LULZ / TV & Film

Who would you have direct?

Who would you have direct?

  1. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Andy Serkis

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Unorthodox but I like the way you think anon

  2. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't have them make it at all because it would be filled with homosexual/tranny shit and gender/race politics

  3. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Did they ever do a book where the characters turn some kind of small animal like a frog and then get trapped in a toilet bowl right before a hot teacher of theirs goes to poop in it?

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      with 60some books in the series, i'm sure it's in there somewhere!

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        Shut the fuck up reddit

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      >start out making books to teach kids about animals and their perspectives
      >instead teach them about the horrors of war

      I know its a fetish joke but there's a LOT of scenes where they morph very small prey animals. Its always horrific and traumatic. Like morphing a shrew and smelling a rotting carcass and wanting eat the meat and the maggots in it. Then having a nightmare about a shrew eating a cat and the maggots writhing within it where she is both shrew and cat. Or morphing ants and getting dismembered by real ants for being foreign.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        I loved these books and they set a very high standard later in life for science fiction for these reasons

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        It was made pretty clear in the stories themselves. The Yeerks are completely sapient, just as much as any human, but have to live in bodies incapable of actually doing Anything with that sapience. They aren't like Dolphins and whales who can exist in the comfy middle spot between sapient and sentient, they are completely 100% aware that their current existence sucks massive balls.
        THEN you pair all that up with the fact the only creature they were free to infect were basically monkey's with everything good about being a monkey removed. None of the strength or reflexes needed to swing through trees, horrible senses that only seemed good to creatures who have only learned what "seeing" is a few weeks ago, short uneven limbs that can't even work most of the time. Creatures you can't even stay in for more then three days, otherwise you starve to a very painful death.
        AND THEN you also pair everything before with the fact some extremely prideful and arrogant alien centaurs are actively keeping you from finding better bodies (aka a better existence in every possible way) no matter how much you try and explain your situation to them.
        It makes completely perfect sense why Yeerks are the way they are.

        Unironically one of the best book series out there. So yes.

        autism

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I remember one where they turn into a fly or mosquito or something in a washroom, and then someone goes into the stall and uses the toilet with them in the bowl.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        holy fucking kek

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      yes, #16, The Warning. They morph flies and Tobias gets stuck in the toilet after losing control. Not a teacher but some rando sits on the bowl.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      yeah haha it would be so scary and terrible if like they transformed into a beetle or something and got stepped on by a hot teacher right that would be so gruesome and bad

  4. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Probably Del Toro. I liked the look of Hellboy 2, it had some good looking creatures.

  5. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >From the mystifying mind of M. Night Shyamalan

  6. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    what the fuck was their problem?

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      It was made pretty clear in the stories themselves. The Yeerks are completely sapient, just as much as any human, but have to live in bodies incapable of actually doing Anything with that sapience. They aren't like Dolphins and whales who can exist in the comfy middle spot between sapient and sentient, they are completely 100% aware that their current existence sucks massive balls.
      THEN you pair all that up with the fact the only creature they were free to infect were basically monkey's with everything good about being a monkey removed. None of the strength or reflexes needed to swing through trees, horrible senses that only seemed good to creatures who have only learned what "seeing" is a few weeks ago, short uneven limbs that can't even work most of the time. Creatures you can't even stay in for more then three days, otherwise you starve to a very painful death.
      AND THEN you also pair everything before with the fact some extremely prideful and arrogant alien centaurs are actively keeping you from finding better bodies (aka a better existence in every possible way) no matter how much you try and explain your situation to them.
      It makes completely perfect sense why Yeerks are the way they are.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        I don't think the Andalites were actively shitting on them until they initiated first contact and the Yeerks stole their bodies and tech.

        Also you forgot the other hellish part of their existence: Even after they start exploring space every host body that's good is unattainable, and all the available ones have some kind of horrific, mindbreaking drawback like those centipedes who are cursed with endless hunger.
        It's honestly no shock they go full tilt trying to infest humans when they find them.

