My grandmother passed away yesterday quite suddenly, and I'm left trying to figure what I should do with these emotions. I'm just kind of smouldering with regret and profound loneliness.
How do I direct this emotion to something worthwhile? It seems to suck the life out of me. Though I feel I'm getting a better understanding of tragedy.
it's okay to just be sad. it's necessary and healthy, and you shouldn't try to repress it, but just distracting yourself is the best if you feel overwhelmed in the moment.
>but just distracting yourself
retard
that's a legitimate psychological strategy, recommended by psychologists, you massive dipshit.
No it's not
yes it is. ask me how I know.
If you've worked yourself into a schedule of writing you should keep to it, and that inspiration will come
My grandma is still alive but god knows for how long. She's been sick lately and actually I should call her now. Best of luck to you fren
By all accounts, it was relatively comfortable. Cardiac arrest at night, in her own home. No hospice like my grandpa, she was relatively healthy (as a 93 year old could be) and never needed a walker or cane or wheelchair.
But besides the shock of seeing the body, and the surreal reality that I will never speak to her again, I also have this unbelievably heavy feeling that I didn't spend enough time with her. I probably spent more time with her then most people spend with their grandparents, seeing her ~2 times a week, but I have no way of making a proper objective observation on it in my current, addled state of mind.
So yeah. Call her and spend some time with her if you can
>By all accounts, it was relatively comfortable. Cardiac arrest at night, in her own home. No hospice like my grandpa, she was relatively healthy (as a 93 year old could be) and never needed a walker or cane or wheelchair.
Nta but anon but you should be relieved.
Death isn't the worst thing. She died one of best natural death possible. What else you would've wished for? Suffering for years rather than a quick death just so that she could remain alive for few more years?
Intially grief is a natural part. But don't feel bad about her. She is in better place. And anon regret is here to stay. No one can catch the lost time and it slips out of your hands right in from of you no matter how much you try to hold it. That's not in your control. Same time will heal you.
Yeah, and I am.
It's just, damn. One second she's there next second she's gone. She was going strong enough that we thought she could really make it to 100.
Frankly, in hindsight, at her age one of those "do not resuscitate" tags on her DL would have been prudent. But, you know, hindsight. Didn't even know those existed until a little while ago
I do think I really could have spent more time with her, time spent doing other, more worthless things. But I also guess I'm wiser for it now
The pain will fade with time. It hurts the most the first few days after the person dies.
Idk man I never even felt grief when my mother died.
I knew it was a sad moment, but I couldn't force myself to feel anything. The Stranger really covered this feel quite well.
wrong board.
this is a board for literature.
And philosophy
You could try writing a poem about her and your feelings about her death
No refunds.
Who are the best philosophers to read on the subject of death and grief?
One of my close friends offed himself at the beginning of this year. The pain felt literally felt like a knife cutting at your heart. Best ways to deal with it are subjective but these helped me the most:
1. Talk to people that care about you and try to describe your feelings (alternatively you can write them down). Ask people who have experienced similar grief for tips on how to handle it. This is important to not repress your feeling and memories of it entirely. It is important to let yourself be sad, but not be entirely alone and quiet about it.
2. Distract yourself like another anon said already. The pain can become overwhelming, and instead of sitting still just sinking into depression and despair is not smart. Physical activity is the best. Go for a run. Go to the gym. Sign up for boxing classes. Social events with close friends can work too. Reading consoling books. Hobbies, writing etc.
3. Remind yourself that time heals grief. The pain hurts the most when the wound is fresh. You won't feel like this forever.