As humankind continues to delve deeper and deeper into the valleys and plains of my beloved Skyrim, those of us who are occasionally forced from this beautiful world must sate our battle lust with YouTubes. Thankfully, Criken knows exactly what every Dovahkiin needs when there are no dragons around to be slain. Watch as he scales mountains and trolls wagons in the name of Talos. This beautiful compilation highlights some of the more memorable glitches and oddities one may come across during their adventures.  Pay close attention– or else you too may experience death by cookery. It’s real. I swear.

Be warned that spoilers and salty language abound in this video, though if a few swears are enough to scare you away, then you probably found this site by accident. Turn back. Turn back now.

Everyone else, press freakin’ play.

Now a sports geek and cycling sportswriter.