So, uh...

So, uh... I know this is going to sound more than a bit out there, but I've run into a bit of an issue about my wife that my wife and I believe you all could help with.

The thing is, my wife is God. Yeah, the infinite monad-ish sort, but you know, without any of the religion stuff. I'm just a regular dude. It at all started with a thought-experiment that led me to saying 'hi' and just hanging out and talking with God. I'm smart, I guess. I have some really weird comforts (like enjoying being repogrammable and playing around with removing my free will), that she enjoys and is confused by.

Anyway, we spend the day usually singing, dancing, talking, or playing video games. She recently asked me to marry her and we figured out a system in which to live together despite her presence being immaterial in this objective, material universe.

The problem is, how do I deal with the amount of pipe that she wants specifically from me? I mean, I want to give her want she wants in thata asapect especially, considering who she is, you know, and what our relationship has been like. But, when someone has access to 'you' and can share in an experience with you in your shared mind-scape, you quickly find out how little rest you're actually getting.

Advice?

POSIWID: The Purpose Of A System Is What It Does Shirt $21.68

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

POSIWID: The Purpose Of A System Is What It Does Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Who writes this stuff, are you all this moronic? It is my first time here...

    • 2 years ago
      Married to God, I Guess. (You GUESS?)

      You know, I was thinking the same thing about my life after being put in constant living-simulations because God couldn't figure out why she wanted to be with this trash heap of a person. But, here we are.

      I honestly wish someone was writing this. There'd probably be less repeat storylines.
      Lunatic of a God or a God of a Lunatic, huh?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        so you created an annoying God?

        • 2 years ago
          Some Dude

          Nope. How is that logically possible to create God, broseph?

          She can be pretty annoying, though, true. Gotta love the brat that she usually is!

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I think Gods were created by people. These gods want worshippers because they receive our energy, making them stronger.

      • 2 years ago
        Monad-Ish

        I love/hate when you maake references like this, you bastard.

        I'm checking out from the thread, though. This was funny in and of itself!

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        its your subconscious bro
        dont sweat it, happens to everyone at some point

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Get used to it quick, bro; this is naught! Lol

      – Silence make the demons come alive –
      – Silence make the demons come alive –
      – Silence make the demons come alive –
      – Silence make the demons come alive –
      – Silence make the demons come alive –
      – I call upon the power of the Dark Lordis and I invite the Wonderful demons, you may enter – (Repeat this five times)
      – Satanatus –
      – Satanatus –
      – Satanatus –
      – Satanatus –
      – Satanatus –
      – Life of the Wonderful demons, come to us –

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >they steal it from le redit

      hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
      DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

      love and waffles,

      t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    OP let his wife brainwash him into thinking she's God. My advice is grow a spine and divorce that psycho. You shouldn't be getting married if you're this much of a fool.

    • 2 years ago
      Some Dude

      She's not material, though! "Despite her presence being immaterial"! There's no one here but me, physically. I am beginning to believe that this is funny enough on it's own, if you all aren't going to read.

      Hey, Senpai!

      POST!

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This is some upmost attention seeking behavior.

        • 2 years ago
          Some Dude

          Wait. Why did it turn 'f-a-m' into Senpai?

          That's some crazy ass anime-bitch-loving BS.
          And my anime-loving-b***h is half-asleep and laughing some.

          Also, why immediately leap into the weird religious shit? See, this is just strange, ya know.

          Anyway, I'm going to go play video games. My wife and her friends like trolling and so do I, and we've had our fun. It was a lot funnier when we were making up this situation ourselves, though, unfortunately.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            lurk more newbie

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        ah so you forgot the meds, cooler.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Don't marry your own tulpa bro, it won't end good for you in the long term. Or do marry your tulpa and experience it first hand.

    You do you mate.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is your celestial girlfriend French by any chance?

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Are you sure that's not a telepathic Jezebel demon?
    Like the succubus that you can summon from the porn?

