Who was your favorite Roman Emperor? (Don't say Tiberius).
Who was your favorite Roman Emperor? (Don't say Tiberius).
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Tiberius.
Nero
i would have loved to demolish his smug face
Vitellius
Why?
Everyone hated him but he was probably a nice guy, so I feel bad for him
But on a second thought maybe my favourite would be octavian or majorian
He planned to have Nero's femboy wife publicly raped in the area. I'd hardly call that nice.
>Nero:traps are hot
>Nero’s praetorian prefect: traps are hot
>Otho: traps are hot
>Vespasian: lol traps are gay kill yourself or I’ll have you raped in the giant coliseum that I just built using a bunch of stolen israelitegold
It’s a matter of perspective, really
>gangly weirdo nerd
>nicest thing anyone ever said about him was that he looks decent as long as he isn't trying to talk or move or do anything at all
>unironically pretended to be retarded until he was crowned, which is probably the only reason he wasn't assassinated as a child
>was an etruscaboo of all fucking things and wrote dozens of volumes on their history and language and wrote an Etruscan/Latin dictionary
>wife was just waiting for him to become emperor, then poisoned him to install her son from a previous marriage on the throne
>his writings were so dry and boring and technical that they're pretty much the only works by an emperor that people didn't give a shit about
>christian monks never bothered copying them either and every copy was just left to rot wherever it was stored
>today, we know next to nothing about Etruscan history and struggle to decipher their language
We know a fair bit about the Etruscans and their language isn't a mystery - we're just lacking a vocabulary. But, yes, it is a shame Claudius's works are lost, especially as, supposedly a fluent speaker, such would give us a major corpus to pull from.
>We know a fair bit about the Etruscans and their language isn't a mystery
We know a fair bit about their dealings with the Romans and while we have deciphered a fair few words and names of gods in Etruscan which allows us to figure out what they're saying more often than not, we still don't really know the language. Nobody could tell you how one answered a direct yes or no question in the Etruscan language, for instance.
He got a decent tv show though.
Domitian
The patrician's choice. He was a visionary.
can someone give me a qrd on every emperor, or at least every emperor you know?
Unironically, unbiased history.
i meant more one line greentexts
i only know augustus the founder and aurelius the stoic chadcuck
Sure, I read The Twelve Caesars and studied Latin for a while
Julius Caesar
>nice mafia guy that everyone likes
Augustus
>less nice mafia guy, but he did a lot of public works and started emperor worship so he was beloved posthumously at least
Tiberius
>rich fat fuck who reeeeeealy didn't want to be emperor forced to be one anyway, """""rules""""" from a scenic isle where he diddles kids
Caligula
>first few years were amazing, then he descends into insanity and nearly ruins the empire with his cruelty
Claudius
>your quiet uncle who makes six figures if he became emperor
Nero
>chaotic evil Elton John
Galba
>boomer fuck, reigned under a year
Otho
>paranoid fuck, reigned under a year because he offed himself
Vitellius
>fat fuck (fatter than Tiberius), reigned under a year
Vespasian
>one of the best emperors of all time, benevolent, life-affirming, brought stability
Titus
>continued in Vespasian's footsteps for two entire years until he died prematurely
Domitian
>an authoritarian narcissist who nobody liked
Thanks a lot.
If you can Stand children singing
Augustus
>Easily a contender for greatest emperor, being the first and instigating the roman peace, latter life post 27bc is just saddening
Tiberius
>Absolute lad who hated the senators with a fucking passion, near as good a general as his brother Drusus, you hear a lot of shit about his island but most if not all is propaganda, him and his adopted father Augustus had an odd relationship
Caligula
> A great emperor in the early years, did many great architectural works on Rome, like draining the Tiber or some shit i cant remember, then he got a flu and went mad, also fucked his 3 sisters Drusilla,Livia and Agrippina, which I must say was quite based
Claudius
>Actual retard, probably browsed the Romanum Fourchannum
Nero
>Liked his mum a little bit, early years under the regency of her were quite prosperous, started down the spiral of intense homosexualry as many emperors did and that ruined him
Galba, Otho and Vittelius
>Galba was a respected general, otho and vittelius were a homosexual and a fat cunt respectively
Vespasian
>Won the year of the four emperors, didn't do much bar balance the economy and so
Titus
>Hated israelites with a passion, fucked them up for a solid time, good emperor but didn't rule for long
Domitian
>Many will say he's either a tyrant or the best emperor since Tiberius, fucking total war player nethertheless
Nerva
>Just an old man, first of the five good emperors
Trajan
>Optimus Princeps, expanded the empire to it's greatest extent, took a piss on a ziggurat, fucked up dacia and parthia beyond all repair
Hadrian
>Immensely homosexual, having a fondness for twinks and pan-hellenism, either way he did cause the israeli diaspora and is thus a great emperor
Antonius Pius
