so ive gone on 3 dates with this guy who I'm learning is a dead serious health nut. He literally
>never eats junk food , cheat days don't exist
>only drinks water or tea , no booze
>does fasting
>lots of sports
> is always training, working at his standing desk, OR watching some documentary
>off handedly jokes he would be a sage if he became a millionaire
But is funny and easy to talk too and HOT - otherwise pretty boring. But my god - this guy never lets loose ever. Not weddings, birthdays or anything. Can I change him?
No but weed can
he doesn't do drugs - will not get near the stuff , not even caffeine beyond green tea
He's either going to fall off hard and end up some sloppy hedonist you will resent or drop you for trying to tempt him. Either way ends with you splitting up.
fuck you that is what discipline perfecttion in action. If you break him even a little he will fall into doomerisim. keep your desire slavery to yourself and stop dragging others into your hole
I just don't want him to be stressed about perfection and actually live a life - its like dating a charismatic robot.
the thing you want to hik to get lose in will damage his health little by little. he will age faster, get weaker faster and even worse he might fall into addiction. its not as liberating as you think it is. you either take him as he is or leave him alone, stop trying to detroy his discipline
Understand he is more of a man than almost any you'll meet. He is in complete control of himself and is therefore 100% father material. I think the reason you want to make him let go a little is to test him, to see if he's the real deal. To see if he can maintain this control even when surrounded by the temptations. I think that's actually fair, but it's not fair to risk someone's health and happiness for your high standards.
Good luck anon.
> think that's actually fair, but it's not fair to risk someone's health and happiness for your high standards.
>high standards
OP sounds like a slob who resents the guy's self-control and discipline. I think you meant drag him down to her standards.
I'm giving the benefit of the doubt in some ways, but am trying to be empathetic to the necessary evil that is the female mind. I don't think she trusts that he's as put together as he makes out. Would you fully, with the entirety of your body(as that's what childbirth demands of a woman) trust that this guy wouldn't drink a little and then go completely off the rails?
I think, judging by how everyone on this thread has demonised the situation as potentially ruining his life, none of you guys trust this guy either. Hence OP is trying to test. I bet you if he let go a little one time, had a ball, and then said "It's not for me," OP would be more content.
The body and mind are like a dog. An animal. What is more impressive? A dog that walks at your heel for an hour, or a dog who comes back to your heel at your command. It's subjective, and opinions may vary, but I think for a few people the more impressive dog is that latter as it is implied it can do the former and then the additional feat of discipline by running off and then returning.
This is gay as fuck. Part of discipline and intelligence is knowing how to avoid the temptation all together but leave it to a women to rationalize inching ever closer to the edge only to cry when they fall off.
She doesnt need to test anything. Simoly observe him and his outcomes. Its literally that simple.
Women aren't men, they do not act like men. But I am gay for acknowledging that, of course. Asking a woman to be rational is like asking a lemon to be sweet. Only the special cases are, and can be. She is not being rational, she is being emotional and is coming up with shitty rationalisations to justify it.
They can tell. Women that get beat seek out men that will beat them.
Nice backpedal. You never said that it wasnt logical and you presented it as reasonable. Only now are you saying that its as dumb as it is. I didnt call you gay btw.
It makes sense from a female standpoint is what I meant. It is not logical and reasonable from a male standpoint. Men and women are different, and have different imperatives.
Imperatives isnt an accurate word if youre trying to describe what I think you are. Trying to test him by attempting to degrade his being is antithetical to the imperative of finding a good man. Unless youre suggesting that its an imperative to women to ruin mens lives in which case I agree.
It is a womans imperative to TRY and ruin a mans life, yes.
No wonder buddhists shit on women so much.
Hi I'm new to the thread! I liked your post, but I want to answer your Dog Philosophy question:
>the more impressive dog is that latter as it is implied it can do the former and then the additional feat of discipline
And that is how humans make errors in logic. There is no logical proof that the dog that comes at your command also possesses the skill set to STAY at your heel consistently instead. They are two separate activities that require different skill sets. I've trained many dogs from Rottweilers to Yellow Labs and I assure you they are two different skill sets that both need to be trained.
Just wanted to clear that up for you!
How about you want him to be happy just the way he is according to his own view of life and not yours?
>Understand he is more of a man than almost any you'll meet. He is in complete control of himself and is therefore 100% father material.
Agreed with you until here.
