I literally come from my work to an empty apartment every night. This is probably the most interaction I have with anyone outside of my job. I can't make friends or find a girlfriend because I'm an ugly misfit. I don't really know how long I can carry on like this.
Physical affection is key to well-being. Health pandemics and social stratas have been designed to prevent physical affection.
Go to Jehovah's witnesses
Gonna say the usual thing, if you wanna meet people socialize and find friends, join group hobby activites or whatever. It's hard if you've been alone for a while but as far as i see it is one of the only ways if you're truly all alone.
Killing yourself is not worth it, there's a lot to see and do in life, just don't dwell in your apartment all the time
Not OP.
Being alone isn't just about having people around you. It's about feeling comfortable, belonging, the experience of joy from seeing others. Sometimes people have hang-ups that get intensified when reaching out backfires, and is just the beginning of another downward spiral.
Okay, i get it, but what is your advice then? Keep being lonely like OP described?
If you dont wanna dwell in your loneliness, either get a pet, or meet people, or accept your life as it is which probably won't happen
The truth is, you accept your lane and wait until life has the mercy to stop. I know it's not what *anyone* wants to hear, but it fucking sucks trying to change this and it always being unfruitful.
I doubt life will stop doing what it's doing if OP does nothin except work and go stay at home all by himself, but i get your point in any case.
>I doubt life will stop doing what it's doing if OP does nothin except work and go stay at home all by himself, but i get your point in any case.
I don't think you do get it - if life isn't going to stop, then why fight it? Fighting it makes it even more torturous tbh.
>If my life is shit, why try to change it? Its gonna be shit anyways
Thats what i used to tell myself, and if i kept doing that, i would still be a fat virgin living with his mom
Yeah, life can kick you and hold you down, but doesnt mean you just have to accept it and wait until it magically changes.
I understand its really hard and demoralizing when you do try and nothing works, but just have to keep trying, or have a nice day, whatever works for you
Here's the difference:
You can be the last choice for a job, and still land the job.
You can't force yourself to be someone's first choice.
>you accept your lane
No one has a "lane." This is some retarded pop Stoicism take, a form of resignation from a reluctant and cowardly will. You create the world around you, not the other way around; if your world is depressing and lonely, you are the one who made it that way, and you will be the one to keep it that way or change it for the better (or worse).
>tries to refute stoicism with solipsism
Please stop.
That's not solipsism. Solipsism is the notion that the world doesn't exist, when clearly I am saying that it does, but that you are its creator.
You're really trying to split hairs. Do you need to be right that badly? Fine, you're right. Are we done with this retarded back and forth?
Fuck me someone bring me a shotgun and I'll go on a lead diet.
Shut the fuck up already, brainlet.
I guess there's solace in not being you.
Keep wallowing in your own filth then, no skin off my back.
Will do, thanks for coming in to ego stroke.
You are a deeply sick person if you think anything here was an ego stroke on my part.
Ok, you're still doing it though. Could you stop?
Suck my dick.
You're a very fragile person. I see why you came in here to stroke your own ego now.
You're confusing fragility with wanting to swat an annoying gnat that won't piss off. You don't understand anything I wrote because you're a shallow, self-absorbed dipshit who would rather feel sorry for himself than grow a pair.
If it annoys you to be here, then leave, but you won't, because your ego won't let you.
A gnat isn't enough to make me leave a place. I'd rather kill it, being that it's so insignificant.
So you're admitting you're not here to help? Who knew.
Killing gnats is helpful.
Weird superiority complex you've got going on, calling other people gnats. I'm glad I'm not you, the only people I've seen use language like that have sincerely been schizophrenics.
>I'm glad I'm not you
And that's the problem. You're glad about not being someone else rather than about being yourself. That's why you (assuming you're OP) are in the situation that you're in, and why your world is shit. It's because you're shit.
Have you stroked your ego enough to leave yet?
Will you ever stop being a little bitch and actually pay attention to what's being said to you? Jesus fucking christ. Do you even want advice?
What advice? You've brought nothing to the table other than 'you're a gnat' and 'you create the world with your perception of it bruh eye of the beholder all that'. You've come here to jerk off over yourself, you weird, weird man.
>What advice?
The advice you've been ignoring the entire time because you're a coward, motherfucker. Your problem is entirely you and your shitty attitude.
Please seek help. You're ill in the head.
lol
Obviously you don't want advice. You just want people to pity you. Keep to your "lane" then if it really makes you feel better.
You have literally nothing to offer. The only shit you've spieled is 'it's all about perception', then called other people gnats. I don't know what you think you've done here, but I don't see how it lines up with reality. My advice was 'keep to your lane, you'll only torture yourself trying to leave it', and since then you've wanted to debate philosophy like some pseud while lauding over people. I'm not OP, your advice is just garbled nonsense. I don't think you're writing what you think you're writing.
Seek help, delusions of grandeur are a cornerstone of schizophrenia.
