LULZ / TV & Film

The Sleeping Dictionary (2003)

>British officer John Truscott (Hugh Dancy) journeys to a remote village in colonial Malaysia to Westernize the local Iban population. There, he is introduced to Selima (Jessica Alba), a lovely Iban woman. In keeping with tradition, Selima is assigned to sleep with Johnand teach him the native language and customs. But when they begin to fall in love, both the colonists and the natives object to their plans to marry.

Any more colonization kino like this?

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >has sex with the MC everyday
    >people surprised that they eventually fall in love
    What?

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    i bet he ate her butt for hours each day

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      But she's the one on top.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        this is how Malaysian Albas sleep

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      this is rest time, butt eating is play time

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    wtf hugh dancy is impossibly hot in this movie

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Tell me about it.

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Kek, of course he's a virgin and of course his superior insists that he simply must! It's the local custom! He wouldn't want offend them, would he.

    And lmao, the custom they said they supposedly based it on has nothing in common with this made up bullshit:

    https://tropaws.wordpress.com/2016/01/09/ngayap-the-traditional-way-of-courtship/

    20 years ago, White men were openly writing and filming movies about their colonization fetish and nobody gave a fuck

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >20 years ago, White men were openly writing and filming movies about their colonization fetish and nobody gave a fuck
      You say that like it's a bad thing

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Never said it was. I'm just surprised at how it all changed

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks for the heads up this looks great downloading it now

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >20 years ago, White men were openly writing and filming movies about their colonization fetish and nobody gave a fuck
      anything to promote race mixing

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      yes

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    imagine such a simp you go Halfway Across the Globe and you give an easy life to the first whore you see

    lol

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Where is my assigned Jessica Alba

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Based. 18 year old Jessica Alba was probably my first boner.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      [deleted post]

      [...]
      for me it's

      Bros I've loved her since I was a kid

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        same, i first saw idle hands when i was 12

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Thanks OP

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    the perfect plot...........

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Thanks for the recommendation OP.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I saw this as my grandmothers house when I was a kid. English is my second language and I had no idea what the plot was about but Alba was hot

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Jessica Alba isn't white
    Lmao good joke

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Are you blind?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >Jessica Alba gets upset when DNA test reveals she is 87% white

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          technically she'd be a castiza and her kids white

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    jessica alba in idle hands legit transformed me into an ass man for the rest of my life

    i used to have a recurring dream where i was a prisoner of war strapped to a bed and jessica alba was a nurse there who fell in love with me and they were starving me so she would secretly push food up inside her ass and when the coast was clear she'd kneel over my face and all light and sound would become muffled as her meaty ass cheeks enveloped my face and she'd squeeze the food out of her asshole into my mouth, like shit the food into my mouth but it's not shit it's food, you see, and i'd hungrily swallow it down for survival and lick around her ass for every calorie i could get and then she'd hop off and pull her panties back up and wipe my mouth clean of any sign i'd been eating before the guards came back

    do you think this would make a good movie?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      that deep blue or whatever ocean movie with the dead guy from Fast and Furious, her ass is incredible in that, especially in that scene underwater when he grabs it

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        yeah, that was the first blu-ray i ever bought

        i don't think i ever saw the whole movie or even know the story really

        but i watched it a LOT

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    for me it's

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      anyone got a bigger webm of this..?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      no one has a bigger webm?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I'd be cupping and caressing her ass, then giggle, for another take.
      take 150

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      in the audio commentary for this scene on the dvd, they're all laughing because jessica didn't even want her ass in the shot or to be acknowledged at all and there's devon sawa grabbing a fat handful

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      i didn't realize her ass was even better in idle hands

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    jessica alba is propably the most beautiful person Ive ever seen.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Ah yes, I feel sorry for those of you who were never acquainted with her Mexican telenovela doppelganger. Surprisingly also a "never-nude" but at least in the early 00s you could see her in a bikini every night at 7PM on Univision.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        that looks nothing like her lol

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        She showed something in one of those species sequels

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    women are irrational

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I could understand if she were modest, but she's in a movie in her sexy undie. you have to be correct

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    As an actual european guy living in europe.
    Its so funny seeing you delusional mutts calling spanish people "white". They are meds.

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    kek that sounds like a sexual fantasy I would have.

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    The Bounty (1984), with Mel Gibson and Tevaite Vernette.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Can Mel really get any more based

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    [...]
    for me it's

    i didn't realize her ass was even better in idle hands

    Imagine being her son and knowing your are well off because your mom made money being coomer bait in movies.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Well i mean... have you seen some of these whores in hollywood? Heck even walking around in public with of and shit...

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    /ourguy/ tapped that

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    Based taste

  23. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    One drop rule homosexual

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      so no one on earth is white.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >no pure white people exist
        Hello, shlomo

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        there hundreds of millions of 100% Europeans, not all of witch reside in Europe.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          You know how many times our ancestors breeded with other human-like species hundreds of thousands of years ago just to get to where we are now? No one is 100% white or black or this or that. They may look like it, but you should've learnt by now that looks are deceiving. We are all the product of a hodgepodge of different people competing to make Earth theirs.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >gnomish KVETCHING
            oy vey

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >In keeping with tradition, Selima is assigned to sleep with Johnand teach him the native language and customs
    What?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I was laughing when i read that.

  25. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    [deleted post]

    >takes girl's virginity
    >breaks up her
    Literal mental illness

  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Jessica Alba played a Malaysian woman? Does she speak Malaysian? Did they tan the shit out of her with makeup? I don't understand

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      She's half coconut so that's close enough to Malay for these Hollywood types

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      She's half coconut so that's close enough to Malay for these Hollywood types

      So Jessica Alba is suppose to be some native Malaysian? What a dumb fucking movie.

      So now we're pearl clutching about how only exact race should play exact race?

  27. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    So Jessica Alba is suppose to be some native Malaysian? What a dumb fucking movie.

  28. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    my favorite little coconut

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