>Nothing much eventful, was just there to raise the heirs
Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Verus
>Absolute kino dichotomy between the two, being of two wildly different philosophical spectrums, Aurelius was a homosexual though
From here on out just gonna name the important ones
Commudus
>Pretty big sped who thought he was tough, must will argue he caused the decline
Severus
>pretty based despite being from africa, didn't like the senate much at all, a common trait in emperors now on
Caracella
>An absolute archetypal nigga, massacred Alexandria, killed his brother, and granted every pleb in the realm patrician status and last names
Elagabalus
>The original trannie, absolute degenerate, but was also a patron of the sun god, Sol
Alexander Severus
>Mothers boy, sped by himself
Early crisis
>A plethora of divisive emperors that rotate between trying to save the empire and actively destroying it, an all around tragic time, resulting in France/Britain and for a small time Spain breaking off into the Gallic empire and the eastern provinces into the Palmyric Empire
Aurelian
>Named Restitutor Orbis by the senate, in 5 years he restored the empires borders completely, bar abandoning dacia as it was more bane then benefit, worked towards fixing the economy before his death
Ulpia Aurelia
>Only women to ever fully rule ancient rome, was by all means as great as her husband
Diocletian
>Fucking retard who disbanded the legions in place of levies, introduced serfdom, set economy, and the tetrachy, a system of 4 emperors (Two Augusti, Two Caesars)
Constantius I
>Friend of Diocletian and Aurelian and a tetrach, spent most of his reign in bongland
Constantine I the Great
>Destroyed the Tetrachy, becoming sole ruler of rome, fond of christianity, oversaw the councils of Nicea and Calcendonia, setting the foundation of the catholic/Orthodox Churchs, his mother helena found the cross of christ and founded the church of the holy sepulchre, he issued the edict of milan which allowed christians to worship free of prosecution
Constantius II,
>Constantius II was absolutely based, massacring the other princes of the dynasty so no power struggles would return see picrel
>Fucking retard who disbanded the legions
What?
I didn't mean disband I meant replaced them with a highly shittier version, practically levies
>>Only women to ever fully rule ancient rome
She didn't actually rule. The period was considered an interregnum.
retard who disbanded the legions in place of levies
No he didn't. The Roman field army still existed well into the 450's in Illyria in the West. He introduced Conscription.
>introduced serfdom
No he didn't. The problem of the tenant farmer had existed since the Republic, during the third century it had became such a massive tax evasion that Diocletian would either recognize it legally in order to tax it or let it be. There really wasn't much of a choice for the state.
>She didn't actually rule. The period was considered an interregnum.
fully wasn't the right word but nevertheless she still ruled far more then Agrippina, about the same level if not a little higher then theodora
>No he didn't. The Roman field army still existed well into the 450's in Illyria in the West. He introduced Conscription
see
and he also introduced far far more then conscription
>No he didn't. The problem of the tenant farmer had existed since the Republic, during the third century it had became such a massive tax evasion that Diocletian would either recognize it legally in order to tax it or let it be. There really wasn't much of a choice for the state
But he did introduce the son inheriting the fathers profession by law
>No he didn't. The problem of the tenant farmer had existed since the Republic, during the third century it had became such a massive tax evasion that Diocletian would either recognize it legally in order to tax it or let it be. There really wasn't much of a choice for the state
whether he had a choice or not doesn't change that he introduced it, through a bunch of reforms he tied tenants to their land, made them inherit their fathers profession, and taxed them to the local governor, literally serfdom
>Commudus
big sped who thought he was tough, must will argue he caused the decline
He was an idiot, but the slander against him was just the usual shit you hear about emperors that the senate hated. They hated him for one reason and one reason only: he made peace with the germans instead of taking all their land. This land would have been worthless swampy forests at the time and virtually impossible to defend, but more provinces = more governorships = more senators getting cushy jobs where they can rake in cash and Commodus denied them that.
>h-he bankrupted rome with games!
He never even touched the festival schedule - his father was the one who added a bunch of games to the calendar and that was because the antonine plague was decimating everyone. Ironically, the philosopher emperor Marcus Aurelius was the one who decided to just placate the underclasses with bread and circuses. The treasury was already bleeding, and the chickens just happened to come home to roost during Commodus' reign.
Yeah he was a giant gladiator nerd and participated in probably rigged fights but as far as we know everyone knew these were just silly spectacle bouts with the emperor dressed as hercules and nobody died, he wasn't just murdering famous gladiators for fun.
>Yeah he was a giant gladiator nerd and participated in probably rigged fights
why I said he thought he was tough
Also I don't believe he caused the decline either, the only two legitimate answers to that is marcus aurelius or the crisis itself, anyone who says Constantine is a homosexual pagan larper
Pacifying and integrating Germania would have pushed the frontier east, from the Rhine to the Elbe, shortening the frontier by hundreds of miles and eliminating the no man’s land that formed between the Rhine and Danube legionary camps where marauders could infiltrate and raid with relative impunity. A shorter frontier would have been not only significantly easier and cheaper to defend, but both legionary camps would have been close enough to provide overwatch against potential usurpers. Furthermore, giving Germanics a pathway to citizenship would have ingrained in them a tradition of fighting for the state rather than tribe, and potentially made the 5th century a repeat of the 3rd century, but with Germanics breathing new life into the system like the Illyrians did, rather than partitioning it among tribes. The army was pissed at all that blood and treasure was going to waste and Commodus placated them by jacking up their salaries to unsustainable levels.
Also, Marcus Aurelius hated the games and tried (unsuccessfully) to get Romans interested in Lusiones—mock battles without bloodshed. He spent almost all of his reign in a military camp while Lucius Verus handled domestic affairs.
Commodus’s tragedy was inheriting the emperorship at a young age, without a co-emperor he could trust, and without a senior Emperor like Antoninus Pius gradually easing him into trappings of power. Senators hated Commodus because he’d rather be playing Hercules in the arena than actually running his empire
>Pacifying and integrating Germania would have pushed the frontier east, from the Rhine to the Elbe, shortening the frontier by hundreds of miles and eliminating the no man’s land that formed between the Rhine and Danube legionary camps where marauders could infiltrate and raid with relative impunity
ALL of that land was miserable barbarian woods. It would have just added to the amount of no man's land where marauders could strike with impunity.
By the end of Aurelius’s reign, Germanics were devastated bordering on genocided, all that was left was to consolidate. Romans would have built road networks and the first cities would have started as military camps stationed on the Elbe. All of that freshly won land would have gone to colonists who would have developed the infrastructure from the ground up, just like they did in Britannia. Germanics would have become citizens over time like the Gauls and Illyrians. The no-man’s land existed only where the military couldn’t easily exert power, but could crush threats in their backyard. Steppe migrants trying to pierce the frontier would have encountered miles of Germanic forests rather than anything worth ravaging
>By the end of Aurelius’s reign, Germanics were devastated bordering on genocided
Did you see this in a dream?
In all honesty the hypothetical provinces of Marcomania and Iazygia would have been likely overrun in the 250' and 60' along with Dacia. As another anon pointed out it was beyond any good defensible borders.
This, Commodus was mediocre at best but really he didn't endanger the empire like some of his successors
>Caligula
>Marcus Aurelius
Not a leftist
>Elagabalus
Honorless degeneracy is authleft
>Justinian
Romanian, not Roman
>Caligula
Caligula is libertarian when Napoleon is communist
Read this collection to get you started lad. The Twelve Ceasers, and thd five good emperors will fill the gap prior.
I'm torn between Antoninus Pius and Marcus Aurelius for being both good rulers and good men
I like Justinian II because he was driven by nothing but spite and ambition after he got exiled. It's also cool how he larped as his namesake by christening his Khazar wife as Theodora.
Vespasian obviously
but money does stink.
Severely underrated pisses me off
the roman empire was gay and gr**koid SHIT.
>rape little boys
SHIT
>do gay art related crap
SHIT
>do gay abstract math
SHIT
IT'S ALL
SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT
The only uniquely Roman element of Roman civilisation were its militaristic barbarism. All the "high culture" was imported from Greece.
Or the Republic yknow the thing which only the Romans had
Aurelian
Julian
Alexis Komnenos
Trajan
Diocletian otherwise Valens and Marcus Aurelius
Majorian
Chaddicus Maximus Gallienus
"Yeah guys Tiberius totally raped kids just trust me, also Nero fucked his mother believe me dude"
Caracalla
Augustus followed by Septimius Severus
Every one of them is special.
Augustus is the objective best, so the real question should be who is the SECOND best?
You say don't say Tiberius, I say he has a lot of merit. Didn't want to do this shit but still consolidated Augustus legacy. Tiberius is the reason the roman empire was what it was and not like the macedonian successor kingdoms.
My personal favourite though is Gallienus. Did his best against overwhelming odds and was decent at it. Truly a tragic guy
I'm quite fond of Vespasian, Marcus Aurelius, Augustus, as well as Justinian, if we're counting Emperors after the fall of the West, along with Constantine XI and Basil II.
Honorius for helping bring it to an end. Rome was a cancer on the Mediterranean.
Constantine
Mehmet II
Heraclius
Romulus because he led the beta uprising
Augustus.
Vespasian