interested" in laxatives..?
They never heard of coffee? It'll get you going.
When was the last time an American ate some vegetables?
I'm eating brussel sprouts right now you slant eyed virgin.
Hey brah, chill those Japs have it pretty bad as it is
never, they taste bad and don't fill my tank. rabbit food just ain't for me.
I don't know it takes me like 15 minutes on average, maybe I go when I dont have to shit so bad and just read stuff so im not concentrating. Sometimes I have to wipe 50 times like a fucking animals though.
I'm actually in the loo right now
Was anyone into Nine Inch Nails around 2007-ish when Year Zero came out and was following the ARG around it?
Bush/War on terror inspired album.
Several more massive terrorist attacks. Government goes full evangelical christian fascist.
ANYWAYS The point is at one point they put something in the water to make people more compliant, but it also makes you constipated. At one point one of the characters is talking about a magazine article like this on "Tips to help you shit" and how that wouldn't have existed 10 years ago, but nobody bats an eye now and nobody thinks it is strange because they're all too brainwashed.
I think one of the characters wakes up a bit when they visit an uncle on a farm with a well.
They're writing in a journal about how they've started being able to think more clearly and about how much more energy they have and shit and wanting to do something about what's going on.
Then it ends with them going back instantly being hit by brain fog and not caring anymore.
>they put something in the water
Fluoride maybe ?
this thread is about pooping. ok?
>... "they put something in the water to make people more compliant, but it also makes you constipated."
The full quote, might show the relevance...
that picture is terrifying. the facts, which if unrefuted, are sure to cause a ripple in the daily life of everyday people. If only there was a way to poop the flouride out. thats what we need. a pill that will trap the fluoride and allow you to poop it out.
The more tp it takes to clean your bunghole, the unhealthier your gut
I have the opposite problem. I need more fiber but I don't want to eat a ton of shit bread
Chia seeds, breh
>extra interest from younger consumers
is this homosexuals prepping for anal?
>Why Americans can't poop naturally?
We love cheese.
American "cheese"
America actually makes some of the best cheese, retard.
CHEDDAR ISNT CHEESE nagger
Yes huh
CHEDDARF DOPESNT EVEN CONTAIN MILKE
I HATE ANGLOS SO MUCH ITS UNREAL
>MILKE
Thats not a real thing
Chedder is cheese, what are you talking about? Its nice and sharp, a little firm. Melts into a tangy creamy grease.
i was the guy that pooped on the plane a few days ago ama
The thing about poop is that I only produce so much in a lifetime. So little poop, so little time. You can write with it. You can smear it on stuff. You can throw it. Yet my body only blesses me with a singular daily harvest. It's some kind cruel joke. That's where laxatives come in. Cheating? Maybe. But by god. I'm only on this planet once. And my body produces poop dammit.
>checks flag
Do not redeem sar
Laxatives are for when you haven't shit in 4 days. They fuck up your gut biome if you keep taking them your poo poo turns to gravel and you unironically can't shit without them
about 8 years ago, I was very depressed. I was about to kill myself. and then one tuesday morning, I woke up and took a 3 foot long shit. It saved my life bros
Based. Expelled those parasites in one hail mary squeeze well fucking played
I can't find any laxatives around in my area
I saw some article earlier, where they were saying that its because of some tiktok shit. like a tiktok poop thing. normally i would just be like, go fuck yourself. but i completely believe that the laxative shortage is because of some tiktok thing.
I just take extra extra extra extra extra extra dose of magnesium if I need to. Unlike laxatives, it doesn’t make me constipated for days after the Big Clearance, everything just goes back to norm.
It’s not that I eat unhealthy - I just forget to eat and drink often, so I’m usually very parched and everything stops working inside
shhh these naggers dont know that you can just buy magnesium glycinate or citrate and take massive shits. this message is sponsired by ex-lax and tok tok
Spine damage. I can't shit some days.
Knew a guy with three hernias he had to power an entire pot of coffee and half a pack of smokes just to take a shit
too much meat and cheese in our diets
Oh no Ameribros, do you feel DEMORALIZED now from the demoralization thread?
It's okay there's a thousand slides to skim through between the thousand demoralization threads.
Shit food and a total over-reliance on caffeine (the most common laxative) which in itself is a result of Americans consuming too much soda and energy drinks which again is a failure of the American food ecosystem as a whole.
LACK OF FIBER FROM AN ULTRA PROCESSED DIET
High fructose corn syrup clogging up the tubes.
Because of fiber….urban legend treated as science
No clue. Nobody I know regularly used laxatives. I was constipated for the first time since childhood around a year ago and a cup of coffee got it right out.
When I lived in New York 20 years ago all the ads were for either sinus medicine or heartburn medicine. That was probably 80% of the ads. I never got a good answer as to why americans have such severe sinus and heartburn issues. I have also not once seen these meds been advertised in Europe.
Europe banned GMO foods decades ago. We had our shot about 10 years ago and the agri corps won out. Good thing Kennedy took them to court and won enough to bankrupt Monsanto but then your European version of Monsanto bought them out. Why don’t you guys reign them in?
Anyways, I started getting what seems to be a mild form of GERD after COVID. Why can’t the Chi Coms reign in these bio research firms?
I just ate a salad you Jap. Also your video game company CAPCOM predicted a lot of this
Imagine being addicted to laxatives.
People on opioids or heart meds are.
Shows aside the fatties and all how unhealthy this country is they can't shit.
I don't take laxatives
still plenty of Metamucil every time I go to the store. I'm 26 and drink a couple table spoons every day so I can have one solid shit in the morning and it slides right out. no sitting on the toiler for 30mins and having to use a whole roll to wipe
"youre full of shit"
I'd recommend a plant-based diet, but whom am I kidding, y'all don't want to hear it.
I knew a girl who only shat once per week. When she told me about it I realized why she was in such a foul mood so often.
you ruined it.
How?
i wanted you to say she was in a shitty mood
Did she have autism. Serious question. idk why but ive heard many autistic women have trouble shitting
No. Although in retrospect she might have been borderline personality.
what situation were you in where this girl decided to tell you about her pooping schedule?
not very ladylike imo d e s u
I met this girl like 10 years ago that was pretty hot. she invited me over to her place one friday night and we ordered a pizza. I ate like 2 slices because im not a fucking slob. she ate like 6 slices of pizza. anyways, the point of the story is that i bet she took some huge shits. we stopped dating shortly afterwards. Shes probably 300 lbs now.
She was in grad school with me. I'm a friendly guy, but generally I find myself being the pursuer in most relationships. Anyway since I was a year ahead of her she kind of latched onto me. Which I didn't mind much, but I noticed that I had to start being careful with what I let her know. For example when I showed her the library and told her that she could get a study carrel, she wanted to share mine. I had to tell her that my carrel was where I went to get away from all distractions. She also started getting curious about where I spent Wednesday evening (Church) and Friday Afternoon (I had a regular euchre game that Iattended)
why dont you write a book about it? you already wrote the first chapter.. keep going
I could sometimes go two weeks without shitting back when I would go over a week ingesting nothing but vodka and soda. There are still some weeks where I don’t shit. I sometimes don’t eat much at all and I think I have a slow metabolism, especially when I go days without doing anything aside from clean up the house and fuck about with the chickens because I work from home.
I eat a lot of beans. And since im not cursed with grinGOY bowels, I can go once per day without issue.
probably a clickbait article.
if you wanna shit well, eat a low fat, high starch, high fiber diet. and stay hydrated, but don't overdo it.
also. avoid rice. it's nasty.
Nah ...
- fat / oil lubes your shits.
- starch turns your shits into glue, and the human crayon, everlasting wipes ensues.
- large amounts of fiber makes you shit more, if that is something you like to do... not really necessary though...
- water is great, but the idea that you need to "drink at least xxx amount" is bullshit ... drink when you are thirsty...
>fat / oil lubes your shits
fat makes digestion happen more slowly. This gives the gut more time to remove water from the stool and make it dry and harder to poop out.
You want to eat starch with fiber. White rice is really bad in my experience. Just stay away from it because it is so constipating it could hurt you bunghole.
Anon, stop. You have to be literally retarded to still push low fat/high carb diets.
don't bully him!
if he eats low fat/high carb he probably already made himself retarded! he's a victim of diet culture!
dude. fat kills.
