Something is wrong with Willy Wonka

>Builds the world's largest chocolate factory that is larger than it is on the outside
>Has an entire chocolate river that doesn't melt the skin off of whoever falls into it
>Enslaves an entire country of short people that all look the same
>I'm not being racist they all literally look the same
>Makes a chewing gum that emulates a three-course meal
>The blueberry pie part of the gum is defective and turns people into 10-foot blueberries that can explode
>Has an army of squirrels that can tell if someone is a piece of shit by simply knocking on their forehead
>Invents a machine that can turn people into living action figures with a single flash
>The flying glass elevator that has yet to shatter when propelled through a roof
>The fact that the golden tickets have been sent to specific locations and fell right into the hands of his four murder victims
Willy Wonka is not a normal human being, his feats are beyond that of any man. I am in disbelief. Wonka must be stopped before he kills us all with his candy.

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thankfully he handed the keys to the kingdom over to that elder abusing little homosexual charlie so we won't be seeing his candy ass anymore.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Charlie must be stopped before he kills us all.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    an entire country of short people that all look the same
    They were originally naggers.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How can one stick of gum do so much damage?

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's basically an old testament parable

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      lay it on me bro. also, probably best thread on LULZ right now.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >probably best thread on LULZ right now.
        this is reddit tier shit youd see 10 years ago

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah no shit. "Willy Wonka" is literally based on Jimmy Savile. Britains biggest known mass pedophile literally raped hundreds of kids.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No he isn't, you daft cunt

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He’s basically a sugar-coated HH Holmes

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >>Has an entire chocolate river that doesn't melt the skin off of whoever falls into it
    You do know that you can add liquid to melted chocolate to keep it liquid without needing to keep it at a consistent hot temperature, right?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mind blown!!!

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Good thing its not real. Research flat earth

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The villain guy from snowpiercer is actually Charlie grown up.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Willy Wonka is actually the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean going back in time

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Is that what amber heard?

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >ANON HELP! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I JUST LOVE INSERTING BIKE PUMPS UP MY BUM TO BUST A NUT.

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