Really weird question, /adv/. Please don’t make fun of me, my self esteem is already so low. I’d appreciate any female input. I’m 29 and the girl is 23. This is in Canada.
I am an autist with a 200k/yr job. My chad friend works at a nightclub and he pulled me into his social group. One night, I met a very cute girl who worked there that I became enamored with. She posted on her IG story something about wanting $5 for a shot along with her Venmo. I got wasted a few nights later and started Venmo’ing her money along with song lyrics or other cringey shit. Please believe it, I hate myself for this. She stopped working there so I never saw her again, but I continued sending her money for a month or two.
Fast forward a month or two —one night I’m very drunk outside the club and she comes up to me and starts flirting pretty hard. It’s an awkward convo as we don’t acknowledge the elephant in the room but she seems to be trying to tell me things about herself, trying to build a connection. She then walks off drunkenly at a low point in the convo. When I get home, I publicly Venmo her on accident due to being drunk.
(2/2) The next day I go out and a mutual friend confronts me and tells me that I’m making her uncomfortable. I tell the friend that I understand, and back off. I give up on pursuing her.
The next week, I walk into the nightclub again. She’s there. I see her point at me with her friends and they divert themselves from my path. Embarrassed, I walk outside. For some reason a VERY pretty girl comes up to me and starts flirting with me. We talk for about 15 minutes. I then look around and notice my crush is sitting at the table right by me, watching us, with her friends rubbing her shoulders & holding her hand like they are comforting her. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that she looked jealous, and distressed. The pretty girl gives me her phone number and leaves. I walk back into the bar, and my crush and her friends are comically shuffling away from me. Every step I (incidentally) take towards them, they take a step back. I go to the bathroom and come back, and see my crush with her friends. The bar is packed, so I have to walk right by her. To my surprise, she walks very close to me, puffs her chest out and flips her hair. I look at the ground due to being ignored by her all night, I’m feeling low. She looks disappointed. We don’t talk again.
A few weeks later, I’m at the patio of the same club and she comes outside and sees me talking to another pretty girl. She stops and looks at us then walks away. Later, she comes out with a friend and pantomimes “beard” and “tall” and then her friend starts staring at me. So I think she was talking about me. I walk past her a few times and she doesn’t flinch or recoil.
What do you guys think? Does she like me or is she just scared of losing my attention? I’ve heard through the grapevine that she has BPD and is a serial dater, but I’m okay with that. Maybe I could stabilize her.
> I look at the ground due to being ignored by her all night, I’m feeling low. She looks disappointed. We don’t talk again.
You really need to learn body language and basic game. She flirted with you, you rejected her. Ever watch RSD's "The Blueprint?" It's called social skills for a reason. The first thing that came to mind was you need to manage your internal state better and not let the environment dictate your behavior as much as it is.
>Maybe I could stabilize her.
No, you can't, don't even try. Girls like this are smash and pass, and will smash part of your life in the process.
> Does she like me or is she just scared of losing my attention
Probably a bit of both. You're the man, do the legwork and ask her out or something IDK- worst case she says no and you already got the deets on other cool people you could date.
Dude, I only have so much confidence. Having a group of girls point at you and move out of the way is jarring at the very least.
I do hear your other points though and will keep them in mind.
Bump, I know it’s a long post but would appreciate any Femanons posting
>For some reason a VERY pretty girl comes up to me and starts flirting with me.
She heard you were giving money to that other girl so she wanted a piece of that action too.
You need to learn social skills dude. It's all about thr context.
No. She didn’t know her.
And please elaborate. I already said I was autist
I'm a bit of an autist too. I think the main problem is that being an autist means you have a surface level understanding of social skills. You ever study computers and networking? Two comouters need to have similar enough hardware, software, and needs to be wired the same to properly transfer data. You don't properly recieve and send data because you aren't wired the same as most people. Try to think like a normalfag. I've learned a lot through the process of observation and thinking. Why would a normalfag do "x, y, z?" There are fundamental principles that dictate why a person does something. Find those out and you will be able to create a model that predicts people more accurately. Newton created a model to understand how things move. He saw, through observation, that things begin to move or stop only if they have a force applied onto them. What were the fundamentals here? He saw some objects in reality, saw how they interact, and eventually made a model. You need to create a model that processes people properly.