It causes whole body inflammation. Systemic inflammation. It's terrible for you. if you want to live a long life, ditch the fat.
ahh see now we are getting into another argument. eating "fat" doesnt make you fat. having "fat" on your body, does what you are describing. I grew up in the 90's and there was this line of snacks like cookies and shit called "snackwells" looking back, its kind of funny. they always put on their labels "fat free" they made like a few billion dollars off that. eating "fat" doesnt make you fat. eating carbs, which turn into fat, makes you fat. I know you understand. Im just typing it all out for the audience.
seed oils make you fat and sick tbf. and they're in pretty much every product the avg american eats. they're microdosing nerve damaging, inflammation causing compounds several times a day. and that's on top of glyphosate laden, bleached grains
With all the slop americans eat I'd expect them to have exactly opposite problem.
no. low fiber foods stop you from shitting
This is me guys.
Dirty bulking and feel constipated, yesterday I had some shit stain in my underwear for the first time in my life. Is it over? More Fibre, less goyslop? Tell me the secrets
Caffeine. So have an eca stack pre workout. Preferably on leg day.
You'll be cracking a bowl in no time.
Also more water ffs.
stop drinking alcohol
no u
damn nigga i wasn't even talking to you
yeah i know. its all good
🙂
Most mutts and spics here can just use milk if they need to shit. I’ve never been constipated that I can recall. At least not to a point I noticed.
All the shit they put in food
Dude, just eat spicy food, lmao.
You don't even have to eat healthy, just eat a hot pepper raw at the end of the day.
americans ingest more industrial chemicals every day than the average 3rd world farmer will in his entire life and then they wonder why their bodies are so out of whack, they can't even shit
>cherrypicked food stuffs
Is this your belief of what the american diet is? Ketchup on chocolate washed down with mountain dew? Sounds more like a Podesta pizzagate email than what the average american eats.
Most preservatives and flavorings and fillers in the rest of the stock of cheap grocery items have no adverse effects in their usually consumed proportions. And thats all they essentially are, food preservatives, flavoring, fillers, and food colorants.
And now, these ingredients have nothing to do with constipation. You're just being cheeky but you look dumb along the way.
I dont let any women shit at my house. Its a liability. I dont want my homeowners insurance rate to increase. If you need to take a shit then theres a mcdonalds just down the street.
Opiates and lack of fibre and fats. I literally take 2 monumental shits day.
genetics
Sedentary lifestyle
Goyslop
How do you think chipotle became popular here?
Did the shots fry our shitters?
I got my second dose in Sep 2021 and couldn't shit more than once a week by January 22'. Doctor is doing ultrasounds, blood tests, urine tests, shit tests, etc.
>ultrasounds
you are mpreg
Opiates and goyslop
it's why they import so many poos. soon mutts will be shitting in the streets
This is 'gut health' marketing. I do not watch television but whenever they are around I see commercials about pooping and pro biotics
Too much meat and too little fiber. I shit 12 inchers every day, perfect size and they slip out like my asshole is buttered up. How you may ask? Well,
>breakfeast oats with banans and berries
>lunch, lentil soup
>dinner wholewheat rye bread with cheese
As snack I eat apples or other fruits
Do you inspect and measure it on the poop shelf? I drank some purple stuff yesterday and it turned my shit green.
dye will do that
eating beets makes your shit look like a massacre and if you eat enough you might think you're pissing blood next time you go peepee
other countries aren't sending their best.
All those fucking ssri's everyone is taking. They cause constipation
are people still taking them? they prescribed me zoloft and i took it for like 2 days and i turned into a fucking zombie and stopped taking it. Its not even a fun drug to take.
SSRIs have been deboonked for a few years now but docs still get sweet paychecks from pushing them on patients.
I’m amazed by how many ads there are for laxatives or “natural” constipation/digestion cures when I view American content online.
I’m convinced most Americans just have the nastiest shits imaginable or else hige constipation issues, and they only use a bit of TP to clean up after instead of actually washing it.
Simply vile.
I poo every day at the same time like clockwork.
i came here for poop and i stayed even when the subject got subverted. look, if you guys want to take some solid shits then take this. its awesome. also, plan on staying home for a couple of days.
>tfw just took a massive shit without any laxatives and minimal wiping
Feels good being superior
if you drinking enough water every day, you shouldn't have an issue taking shit.