>The only shit you've spieled is 'it's all about perception'
Because it is. You don't have an argument against this. You shot yourself in the foot as soon as you fell back on that moronic "lane" bullshit. Way to completely ignore your own individuality and embrace a reactive, emasculate approach to living.
If you want your life to be better, you have to embrace the life of a gambler to some extent, because we're all casting our dice out on the table every moment of every day regardless. You're turning up nothing because you refuse to embrace the role you were given, instead succumbing to the view that everything is only happening to you rather than something that you are also actively causing to happen. An attitude shift genuinely makes a world of difference.
Got to "You don't have an argument against this" and stopped reading.
You're on a weird ego trip. Not interested in your posts anymore. What sort of enormous homosexuals comes into an advice thread to flaunt themselves?
>and stopped reading
Suit yourself. You're still wrong.
agreed, can relate. on one hand you have a bunch of bad experiences with people and on the other is this innate need for socialization, beingness.
I'm not trying to suggest that suicide is a good choice, but I would like to point out that everyone that says "Suicide isn't worth it" is someone who hasn't done it. How can they assess what is worth it or not without having experienced both things...?
I would sound like a fool if I told you "hey fren, I've never tried skateboarding, but trust me, it's not worth it!" How would I know?
Thing is you don't know. What if its fucking horrible after you die? Or just nothing at all?
Better not to waste what you have now cause after your gone it might be no going back and much much worse, or a shitton better.
Who knows. I'd rather find out when i naturally die, which might be tomorrow, or 30 years later.
Did you ever figure it might be horrible living? That death might actually be a bit of reprieve?
Yeah, i just wrote that if you didnt see. You dont know, and will never know until you die. So why waste a potentially much better existence right now and end it sooner? That is, if after you die its worse.
It's 50/50, so try it if you want, i wont. No matter how shit everything is or will be.
Alright, tried the living side, maybe it's time for a change. Thanks for your wise words.
I hope you wont anon, i wish you the best wherever you may be
I hope that when the time goes again for me to try, this time will be the one.
>everyone that says "Suicide isn't worth it" is someone who hasn't done it
Well the ones who did it are dead so clearly you aren't getting a good recommendation from those people either.
A lot of people who are against suicide are those who have negative experiences from witnessing or knowing of family or friends who did it. Hell I had someone close to me an hero from jumping off a hotel rooftop. My family was nearly destroyed from it.
So unless you just don't give a fuck about your family or anyone 10 times outta 10 then do whatever you want. But if you give even a slightest fuck about anyone other than yourself, then try and understand what they'd feel if they found out or witnessed you die.
>Well the ones who did it are dead so clearly you aren't getting a good recommendation from those people either.
I'd say those are the ones that got the ideal outcome.
>So unless you just don't give a fuck about your family or anyone 10 times outta 10 then do whatever you want. But if you give even a slightest fuck about anyone other than yourself, then try and understand what they'd feel if they found out or witnessed you die.
So the obligation to live is just some fucked up social blackmail system? That's not resoundingly positive.
>I'd say those are the ones that got the ideal outcome.
In your opinion, not like anyone who succeeded could tell you unless you're secretly a necromancer or can talk to dead people.
>So the obligation to live is just some fucked up social blackmail system?
Yes but its not fucked up.
Do you have any family or friends you care about? How do you think they'll feel when you're gone?
>Do you have any family or friends you care about? How do you think they'll feel when you're gone?
There'll be upset people, but I'm not sure why they'd be upset. I'm a fucking nobody.
>I'm not sure why they'd be upset. I'm a fucking nobody.
Well then that gets to the main issue. Self-esteem.
Why do you think you're a nobody? Why do you think people would see you as a nobody.
In all fairness, most people are nobodies. But yet you say you have some people who will be upset. That means they see you as somebody.
People can see some random guy get shot on the news and move on with their day. Its not the same if its someone they care about. So you saying there would be people who will be upset just shows that you aren't a nobody or a loser.
So again, why do you thing you're a nobody?
Because I've had numerous close friends and family cut ties with me, usually based on the preference of someone else. I'm late finishing school due to a myriad of illnesses, and still have a number of people happy to try to trip me up over and over again. If I'm in favour, I'm a tool for other people to use; if I'm not, I'm the jester. Every time I try to rise above that mentality, I see enough of a glimmer to know it's about to happen again, and if I'm dumb I ignore it under the specious doubt of paranoia, and if I'm smart I cut it off and regret it.
I'm a nobody.
>Because I've had numerous close friends and family cut ties with me, usually based on the preference of someone else
Could you give me an example of someone close to you cutting ties? Preference in terms of what exactly? Have you told those people how you feel.
> I'm late finishing school due to a myriad of illnesses, and still have a number of people happy to try to trip me up over and over again
What kind of illnesses? Honestly you shouldn't feel bad about taking extra time to finish school. Lots of people take longer than others and still have a successful career.
> If I'm in favour, I'm a tool for other people to use; if I'm not, I'm the jester
In what ways do you find people are using you?