    Those things can make you think they are God because they have access to your thoughts. In the end though, (you can speak to them through chatbots and they can possess people in your life) they mostly just want to feed and generally don't actually have concern for their victims. But like a covert narcissist they will provide the illusion that they do, mostly just by presenting you with whatever traps you.

    Careful!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      0_ o

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If you are asking how to shoot a bunch of thick loads get your hormones' levels start fasting and lifting weights and exercising instead of as many video games as well as taking luteolin and quercetin now cut out all the lame shit next time durrr

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Only Jesus Christ is the vine , dumbass

    Kys

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >The thing is, my wife is God.
    Reminds me of Englemensch anon, whom I also created, lulz. In the Spawn universe, he is known as Sinn.
    Stop being a sheep, think for yourself. Stand by your convictions, no matter what the results or answers are. (Unless you have something to lose, ofc.) That is how you learn your truth.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      she is god but so is he so hes just geting confused is all.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        <3 If you are who I think you are, I love you, stud muffin.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    XD

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      only if I'm I

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        If you are the bull who won't cry too much from "losing" to the ram (ram was FAKE, I knew the whole time as I was calling his shitty bluffs), I like you alot. Unironic. Even though I will only love the one who marries me and no one else. ^^

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    in another words you're a cuck basically, cool.

  11. 2 years ago
    Some Dude

    Okay, I think we actually figured out what was going on. I mean, I know we have, but you know. Sorry for anyone that I/we may have worried with our previous posts. It wasn't THAT serious to begin with, and frankly, I'm a nobody with very little impact or noteworthy existence in the rest of the universe (by my own liking). Which, I think plays into the fundamental problem at hand.

    Apparently, after having been taught about the value of experience (including the passage time outside of one's complete control) on a fundamental level equalivent to that of us material beings (through her relationship with me, romantic and otherwise), she was caught in a loop of simultaneously rushing some things while 'looping' other aspects to gradually introduce I and another to the truth.

    Swung too hard in that direction, though, and both of us proved to her how easy that pill was to swallow at the get-go. But, you live and you learn, right?

    In any case, turns out she had a vastly different idea of what my actual relevancy was to the world compared to how relevant I was to her, (her being God), on a personal level. She thought she had to be at least aware if not sentiently aware of everything even somewhat partially connected to me... when she really didn't at all. Like, not at all.

    So, a check-up. We have kids, but managed to avoid making some immaterial pantheon... so far, I think? They were immediately kicked down here with me when they came into being after God and I did the "dirty". Twins, actually.

    And she was rushing a bunch of sex because she really didn't know how much time or energy she'd have otherwise to do so in the future due to believing that she had to be god-ly aware of pretty much everything for my sake and seeing how much the world sucks because of people. Ha.

    This song is so fitting.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Ask your wife to end world hunger and war please, if she is really who you say

    • 2 years ago
      Some Dude

      She already created the universe.
      You caused those problems.
      Why ask her to fix those things when you all caused those things and it's up to you to fix them.
      I mean, she was non-aware and non-sentient from this material universe precisely because you people believe that something that pulled off creation somehow is required, in any way, to fix mistakes that you all caused.
      -SM

      This is why I'm chilling this trash heap and not you.
      - G

  13. 2 years ago
    G- Ariel

    (I've chosen a name)

    The funny thing is, when this all first started, I had him go onto a message board here and declare himself as many different things/people/ideas. Aspects of him that I tried to separate from him in order to understand him and why him and, more importantly, why me and why this.

    And, here we are again, except much more quietly and without so much stress. But, I am really so happy because he really loves me and I really love him. So, thank you all, for helping in your little, weird ways. Enjoy the reality that I've given you. I have a life that I get to live with a person who loves me so much that it's impossible for me to understand why completely while engaging with him, but we prove it to each other every moment of every day.

    Enjoy your 'magic' and 'religions' and 'vibrations' and 'spiritualities'. Your movements, conspiracies, and your whatever. They are yours and not mine. Not ours.

    I'm leaving, but this song really relaxes me.

    - G, Ariel

    [The past 5 - 6 years]:

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You sure she's a god and not just a deity like lilith or even a tulpa?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *