What should I do if I'm a girl but I never had any positive female role models? Single dad, no sisters or girl friends. I've got some guy friends but I think some of them just want to fuck me.
What should I do if I'm a girl but I never had any positive female role models?
>What should I do if I'm a girl but I never had any positive female role models?
Depends. Do you want a positive female role model?
Because if you want a positive female role model, then go with Princess Peach for the most bargain bin default choice for a personality to emulate: She's optimistic, accomplished, and has friends.
Not a good fit for your personality? Cool, google for "Which character fits my personality?" and go from there. Emulate whichever character ends up being a more capable version of yourself.
Do you just want to obsess and LOOOOP about your lack of role model, be neurotic and blame your circumstance?
If so, welcome to /adv/, your problems are of your own making.
>then go with Princess Peach
Doesn't she get kidnapped all the time?
Correct. Does not stop her from being herself. Contrast with, say, TLoU Ellie or Lara Croft from the reboot, who do get tilted by it.
>Which character fits my personality
>Use the slider to indicate where you fall on this spectrum
>masculine, feminine
FUCK
I got Nick Carraway from The Great Gatsby. I don't know how I feel about that.
Cool.
I loled. A girl having masculine traits isn't necessarily a bad thing.
1. Identify what you want out of life and what is important to you and the world
2. Identify people who have done what you think is important and use them as a role model
Post hand with timestamp then tell us a bit about your life
Don't wanna.
Make yourself a role model
Genuinely actually good advice
Indeed. Be the change that you want to see in the world.
>I've got some guy friends but I think some of them just want to fuck me.
>some of them
Probably all not gonna lie
nta but I mean, yeh, sometimes I think ab out that kinda thing in a "what if" kinda way but realize that the only way they might actually happen is if she got really drunk or something, and then our relationship would just get awkward.
I also grew up with a single dad, and was mostly friends with boys until I was 25. Had 2 female friends in school, but they were as autistic as I am. The most important advice I can give you is: make female friends asap; and if you don't feel comfortable doing so for whatever reason, try chatting with the women in classes and at events, so you get used to them. Female solidarity is important, and in the end, no matter how nice and cool a guy is, he'll want to bang you if you hang out with him too much.
Second, stay away from "femininity" advice online. No matter what they tell you, femininity is 70% looks and 30% body language (ballet really helps with that). Trying to be passive, meek, and domestic so you can finally be a proper woman (or get with a hot strong guy) will just hurt you in the long run.
Third, realize than men and women aren't inherently all that different, and there is no divide between you and other women. Many women believe they are "different" and "not like other women", because they think if they set themselves apart, men will finally respect them as equals. They won't, and people who are much more intelligent than I am have written long books about it. Not living up to feminine ideals is a common experience, which is why it's such a common plot point in (teenage) movies.
Taking male role models is fine, and there are women who are pretty much like the guys you're used to, you just have to find them. Fictional role models are fine too. Some female presence in your life would be especially helpful. Either way don't overthink it, you're going to be fine.
>Female solidarity is important,
Yes! Only women cared when I was abused. Even ones I'd ever even met. My male "friends" didn't give a shit.
>My male "friends" didn't give a shit
You're right. when they knew they considered you a whore and wanted it and we're encouraged you would fuck them easily
take your meds
I don't take meds or drink or any drugs. I just know how guys are
>I don't take meds
obviously. change that.
Sucks that happened but maybe you should talk to a therapist instead of a man about that kind of thing.
Of course I talked to a therapist too.
>and in the end, no matter how nice and cool a guy is, he'll want to bang you if you hang out with him too much.
What's wrong with that? Shit, same thing happens in reverse too
If a guy and a girl are such good friends and they're both single, then why wouldn't they fuck?
>Second, stay away from "femininity" advice online
Here's some advice for y'all fuckers:
Femininity and masculinity aren't real. They're made up. They're just in your fucking head. This is obvious because no one can even agree on what the fuck those words MEAN (because they don't mean anything)
Don't try to be masculine or feminine, people who do that are just annoying and fake as fuck. This goofy bitch here saying "femininity is 70% looks and 30% body language. You should do ballet :^)" is retarded. Like great, and I guess masculinity is 50% monster trucks and 50% barbed wire tattoos then, right? Fuckin ballet, fuckin body language, how fucking retarded is that? You wanna know the most "feminine" thing you can do? HAVE A CUNT
>Many women believe they are "different" and "not like other women", because they think if they set themselves apart, men will finally respect them as equals. They won't
Yes they will. Of fucking course they will. Be yourself, for the love of god. No one likes a phony ass fake ass homosexual ass bitch
>and people who are much more intelligent than I am have written long books about it.
AKA "I can't explain the nonsense I just spouted"
This some real goofy, cult-like shit going on in this post. "Be like us.. you will never succeed if you aren't like us.. Female solidarity is important! Join us.. Be miserable with the rest of us. You don't need to think for yourself, just join us and we will think for you"
>This some real goofy, cult-like shit going on in this post
That's the default female mentality.
>Not living up to feminine ideals is a common experience, which is why it's such a common plot point in (teenage) movies
funny thing is females can get away with almost anything, compared to males, but they tend to be wired in such a way that they care more about what others think
It's just the female socialization experience. If someone raised a biological female as a boy and everyone treated her like a man, she would likely care less about what others think and be more selfish like a man.
