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Colonial Americans were pretty much always drunk The American Revolution was built on a foundation of booze, led by tavern addicted Founding Fathers who could drink any frat boy under the table.
Images of our Colonial forefathers usually involve powdered wigs, petticoats, and the thrill of throwing tons of tea into the Boston Harbor. Although we often think of their era as proper and civilized, it turns out that the people who led the American Revolution knew how to party. In fact, the American Revolution was built on a foundation of booze, led by tavern addicted Founding Fathers who could drink any college frat boy under the table. Beer saved the Mayflower The first settlers brought with them the English tradition of beer drinking. Even during the famous 1620 voyage of Pilgrims on board the Mayflower, beer saved the voyage. The water…
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The true history of absinthe, and the reason it was banned for 100 years The drink has a colorful history involving everything from medical miracles to murder.
Absinthe has a bad reputation, even compared with other alcoholic beverages. But from its early use as a medical elixir to the wave of absinthe bans that occurred during the early 1900s, the drink has a very colorful history involving everything from medical miracles to murder. Medicinal roots Absinthe is an anise-flavored, distilled spirit that was originally developed not as an alcoholic beverage, but for medicinal purposes. Early prototypes of the beverage were used by the ancient Greeks in childbirth. Scholars credit Madame Henriette Henirod from the Swiss village of Couvet as the first individual to create recognizable absinthe during the mid-eighteenth century. The earliest written recipe is dated to…
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Five true tales of beer saving the day Beer has often turned hairy situations right-side-up just by existing and isn't getting enough credit.
Remember the legend about the baker on the Titanic who survived freezing cold waters because he got plastered on brandy, and it made him impervious to hypothermia? Well, that’s mostly bullshit. While it’s true that a chef named Charles Joughin survived the sinking, the “plastered on brandy” part of his legend is more myth than reality. Regardless, his song remains the same — a subversive fairy-tale expounding the potential life-saving powers of alcohol that fathers can tell to sons, and drunks can tell themselves to justify going home condomless with a girl they can’t help but notice has a strange blister on her lip. Ah, fuck it. It’s probably nothing.…
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This is what it’s like selling drugs on the deepweb A story about an Excel spreadsheet and how I don't deserve to live.
Around 4 years ago, I was a vendor on the darknet. It was a relatively shortlived thing, I was just doing it because I was too lazy to get a job and at the time didn’t want to settle for the 9-to-5 thing. I wanted to start my own business, and use the drug money as a start up. I had been using myself for years, along with that I met lots of people into the dealing scene, and eventually started dealing myself. I have a lot of anxiety though, so I hated meeting up with people in parking lots and I definitely didn’t want anyone to know where I…
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How to get drunk at children’s birthday parties I like my children, but I LOVE them even more after a few beers. This is the true secret to raising children.
If you’re like me, you love a good party. I think it was Buddha, or Charlie Sheen who once said, “Have a good time, all the time.” I subscribe to that philosophy as well. Christmas, Yom Kippur, Flag Day, 4/20, Kwanza, Take Your Daughter to Work Day, it’s all ripe for getting down. But now that you’re a father, your children have replaced any social life you used to have with a host of birthday parties and other tedious crap meant to approximate some portion of the awesome life you used to lead. I like my children, but I LOVE them even more after a few beers. This is the…
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Ancient chocolate gave you a buzz The world’s first chocolate drink was neither hot nor frothy but, given its alcohol content, might have given drinkers a buzz.
The world’s first chocolate drink was neither hot nor frothy but, given its alcohol content, might have given drinkers a buzz, suggests a new Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences study. Remains of the beverage, stuck on dirty pots dating from 1400-1408 B.C., extend the earliest known use of cacao — the source of chocolate — by at least 500 years, according to the authors. Led by Cornell University anthropologist John Henderson, the scientists excavated the pots in the lower Rio Ulua Valley of northern Honduras. Although cacao plants are native to South America, most other early chocolate evidence comes from in and around Mexico. “I’d guess that South…
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10 absurd inventions that prove you should never drink while inventing These are all real inventions and the illustrations are taken directly from their official patents.
People are always looking for ways to make other people’s lives easier, keep us from killing ourselves, and make us more attractive to women – and also make a buck in the process (of course). But sometimes a few of us definitely go a little too far when channeling our inner Thomas Edison (who was kind of an asshole, btw). Here are some real, honest-to-goodness patented inventions unearthed by Scott Seegert in his recently published book, It’s a Guy Thing: Awesome Real Innovations From the Underdeveloped Male Mind. The illustrations are the inventors’ actual drawings, taken directly from the official paperwork filed with the US Patent and Trademark Office. What…