Let’s face it: Being discreet during a hookup can be really tough. Since they almost always happen at the last minute and you’re so caught up in the heat of the moment, the last thing you’re thinking about is whether or not you’ll actually get caught.
And who can blame you? I mean, it’s kind of hard to focus on anything else when you’re hooking up besides the person attached to your mouth. And sometimes, you’re so into it that you stop caring if anyone finds you.
However, while I totally get that hookups are fun and thrilling, I also know that they can quickly turn into a humiliating disaster if you’re not careful about privacy. Getting caught in the middle of the act is never fun, and it’s even worse for the people who walk in on the act, because seeing something that inappropriate could pretty much scar them for life.
So to spare everyone the embarrassment, there are some rules you should know about how to hook up without getting caught. Check out these 11 unofficial rules for how to be sneaky during a hookup.
#1. Come up with a secret signal
The idea is to not make it look obvious that you really want to hook up, or that you plan to do so. To avoid causing suspicion, come up with a subtle signal (like tugging your ear or scratching your nose) to let each other know that you really want to hook up.
#2. Space out the time between when you and your partner get to the hookup spot
This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to leave together and not get caught hooking up. However, if both of you are hanging out with a large group of people and you’re spotted leaving together, then chances are people will get curious. They’ll easily figure out what it is you guys are really up to.
#3. Wear neutral colors that won’t stand out from miles away
This sneaky move will come in handy if you’re hooking up in a more public spot. You don’t want to be easily noticed from miles away or draw unwanted attention, so wear something that doesn’t make you stand out like a sore thumb.
#4. Ditch the loud accessories
One of the keys to being discreet is staying quiet, so if you wear a lot of bracelets and necklaces that clang loudly when you move, you’ll only draw more attention to yourself and increase your chances of getting caught.
#5. Wear clothes that are easy to slip on and off
If you’re really short on time, fumbling with clothes that are hard to come off will get you frustrated or, even worse, kill the mood. So even though this usually depends on the location, it’s best to wear something that’s not too complicated to get off. Keep in mind that taking a lot of extra time will increase your chances of getting caught.
#6. Change things up a little
You’re probably thinking that it’s best to have one go-to spot for your hookups, but think of it this way: The more you switch it up and change locations, the less likely you are to actually get caught.
#7. Be as quiet as possible
If you struggle with keeping quiet during sex, try figure out a way to stifle the sounds, even if that means grabbing at random objects or digging your nails into something nearby. Remember, you don’t want to draw more attention. And plus, quiet sex can actually be fun!
#8. If you’re somewhere more private, like in your room, play music to mask the sounds
Don’t be afraid to lock your door and crank up the volume when you’re going at it. People will just think that you’re jamming out to some of your favorite songs.
#9. If you’re in a public place, try to make it quick
Timing is key, especially if you’re in a more public setting or if there are other people nearby. So instead of your usual hookup, consider turning it into a quickie.
#10. If you’re hooking up in a car, make sure you’re parked somewhere private
And by private I don’t mean in the parking lot of a movie theater where your friends go all the time. Chose a private place that’s not too popular and make sure there aren’t people around.
#11. Avoid loud or squeaky furniture
People are bound to get suspicious if they hear a desk or chair squeaking at a steady rhythm. Stay away from any furniture that creaks at the slightest move.
Have you done any of these things during a hookup before? Which of these rules surprised you the most? Tell us in the comments below!