Recently I got a girlfriend, which is great, but I did something questionable before we became a couple but after we had started talking and I don't know how to feel about it.
We met when I had another girlfriend last year, around march, at a common friend's party. I was a little drunk and there seemed to be feeling between us, so I put my hand in her leg. Later, when sober, I apologized for it and we decided to stay friends. My then girlfriend never knew anything about this.
Some months later, I broke up with my girlfriend. Then, I met this girl again, we made out, we had some dates, but she didn't seem to be really interested and our dates were kinda boring, so we stopped talking.
Then, I went to my graduation, were I saw my ex. I thought I still loved her, we made out, etc, but, after a couple of days, I immensely regretted my decision and told her I didn't want to have a relationship with her. She was okay with that, but she wanted to spend a last weekend together at my place, which we did. We didn't have sex, but we slept together. Then, I said goodbye to my ex forever.
And then, some months after that, I met again this other girl, and we are in a relationship now.
Technically, I did not cheat on her, as we were not together when the thing with my ex happened. However, I feel guilty about this. Anyone has some advice about this?
Hm in my opinion guilt isn't necessarily bad, like you didn't cheat on your gf but you wanted to in your heart so that's why you feel guilty.
But there's no need to torture yourself either, you just need to accept it was wrong and forgive yourself. Make efforts to change and once you do, don't beat yourself up over a person that doesn't exist anymore.
I did want in my heart to cheat on my ex with the girl I had just met at the party, but I don't feel guilty about that. What I feel guilty about is having made out with my ex after I first made out with my current girlfriend but long before her becoming my girlfriend. I could feel guilty about wanting to date a girl after another one has rejected me (second option), but that was not the case, as I dumped my ex, stopped looking for anything for some time and then came across this new girl. What do you think?
I mean, we all go through life without much idea of what we are doing so I think you should listen to your gut feeling. If you feel bad about it you need to ask yourself sincerely what you could have done different if you came back in time. Once you figured it out you could write it down as an advice for your future self.
But don't torture yourself, I messed up BADLY with a girl once and I still feel bad from time to time but we need to make them and ourselves a favor and do better
If I went back in time, I would have avoided getting back together with my ex, even if it was less than 2 days. It was so dumb of me.
I guess you're right, I shouldn't torture myself. I should do the best to make my current gf happy, no matter that slip I had before getting into a relationship with her. Thanks for the advice!
You're welcome Anon, now focus on improving yourself as much as possible in all aspects and everything else will fall into place, I believe in you
Thanks anon 😀
I don’t think you did anything wrong
why
On my ex, maybe? On my current gf? How so?
You did cheat
>I feel guilty about this
Don't. Better yet, try to feel nothing. Ban all emotions from your life. Girls are atrracted to stonecold men.
I get girls are not attracted to whiny men who can't stop feeling things, but I don't think feeling "nothing" is healthy, without feelings no genuine friendship/love can exist
homosexual
If you guys stopped talking for a few months, then there was not any relationship, so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Things happen, your ex is over now, focus on your new gf
Yeah that makes sense, but the whole thing was somewhat weird and I don't feel okay about it :/ . Guess I just have to move on
>Guess I just have to move on
Indeed, just allow yourself to enjoy it and draw strength from your white skin.
I don't know how you knew I was white, but thank you!
Yeah, you're right. And the thing about the girls makes so much sense, I would definitely not have been tempted to do that with my ex if this new girl had not been so distant as to make me think we were not in a relationship.
>you didn't do something evil or amoral
happy to hear that, thanks anon
>I don't know how you knew I was white, but thank you!
You said you felt guilty. Exclusive white feeling.
>people from other races can't feel guilt
go leave
I've seen too many videos of white people being molested by blacks to think otherwise.
well, if you're talking about naggers, that's another thing. But people from other races (and even some blacks who can function in a society, which there are, though uncommon) can feel guilt anon, at least in my experience (latinos, asians, indians)
You were just being a normal guy seizing the opportunities presented to you.
The girls were also guilty for being so flaky and inconsistent.
You aren't a saint, but you didn't do something evil or amoral.