> I think the reason you want to make him let go a little is to test him,
I simply think OP can't keep up with his lifestyle or agrees with it, simple as that and wants to change him to suit her needs, deluding herself that her own worldview should be his as well.
and exercise + good diet burn stress, it's a lovely cycle
why would you want to change him you stupid twat?
anyway if you want him relax, have lots of sex with him, cuddle or something
>I just don't want him to be stressed about perfection and actually live a life - its like dating a charismatic robot.
he being stressed is only your projection of your weak-willed self
You're very shallow and mentally a child.
? he decides his life, not you
You're gonna get a lot of hate for this thread, and I think you know it's justified.
>Can I change him?
Why would you want to? Hes healthy, happy, with a good job and a fit body and not addicted to substances. Why not just let him be with someone on his level rather than drag him down to yours?
The personality difference is way too stark to keep going.
>Can I change him?
You're a woman, aren't you? No, you can't change him. You can't change anyone. You shouldn't want to.
Find someone you can love for who they are right now - not who you think you can "shape" them into.
Even if it would be possible (which I assure you it isn't) it's a paradox.
"I want to change him to be with him. If I can actually change him I lose respect for him and won't wanna be with him"
Let him go find his healthy sporty future wife.
>Man is disciplined, fit, always training and learning and working
>woman's first instinct : let's fuck with his discipline and lifestyle
like pottery
why are you dating him if you already want to change him? sounds like he has his shit together and doesn't need crap to survive but you do. Just dump him before you ruin his life.
>Just dump him before you ruin his life.
I have a very strong feeling that if the guy is as she describes him (disciplined) he'll probably dump her or at the very least be immune to her "let's just party, bruh, you're so stuck up haha" bullshit and then drop her.
Case in point, if he did this OP would lose her mind when she realises he's so much the real deal even she couldn't tempt him. She'd be distraught and swear that she missed out on the man to end all men.
>She'd be distraught and swear that she missed out on the man to end all men.
The joke is, she already missed out on him by wanting to change him, since she's clearly not his type and will fail to make him her type.
Who knows, I don't think women have types. They just have gut feelings that they're worse at articulating and understanding than men who can't even feel them.
Lmao its super funny how they have all these gut feelings but cant tell that a guy is going to beat them.
Youre a demon. If you cant rise to the occasion stop trying to trick this man into becoming a beta degenerate. Hes too good for you.
>Can I change him?
fuck
you
bait thread lol
Not only do the ones making these threads don't care, neither do the ones replying to this. They just want to get mad at women, even if they're not real.
Why do you want to change him? He’s disciplined on something good, and probably looks great for it.
He likely doesn’t give a shit if you eat snacks or drinks. Whats it to you?
Thread is proof that women can find the literal perfect man and still want to ruin his life lmao
don't try to change him
But why should he change? Seems like he’s doing pretty good for himself. Maybe he makes you feel subconsciously guilty or morally inferior or something so badly that you want to make him change, and in that case maybe you just shouldn’t keep seeing him, hot or not.
>funny easy to talk to hot
>otherwise boring
What the FUCK more do you need to make him interesting?
I get what she means, when she gets drunk or high , she wants someone at the same level of "drunkyness or highness, for that reason I don't think they are meant for each other if she can't let go of that particular thing. If she tries to change him she might destroy him completely
omg you guys are so mean I just want him to be able to attend my social events with my friends without looking like a prude
Sage my ass
He would never even approach such a status
he volunteers, donates a good portion of his income, and regularly goes to his buddhist temple
He seems pretty commited but it might be a long term goal like when he's an old man , me & his family probably are the weak links stopping him lol
Even a man as wise as Confucius only reached the level of a sage at 70 years old
This vegan buddhist wouldnt make it if he lived to 700
meanie I believe in him
The problem there being "if he became a millionaire" as a qualifier since having such material attachments basically excludes you from enlightenment.
i asked him and he said the money is so he can get other people off his back and he can actually create distance without leaving anyone high and dry.
Tell him hes an arrogant twit
>woman wants to be able to relate more to man she likes and help him enjoy life
>everyone assumes she's a total degenerate who wants to see him party every night
That's a yikes from me, dawg!
OP, I'm pretty health-conscious (would probably have a lot to talk about with that guy) but agree that good health and long life mean little if there's no fun to be had, no great memories or novel experiences. Does he seem happy? It's entirely possible this is exactly how he wants to live, and he clearly worked hard for it, but it's also pretty likely he's high-strung or has concerns he hasn't voiced. I wouldn't be shocked if he was the sort who hated to show weakness in front of a gal he's into; in his defense we've all seen women lose interest/respect once that illusion of indestructibility is shattered so it's not crazy of him to do so.