Uhh I think you mean LESS selfish like a man. Caring too much about what other people think is something a selfish person does, not a selfless person
>a man
>LESS selfish
7/10 bait
Okay, it's not about man or woman, it's about caring too much about what other people think
>I never had any positive female role models
Not even Caitlyn Jenner?
I don't really have answers, but good luck OP! I also had a single dad and no female role models. I do have a sister, but she's even weirder than me and has no friends either, so having her doesn't really help me relate to other women I meet.
It's not like I want le respect from men, I don't have or want male friends. But, I feel like interacting with women is such a minefield, they often seem to dislike me for no reason even if I'm nice to the point of almost being a doormat. I just want to be liked by other women 🙁
As women come to consider being prized by men their ultimate source of strength, worth, achievement and identity, they are compelled to battle other women for the prize.
I have a relationship already so I don't really care about duking it out with other women for the biggest chad, or anything like that lol.
I just feel like I have difficulties befriending women even if I try my best, Idk how to fix that.
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean they don't see you as a threat.
I don't think every woman sees me as a threat, you sound like a man. And don't you think it's unusual for a woman to have no female friends? I'm the weird one here ngl.
Maybe that was too stong a word. Competition. Where'd that whole "I'm not like the other girls" thing come from? No, I think that's a fairly usual thing to happen after a certain age.
But I'm 22 and I haven't had any friends since middle school lol. It might across like "not like the other girls", but this is my situation: interacting with men does feel easier, but I also don't want male friends, I avoid actually befriending any men I talk to. interacting with women is harder and they get mad at me sometimes, but I want female friends.
Idk what to do to become more likeable to women. Most women my age are very likeable to other women and they have lots of close friends, but I've failed in that regard.
>I see myself as someone who isn't likeable to women
Do you act different around women than you do around men?
>And don't you think it's unusual for a woman to have no female friends? I'm the weird one here ngl.
No, it's not that unusual, you hear women say the same thing all the god damn time. It doesn't really matter if your friends are men or women, not necessarily at least. Maybe you work with all men, and you don't get out much besides work, therefore all your friends are dudes, what the fuck do you expect?
So why do you find it hard to make friends with women but not men?
I mentioned here
how a lot of women my age are very likeable to other women, do you have any advice on how I can become like that? I see myself as someone who isn't likeable to women. Partly because I don't have good social skills, even if I try.
You don't go along with the crowd?
yeah, I don't make friends easily. obviously interacting with men is easier though because I assume that men make it easy for women. but I also tend to share more interests with men, even if this might also sound very "not like the other girls". I mean interests like black metal, lotr, video games, etc. I also see myself as a pessimistic person, maybe that doesn't help. I'm very into politics and history too. just giving some context.
I think I'm a bit more careful around women. I notice that I tend to stick to small talk and never go into deeper topics (my own fault) because for some reason I'm scared that I'll be perceived as weird. If I'm talking to a man I usually don't care at all if I'm seen as weird or unhinged.
person
Yes, this is generally unattractive. Be a realistic. Keep your expectations low, but then you're never disappointed and surprised a lot more often.
yeah, if it's about personal experiences, I typically just force myself to say positive things. but if the topic turns into society as a whole, I can't help but be pessimistic.
>I think I'm a bit more careful around women. I notice that I tend to stick to small talk and never go into deeper topics (my own fault) because for some reason I'm scared that I'll be perceived as weird. If I'm talking to a man I usually don't care at all if I'm seen as weird or unhinged.
And there's your problem. Welp, problem solved, what's next?
before when I did that, usually I just got silence in response, so I learned to not talk about my interests or "deeper topics" in this context.
You learned wrong. Just act the same with them as you do with guys
I do try that occasionally, but it still feels like there's a barrier there. now I might just be failing at acting "naturally" around other women, but a part of me also feels like every other women sees me like this: "I already have tons of friends, why would I need this loser". meanwhile I'm there desperately trying to make friends since I have none.
so basically it feels like other women already have friends, and they can sense my desperation. but I'm not okay with not having friends, so how can I not be desperate?
>feels like every other women sees me like this: "I already have tons of friends, why would I need this loser". meanwhile I'm there desperately trying to make friends since I have none.
Yeah that part is in your head. The reality is they probably don't know how to talk about anything real either, because.. well that's how y'all goofy bitches are to each other. So you just carry on keeping it real with them, just like you do with guys, and maybe you'll eventually get through to them. If your interests are met with silence, so what? They're still you're fucking interests. Maybe one day one of these bitches will finally say "so what is that black metal you always talk about? Is that like Metallica or something?" and then y'all will have a whole great time together after that, paint each other's faces and shit, oh what fun
maybe yeah, I'm just a bit bitter about this since I haven't had friends since middle school. spending all of HS and years after it completely alone did a number on me via an inferiority complex even if I didn't care about this before. guess I just have to keep trying, there's no magic solution for me to become suddenly likeable to women.
You seem extremely naive.
Here’s one
get a raw BBC, become a single mom, be your own role model
>but I think some of them just want to fuck me
>some
kek she doesn't know
how's the relationship with dad? me, i would like a girl with a lil masculine backbone.