>if I'm smart I cut it off and regret it.
Why do you regret it? Assuming its on good authority that you break things with someone you believe is using you. Social isolation?
I definitely understand that feeling. Honestly it seems bad at first but think about how you'd feel if you didn't move past that person. It'd just eat you up more and more.
Is there anyone close to you who you'd view as not either using you or seeing you as a joke? Why do you believe people see you as a clown?
>Could you give me an example of someone close to you cutting ties? Preference in terms of what exactly? Have you told those people how you feel.
3 'best friends' and half of my family.
>What kind of illnesses? Honestly you shouldn't feel bad about taking extra time to finish school. Lots of people take longer than others and still have a successful career.
Pernicious anaemia. Misdiagnosed brain tumour.
>In what ways do you find people are using you?
They'll want me around when there's a practical benefit. That's about it.
>Why do you regret it? Assuming its on good authority that you break things with someone you believe is using you. Social isolation?
Because I was stupid enough to convince myself that putting myself out there could lead to more etc.
>Is there anyone close to you who you'd view as not either using you or seeing you as a joke?
No.
>Why do you believe people see you as a clown?
Sometimes it's the only use they have left out of you.
>3 'best friends' and half of my family.
Give me an example of how one of them "cut ties with you."
>Pernicious anaemia. Misdiagnosed brain tumour
Ok that's well above a reasonable illness. That's not your fault dude, just keep working on it if you're happy with finishing.
>They'll want me around when there's a practical benefit
What would be an example of you being a practical benefit to them?
>I was stupid enough to convince myself that putting myself out there could lead to more
You win some you lose some unfortunately. I felt that way too about a lot of people I met in college who abandoned me. But it's not the end of the world. You just gotta keep trying to find someone whose worth the effort and appreciates you unconditionally.
>Sometimes it's the only use they have left out of you.
Would you be able to give me an example of a time when you were with someone where they treated you as a clown?
>Give me an example of how one of them "cut ties with you."
They've just, outright told me they can't be friends anymore because someone else they've taken a liking to doesn't like me. That's the hallmark of a nobody. When someone who hasn't met you supposedly dislikes you enough to demand that the mutual friend stops hanging with you, and that mutual friend listens.
>Would you be able to give me an example of a time when you were with someone where they treated you as a clown?
>Don't do something for someone
>they start to make fun of you
It's alright, I'll probably learn nothing, and try to reach out again in a few months to repeat this process. Eventually I'll find the stones to kill myself.
>they can't be friends anymore because someone else they've taken a liking to doesn't like me
And who is that person to you? Why would that person not like you to an extent that it would influence others to not want anything to do with you? Was it something you did or didn't realize you did?
>>Don't do something for someone
>>they start to make fun of you
What did they want you to do?
>And who is that person to you? Why would that person not like you to an extent that it would influence others to not want anything to do with you? Was it something you did or didn't realize you did?
Not a clue. I figured it was either that the 'other friend' was jealous, or the 'mutual friend' just didn't want to spend time with me anymore.
>What did they want you to do?
All sorts. Don't wanna pay for someone to do something? Don't wanna drive them? Don't wanna finish their work? It's whatever.
I'm a bona fide nobody, and death is a mercy I'm not yet able to have.
>All sorts. Don't wanna pay for someone to do something? Don't wanna drive them? Don't wanna finish their work? It's whatever.
Ok well then those people weren't your friends to begin with, especially if they never gave you anything back or did anything for you.
>Not a clue. I figured it was either that the 'other friend' was jealous, or the 'mutual friend' just didn't want to spend time with me anymore.
Is it a girl?
Either way I think you should at least try to find a new friend group at least and maybe reconnect with family who do give a shit about you before considering an hero'ing.
>Ok well then those people weren't your friends to begin with, especially if they never gave you anything back or did anything for you.
Of course not. You do it once or twice to be nice/courteous, and then it repeats, and when you refuse you're suddenly unfair.
>Is it a girl?
Nope.
>Either way I think you should at least try to find a new friend group at least and maybe reconnect with family who do give a shit about you before considering an hero'ing.
If I could have my way, nobody would even know I'd died. I'd just disappear into the wind.
As someone who is lonely, I find often that postive interactions with people lift my spirit up a lot. Finding just one person you click with is worth the torture.
Go to the gym
You need to stop programming yourself with that kind of thinking.
What kind of thinking is that?
If you are black ops kid tier ugly just get cosmetic surgery. One life. It really will change your life
Quit your job and go to university
You're not ugly, you just get bombared with unrealistic expectations of male looks on internet
You're most likely average and could easily get a gf if you just had a chance to socialize, and university is your chance to do that.
University gives you place to talk with people, opportunities to talk with them, things to talk about.
University is the absolute best place for you to be.
Friends, girlfriends, hookups, parties, relationships, they're all there just waiting for you to go again.
If you're willing to have a nice day, you should at least try everything before doing that because everything is better than dying. Give university another chance and see your life dramatically improve.
You can get a girlfriend
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