>tea
Can you be more specific? If you get into the loose leaf rabbit hole it's actually pretty decadent, even if it's still mostly healthy- people spend a lot of money for rare aesthetic experiences solely for their private consumption (or hoarding). Is he a "seven organic green teabags a day, at regular intervals" kind of utilitarian drinker? If he's more flexible, maybe learn about the nicer stuff, and if you have an opportunity to gift him something make it a quality silver needle or gyokuro or what have you; that would mean excitement and novelty without compromising his discipline.
cont.
So what do YOU like to do to relax? What sorts of fun would you like to be able to have with him? Do you drink? That might be a tough sell from the sound of things, as he may not entirely trust a partner who alters her state when he doesn't. Do you like sports? Even if you're lukewarm on that stuff now, if you like him you should try to see what the fuss is about.
>some documentary
Anything interesting? You might be able to steer him toward watching fewer of those and reading books instead; a book, fiction or not, can get away with lots of crazy shit that documentaries rarely do, and it's easy to sell reading as a healthy hobby.
Are you physically active? Maybe see if there's a local hiking route you could both handle, assuming you trust him enough to be alone with him in the woods. Getting out in nature is one of the healthiest things you can do- moving your body, getting sun and fresh air, encountering new plants and animals... if you wanna get nerdy about it you could delve into the benefits of exposure to the bacterial, fungi etc. of remote areas and how that might benefit the body and mind holistically.
So he doesn't eat garbage- great! What does he eat? Does he cook? Is he carnivore or keto or something, or willing to eat a more exciting array of dishes? There's tons you could do with food to make things interesting, like get him into home fermentation (sauerkraut is amazing for you and easy and rewarding to make), or just cook together.
cont.
Lastly, what's his social life like? That seems like the most challenging piece of the puzzle; most people like to let go and have a good time, and it can be hard to make friends if you're not willing to stoop to that, or if you intimidate people and they're afraid to relax. Does he have a male, or coed, friend circle via sports and the gym? That at least would go a long way toward adding excitement to his life, even if they're just like him. I could understand if you're not sure what to do with him re: your own friend circle, depending on what they're like. Again, what would your ideal relationship be like?
IMO you should focus on introducing a few new things at a time that fit his goals, like more adventurous teas (is he into herbal teas too? How about kombucha? Yerba mate? That's a good one for a health fanatic to get into) or less regimented workouts. Don't throw something radical at him until you're further along.
You said he's into Buddhism? If he likes meditation he's probably a fairly open-minded guy all things considered, if you play your cards right I'm sure you can make this work, assuming he's still into you at any rate.
oh there it is, didn't see that. What do you and your friends do? Do your friends have boyfriends, do you do things as couples? Might be hard to find good common ground if you just want to be around him and your lady friends. That being said if he's fit and good-looking he should make a good impression, especially since none of your issues with him are that he's *boring.*
You there, OP? I threw a lot at you, hope you at least read it over.
The rules of not being a retard in dating.
1) you cannot change ANYONE.
2) doesnt matter how "funny" or "easy to talk to" or "HOT" they are, if there is an irreconcilable difference, youre ruining both your lives continuing.
It is appauling how much tb
His has to be repeated because of how retarded teens/early 20s kids are. I get it, tou dont know how to handle emotions and think with your brain and not your dick/ovaries.
Listen to those that went before you. We didnt listen either. And here we are telling you.
OK, so your problem is that this guy doesn't eat trash and do drugs?
>Can I change him?
Keep chasing the illusion. If you get to know him seriously, he may open up and show other sides that are more entertaining to you.
He may not trust you enough yet to let loose.
Are eating junk food, drinking booze, and having a sedentary lifestyle considered interesting qualities to you? Sounds like you two are just incompatible.
yeah it's the only possible world for some, meaning you can just slide on top
>Can I change him?
You literally found a man achieving the best for himself and you want him to lower his standards because YOU'RE bored?
What?
he's Pine posting
don't get the reference and I don't need to
As a fit guy and healthy heater with a fat fetish, I can related.
You should tell him what you think
Classic woman mode
>Hmm, this guy seems to have his life together a little TOO well... how can I cause some problems here?