What did i do?

I kinda like this guy. I have forever. At some points I think he likes me back then he sends me the other direction. I just blush thinking about him. I'm afraid to tell him though because he's kinda my cousin. I know weird. But he has this smile and this sent that its so amazing you can't explain.

I tried liking other guys but there's just something about him. His eyes, his personality, his attitude. Every thing about him is so appealing. Sometimes i cry when i think about him or blush or giggle. I keep telling myself that someday he'll like me back or he does right now, but what it's not true.

We used to be so close then he just stopped talking to me. Now he started to again, but what if that don't last. Why am I such a retard to fall for him. I makes me so depressed. What did I do to myself?

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