Relationships terrify me

Have I always known about Philophobia? Of course not. I am young, and it's confusing.

I'm a contradictory person by nature. I want to love, to show love, to receive it, but at the same time, I want to stay away from being emotionally attached to anyone.

I guess it started when I met this guy, he was perfect, in my eyes. We had the same interests, values, philosophies etc. but when he moved I still loved him, let's just say a it ended horribly.. For me that is. I've always been surrounded by bad relationships. My parents were always horrible at maintaining theirs. So I was always cautious when it came to dating, I finally dated a guy but I broke it off because it was moving too fast and I couldn't handle the involvement. I don't have a problem accepting love from family etc, but when it comes to a involved, emotionally attached, one on one relationship I become extremely terrified.

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