Scared of getting serious

From the previous post:

"the difficulty is I don’t even understand why I feel this way. I’ve never been in a committed relationship, I’ve never been abused, I have a loving family and I’ve never experienced heart break. I go through stages of wanting a relationship then when I get close to having one I panic, I feel the typical ‘philophobia’ symptoms and run for the hills…"


I've recently started texting a guy who I met a 2 years ago in lab at uni. I've had no problem talking to him in person in the past but now I'm freaking out because our texts have gotten very flirty and he asked me out. I am really trying to distant myself now and just making up excuses to avoid meeting him. I feel really bad for doing this because he is a good guy.

A few weeks ago I brought home a guy I met at a bar (for the first time) and did not find that awkward at all! I didn't have sex with him but just having him there to cuddle was great haha. But this is why I am so confused about why I run for the hills when a good guy that I actually care about shows interest in me. I can bring home a stranger from the bar and get a little intimate with him but not with a guy I actually know has true feelings for me.

  1. 10 years ago

    I feel the exact same way as you, I can be with someone that i have no connection with and feel nothing but I get nervous or insecure when it comes to someone i have feelings for or who has feelings for me. Idk why.

  2. 10 years ago

    Im the exact same way. for me it's because the good guy id get emotionally invested in and in-turn get hurt by him. with the random nice guy from the bar, you can feel an attachment without an actual attachment and with out you actually having to care. it's a cycle that kills, really.

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