To be honest, I just plug peoples behavior into chatgpt and ask for their motivations and emotional reasoning. But thank you for the post
The most important thing imo is to realize everything in reality has a nature, and from observation we can deduce and create models that predict it. Let me use my physics model again. People for thousands of years used the idea that a continuous "force" is required to push an object. Since this theory was mostly wrong, they couldn't really advance further in physicw that much. Then Newton discovered his three laws of motion, and from there on we were able to create more useful things because there was a more accurate understanding of reality. Advances in chemistry and physics (Heisenberg, Bohr, Einstein) in the 21st century allowed people to go to the moon and create nukes. They had even more accurate models of reality and because of this they could do more things. Let's apply this to social settings for example cont.
Cont.
Say a group of people are bullying on some loser and people just pass by. What does that mean? Why are they bullying him? It makes you feel bad and sad to see this. If you think about it logically though, people tend to do actions that bring them pleasure and stray away from those that bring them pain. Then you realize the bullies gain more pleasure from bullying the guy than leaving him alone. You have no discovered and added a component to your model: different people feel different things when they are in a situation with the same variables. Like mathematical functions that produce different outcomes. Another parable: say a woman is with an abusive boyfriend and she tells you that she hates him and wants to leave because he beats her up. Then she goes back to him a week later? What happened? She had two choices, to stay or to leave. She chose to stay because she saw more value in that action. What parameters did she use? Maybe confidence, dick size, insecurity, so on. She valued these things more than her physical safety. You have now unlocked a new addition to your model: people value different things. Etc. Do this until you have a comprehensive model. Normalfags do this unconsciously and don't understand why it's so hard for autists to learn social skills.
I understand what you're saying. Essentially you are using logical processes to substitute for your lack of understanding of social dynamics. I still prefer to just use chat gpt and factual representations of events
You won't have ChatGPT in every waking moment of your life. Might as well create models to help you which you can use and carry around whenever, wherever.
Unless my phone is dead I have access to CHATGPT 24/7
Are you retarded? No ThinkPad and Mac is completely different hardware and it runs completely different software yet one can send data to another. That's why we have networking protocols like HTTP which abstract low-level details from software implementations and hardware details. God, I hate when normgroids start to talk about things they know nothing about
And they say it so confidently too.
she isn't worth your time
How the fuck do you make 200,000$ a year?
Why are you interested in club sluts? Who are you voting for?
Software Developer. I barely get out the house, so having a pretty hot girl be even mildly interested in me is a novelty. I usually vote red. Any other questions?
Neat, unfortunate and based
That’s all the questions I have
My advice is to avoid club sluts and find a nice wholesome girl
You’ll only find golddigging whores at the club
I'm okay with a gold diigger if she is attractive and willing to be in a relationship with me. I see nothing wrong with a relationship where I share my high salary with her in exchange for companionship etc...
But your advice is welcome and duly noted.
>vote red
Wait, you mean Conservative, right?
It's a larp, nice story tho
Sure you get 200k as autist dev, I guess you have to never open your mouth, and it's BA who always talks with the customer?
Software developer job nowadays requires modicum of social skills
One last pic of her
I read 1/4 of this and got enraged.
I stopped when I kept seeing the words, "drunkenly," "venmo," and "her," all being used in conjunction to form sentences that no man should utter. You're a fucking idiot. You already know that. So start with this; you're an idiot acting out while drunk and those actions are used as a means to what? You're a fucking idiot. Don't think about this. Don't even chase it. No good relationship will come out of any this. All you're doing is being a drunk man baby retard. A bitch you meet at the club is not a fuckin caretaker of your children. A bitch at the club may as well be a nagger from the ghetto or some walled roastie who is still 'finding herself' on random drugs at random ass EDM concerts/raves.
You just don't do it. This is unnatural and horrible outcomes will arise if you follow this path.