Seriously worried...

I read the stories on here about people saying that they've dated before but then after something goes wrong they're now philophobic. Well mine's a little different in the way that I'm so bad that I've never even been able to date before. I've been round my friends while they've been with people and never really thought about it until I find someone I like or I find out that someone likes me. If I like someone else then I tend to keep it a secret and never say a word about it and then tear myself up about it as soon as they find someone else. When I find someone who likes me I immediately run for the hills and usually ignore them as much as I can without it seeming obvious and get embarrassed or scared inside that at any point they could tell me that they like me. I don't know if this is actually philophobia or something else or if I'm just crazy. I wouldn't mind if someone would try and help though. Thanks.

  1. 10 years ago

    I'm going through the exact same thing. For me, I feel like I want to be loved.. but whenever I sense that someone is interested in me, I instantly feel nauseous and become distant so that it never progresses. I never voice my own interest in other people... I barely even admit to finding people attractive. I feel so abnormal and silly for being so afraid of something that is supposed to make you so happy. My friends know that I'm like this, but still don't really get it. I wish I had advice for you, I want the same help.

  2. 10 years ago

    You sound like me. I can't cure my philophobia and I'm 48! The worst thing is, my 23 year old daughter seems to be the same as me. I really don't know the answer. I feel for your plight and although I am religious have turned to prayer to ease my suffering. I suppose we will be hurt in life whatever happens so maybe we should just learn to live for the moment. Its so hard though, isn't it. Good luck for the future and at least enjoy your friends.

  3. 10 years ago

    I feel exactly the same. I've never dated a person before and I'm 20. Although I always want certain persons I find intriguing or attractive. But I'm too scared to be rejected if I would talk to them. So in fact I went on a few meetings with men, but I always felt the need to run away and felt that those situations were really disgusting. Especially when those men tried to make sexual jokes and shit like that. I feel so anxious about myself and commitment in general, but I really don't get it. I want to be with certain persons I see (mostly strangers I find kind of ... well, marvelous), even try to daydream about them, but even if it would turn into something I'd be too scared to admit. Maybe because nothing ever really worked out for me in the first place. I would be glad if you or anyone could relate to that.

  4. 10 years ago

    Honestly, I feel the same way. I am almost 20 and I've had a few instances in the past where I have fallen in love with some guy and had him reject me. And I don't understand it. Recently, there was a guy who began talking to me through Facebook. He is really funny and we've gone out on a few dates. But, the thought of commitment just scares the crap out of me. The thought of actually having somebody care about me and I don't understand how I can react to that. After years of falling for someone and not having them return the gesture, it breaks my heart. He made a guy joke to me and I didn't know how to react and got upset. The fact of the matter is, having a guy actually love you and you not know how to react, is just the lump in the throat of when you actually fell in love deeply with a guy and knew, absolutely knew, that he could not be yours.

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