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          To be fair, they had access to quite a lot of potential Hork Bajir bodies, until that one Andalite that later became Visser 3's host released a virus that killed of a majority of the population

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          >I don't think the Andalites were actively shitting on them until they initiated first contact and the Yeerks stole their bodies and tech.
          Yeerks stole nothing from the Andalites. They were given tech by an Andalite, and stole the bodies of other species.
          They only got an Andalite body years later, when the war was already on.

  7. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Name strikes a bell like I read her books for half my childhood
    >Look her up to see what I remember
    >Haven't read a single one of her books
    Weird.

  8. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I dont trust anyone to adapt this properly. Not in the next 5 years a minimum

  9. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Did anyone actually read these? I just looked at the cover

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically one of the best book series out there. So yes.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I was going to go through the whole series but ended up only finishing Andalite Chronicles. Its pretty great. About how there's no "good guys" in war.

  10. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    No one. It's a shitty series fuck off.

  11. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >90% of the series is ghost written yet it's still completely kino

    How? It's a series for teenagers but it has great villains, body horror, morally grey decisions, metaphysical elements (Ellimist fucker), etc etc. The aliens are all distinct too, not just "humanoid". There's centaur fuckers, 9 foot tall lizard blades, ravenous centipedes, brain slugs...

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      there were a few stinkers here and there.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure i read all the books when i was younger.
      I remember them being mostly good, but occasionally there was a shit book. That is to be expected when you pump out 60 of them.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I still remember the ellimist book from when I was a kid. Must have been 15 years ago or something. It was a pretty tragic story

  12. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Neill Blomkamp

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Not a bad choice either

  13. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Fucking furfags

  14. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Visser Three did nothing wrong

  15. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Unadulterated kino.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      BEAKED.com

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      do female andalites have furry tits?

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I don't remember much about this, but I remember it being fucking insane when I was a kid. Like super violent or fucked up or something.

  16. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I stopped reading these when I got to the book with the butterfly cover.

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Even back then troons were too busy trying to ruin our fun

  17. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Visser 1 comes to Earth and controls a human with some other Yeerk and they fall in love and their human hosts fall in love too and then the four of them wind up in this weird fucked up symbiotic love situation and have two kids then Visser 1 kills her host but the other Yeerk refuses to and starves out leaving part of himself attached to the brain of his host who goes insane from it and 1's host comes trying to get the kids and is then killed off as well

    My little ten year old brain reading this under the covers when I was supposed to be asleep was on a trip.

  18. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    i remember during that elementary scholastic book fair deal i circled a ton of books in the magazine and my mom ended up buying redwall instead of animorphs because they had cute animals. no regrets but i wonder how different, it at all, my life would be down the other route

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Instead of being kinda furry you'd be a giga autistic chris chan tier sperg who goes to furfag cons in full d-fur cosplay

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I read both and it was probably responsible for a lot of things

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      What's this one about, it looks like Reepicheep

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I A M T H A T I S

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I read both, Animorphs becore Redwall, and my life is amazing tbh

      Try The Prince of Nothing series for an adult Animorphs feel.

  19. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    I read maybe the first couple of books. sounds like this series gets really fucked up what the hell

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      The series was pretty fucked by the start. The alien who gives them power is devoured in such a way that there is plenty of gore and chunks for the other aliens to eat up, the actual horrors of transforming, people being killed during the big ending rescue via giant painful fireball.
      Not to say it doesn't get even worse with the gore, horror of transforming into animals or bugs, just how plain SHIT war is, recruiting disabled kids for canon fodder, the very act of war changing the valley girl into a psychopath who actively needs war to continue functioning as a person, characters being tortured until they shit themselves, ants being forced to cope with the size and instincts of a full human brain, all sorts of shit really.
      It's great and not even the most fucked up series by Applegate. Shit like Remnants gets even CRAZIER.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        go to sleep sperglord

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          Only if you do so too.

          • 7 days ago
            Anonymous

            go to sleep sperglord

            Sleep together.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        what the hell is remnants

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          Basically, Earth gets hit by an extinction level asteroid killing everything, but a spaceship filled with the last survivors gets launched into space. All the people are kept alive in a frozen stasis, except for one kid who ends up forced awake for 500 years straight thanks to a glitch.
          And then all the remaining members whose cryo-pod didn't give out and fail over the 500 year trip are forced to survive inside a giant spaceship trying to make a proper environment for the humans, only to end up including the extremely fucked up art of Hell itself, made by Hieronymus Bosch and others.
          And that's all in the first book alone lmao

          • 7 days ago
            Anonymous

            > but a spaceship filled with the last survivors gets launched into space. All the people are kept alive in a frozen stasis, except for one kid who ends up forced awake for 500 years straight thanks to a glitch.

            That's a blatant rip off of a short story by Fred Saberhagen with exact same premise

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_works_by_Fred_Saberhagen

            • 7 days ago
              Anonymous

              Is that the one where the kid wakes up something like 60 years early and when the family wake up they think he is their grandpa from back on earth?

            • 7 days ago
              Anonymous

              Basically, Earth gets hit by an extinction level asteroid killing everything, but a spaceship filled with the last survivors gets launched into space. All the people are kept alive in a frozen stasis, except for one kid who ends up forced awake for 500 years straight thanks to a glitch.
              And then all the remaining members whose cryo-pod didn't give out and fail over the 500 year trip are forced to survive inside a giant spaceship trying to make a proper environment for the humans, only to end up including the extremely fucked up art of Hell itself, made by Hieronymus Bosch and others.
              And that's all in the first book alone lmao

              isnt this pandorum?

              • 7 days ago
                Anonymous

                and the premise of passengers.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        I'm a fan of Everworld

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        to be fair Rachael was already a garden gnome

        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous
        • 7 days ago
          Anonymous

          I didn't like how ax was some garden gnome in that show they did.

  20. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Ax>Tobias>Marco>Jake=>Rachel

    [deleted post]

    [deleted post]

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      Marco is pretty shitty, why rank him so high?

  21. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    We were fucking robbed. I will forever hate that fecal abortion that was shat onto the bit screen.

  22. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    David Cronenberg obviously.

  23. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Me.

  24. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    lol I never read this or Animorphs I just looked at the funny page flip art at the bottom of the page where the guy gradually turns into a ferret or whatever, put the book down, and read something else

  25. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Would be great to see this series adapted with a proper budget and decent show runners

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      What the fuck is a "proper budget" in this context though?
      The main characters' powers are incredibly CGI intensive and their fighting forms are tigers and bears and shit which means you either need to pay to have those animals on set + stuntmen and wranglers trained to use them in shoots, or CGI those as well.
      Andalites and a lot of the other ayylmaos are too big and/or fucking bizarre to have practical suits for, so you're probably CGI'ing them as well.
      And that's before you even get to the ones where they're going to other planets or under the sea.

      No fucking way this could be a live-action series, it'd have to be animated or a string of films.

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        if the writing/acting was good in the series i wouldn't even care about fake animal puppets or bad cgi
        i don't know why they haven't made any animated movies

  26. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >that scene where an ant gets the ability to morph and just starts screaming when it turns into a human
    >they fucking beat it to death

  27. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    Me.

  28. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    George is or was the only director with the vision/power/money to make this in a way which would be worthwhile.

  29. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    >The Vissir Chronicles has an entire page dedicated to Vissir One trying to wrap her mind around the fact Humans are apparently the only species to engage in wars with itself
    How did other species invent weapons of war if they never warred amongst themselves? Why would you need to put weapons on starships if you don't know what war is?

    • 7 days ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure what you're referencing is the first abduction where she sees human brains have two halves at odds with each other meaning humans are schizoid compared to other races, not that other races don't conduct war.

  30. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    out of the way nerds

  31. 7 days ago
    Anonymous

    wut

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