LULZ / TV & Film

What would zoomer Columbo be like

What would zoomer Columbo be like

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >the suspect is deadass guilty af, he's about to confess fr fr, just give me two more weeks

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >it’s just funny how people are different you know. When I say something, I ens my saying 'no cap'

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Are crime procedurals still being made?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      yeah there's at least half a dozen law and orders on tv now

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >on tv
        Nobody but old people watches TV nowadays. I ditched it 6 years ago myself. It's a shame that internet has turned into an even bigger propaganda cesspit lately. It was great back when TV was their main focus and everyone pirated movies. Now Netflix, Amazon etc are just as bad but they're even more powerful and subversive because they feed on your cookies.

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    he wouldn't have the attention span to solve anything

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Kramer?

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Well, he wouldn't smoke cigars, since zoomers think tobacco is evil for some odd reason.
    He also wouldn't be married, because only boomers, and other old people got married.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >zoomers think tobacco is evil for some odd reason
      Based zoomers. Enjoy your cancer asshole.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Hormone therapy probably does more damage, homosexual.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      When zoomers had guys like this show up at their school they thought they were cool

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >rips vape
      Ya know, fr fr I deadass think you aren’t on God 100% when you tell me that no cap. In fact…
      >rips vape again, sticks it back into his permed hair for later
      In fact, no cap, this only fans model I gave $50 to this morning has this idea you see…

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    He would just arrest the guy he's politically opposed to and the DA would railroad them. Anytime he's required to put his own life in danger to protect a civilian he refuses and pretends like he didn't know what was going on. Also he's deathly afraid of his own service weapon and keeps it unloaded and in his glove box.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Columbo never kept his weapon to begin with

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Aye yo! Finna ax you one mo thing, like for real. Know what I'm sayin? Like, for real, you gotta be, like, the dead ass killer, know what I'm saying? Like for real, dat really be you tho. Like, for real.

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >the mango vape? Ah yes, that shit is bussin respectfully, sir. No cap. My mommy gf doesn’t allow it in our apartment, though, she’s trying to quit, you see, so I always have to get a hit from the boys. Do you mind?
    *inhale*
    >fuckin fire, sir. Well, I should dip and leave you to the grind.
    >oh wait, just one more thing. I thought you’d find this interesting. You see, when they found the guy his shit was all fucked up, but there wasn’t any evidence. The only thing they found at the scene was an empty mango cartridge in the trash. If I’m being deadass with you, sir, you’re starting to seem a bit sussy

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      DEADASS

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Hello fellow kids personified in an attempt at shit posting a green text. It's like you guys read what other fogies type trying to sound like a zoomer kek.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        thatsthejoke.bmp

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          you would think anon, it's just not as funny when it's the same regurgitated "fr fr this is bussin no cap". put some elbow grease into it.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            But that is exactly what that post you loathed was.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >It's not that deep, detective. May I suggest you touch some grass?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      only thing that I'd change
      >hol' up, just one more thing

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    For starter a different name because Columbo is problematic

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    he'd be too retarded to solve crimes

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >*hits vape*
    >"Just one more thing. I'm finding it a bit sus that you're deadass, no cap, claiming you got no vibes with the victim when you clearly had mad emoshes with them in your Snap stories. Fr, fr, you two were dabbing eachother up on tiktok every other day."

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      That's actually good.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Boring, repeditive, formulaic, tedious, lacking any sort of value at all.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      so basically Mrs. Columbo?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        wtf is that?

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    Yes anon. Zoomer culture is just black culture but ten times more vapid

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Zoomer culture is just black culture but ten times more vapid
      What a terrifying thought.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It's less true for euro zoomers, though they're sadly catching up. Can't wait for the US to just die already tbqhf.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          its already spread too far with eurozoomers. i hate dutch zoomers so much

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            I live in Finland and can confirm this. I see more and more broccoli-headed kids every day. The influence of American media is very difficult to resist, especially when parents don’t give a shit what their kids are doing.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              A little violin is playing to accompany your tragedy

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              now its a homegrown strain. i can only imagine whats coming next

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    is that kramer

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    fr fr

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Like a millennial Columbo just less gay.

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    terrible

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >ayo sus you sussy b no cap fr in the bezizy i figure it yo bae but then im like nah bae to fine to merk a trick ya feel.

    amoungus music plays

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    How about original Columbo solving zoomer crimes instead? What a quintessential zoomer crime be like?

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Gotta go. Cap! I actually gotta shoot more shit wit' you, fr fr

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Clueless

  23. 1 week ago
    scp foundation- mr. bruh (state: euclid)

    Golumbo??

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >sheesh, one more q my good slime, how tf did dat bitch peel her cap, nahameen fr

  25. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >You see... the entity im looking for had a gaited walk and no harm upon your personage ZE ZIR but you match the decription from a Zoetic witness
    >'I have no clue what you mean Ms Columbia'
    >Of course you're right, my suspect has a gaited walk from what looks like a major surgery on their pelvic section and that pickled penis in a jar on your mantelpiece is merely a token of a manhood you never had

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