Programming humor thread

LULZ humor thread

  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >sharp algorithm skills
    >cannot fizzbuzz
    how does this happen?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      by lying on their resume.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        More likely not knowing what an algorithm is

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      You have no idea the delusional type of people that the money and glamor of Silicon Valley can attract, 150 years ago they’d be dying of exposure in the Klondike convinced they know how the best way to dig gold

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I might have to start interviewing candidates this year and if I get someone this retarded I'm gonna fucking lose it.

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    does anyone have the one that is a notepad++ screenshot where some guy describes all the fizzbuzz interviews he did

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      gotcha covered

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        that made me start to doubt that I could actually do those

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        this made me feel like i could be a professional coder. Are coders really this bad or is it just people lying on their resumes about experience?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Theres a lot of bad people out there.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          These people were looking for a job for a reason.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >i = i%1

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Find all odd numbers between 0-100
        >for(int i = 1, i >= 100, i++)
        > i >= 100
        > >=
        >8 years experience
        kek

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        it's also worth noting that 2 is a prime number (it is only divisible by itself and 1), so the interviewer is wrong in saying that odd numbers are 1,3,5 etc and there needs to be an extra statement stating if i == 2 print i

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          um

          I-

          yes good point

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >the interviewer is wrong in saying that odd numbers are 1,3,5 etc and there needs to be an extra statement stating if i == 2 print i
          Sorry, but we don't like know-it-alls around here, better luck next time.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          1 is not prime though

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm actually curious, what's a more efficient way to make a list of all odd numbers between x and y?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          for a in list(range(100)):
          if a%2 == 1:
          print(a)

          or if you like, you can append 'a' to a list and then print the list after the loop is done

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            >not using
            >if a&1:

            • 11 months ago
              Anonymous

              dont prioritize shit that your compiler is gonna do anyway over readability

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Look at the last bit of the number. If it is 1, then it is odd.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          butts = x || 1

          while butts < y:
          print(butts)
          # or append to list instead
          butts += 2

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          If x is odd, start at x and increment by 2 until x is greater than y
          otherwise, start at x+1 and increment by 2 until x is greater than y

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        this cant be real

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Coding interviews are nothing like this.

        Either this was written in 1998, or your company is paying garbage-tier wages, or they're bringing in high school students to interview.

        Either way, if your interview candidates are that shitty it's totally on you.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        This reads like an SCP entry listing interactions

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          These people should be contained for their own safety.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I feel like you could get some of these if, every time you hit newline, you weren't allowed to see any of the previous lines you wrote.

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've only ever used small amounts of R or python for data analysis or running motors but wouldn't that just be something simple like (mind the pseudocode)

    for number in range(1,16):
    if number divisible by 3 and 5:
    print("FizzBuzz")
    elif number divisible by 3:
    print("Fizz")
    elif number divisible by 5:
    print("Buzz")
    else print(number)

    I don't know what a timecode string is, I'm guessing something like 12:34:24 where it's hours:min:seconds? Seems like an easy enough division.

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is the result of the bootcamps and the campaigns convincing people to learn how to write code.

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Everybody get ready to laugh at the CSfags who think they can do better.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      def product(a, b):
      for i in range(b):
      a += a
      return a

      Is this right? I'm a retard who's never coded.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        oh I made a retard. Replace that section with
        c += a
        return c

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          You made me curious so I checked and it still works.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I solved it, awaiting job at MIT:

      def product(a,b):
      return a/(1/b)

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        genius

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        That was my first thought but isn't the challenge to avoid using any such operators?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          obey the letter of the law if not the spirit

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        ah yes i see, 3*0 is indeed "ZeroDivisionError: division by zero"

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        This holy fuck, if you are going to write ANY code at least know basic algorithms like Russian multiplication (repeated doubling). It's the base for thousands of other similar algorithms. As long as you have a monoid you can use it.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://pastebin.com/m4s6v4QB

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I didn't realize C++ doesn't rollover. Very nice.

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine the kind of person that posts here in a STEM career gen thread, asking if they need to get a degree in CS or if their HS experience making a couple scripts qualifies them for 80k-250k developer jobs. Those people pumped up on confidence and dunning-kruger waltz into interviews and waste everybody's time. It is usually either them, or boomers who just mass spam every single job listing and hope someone will hire them without checking into their skill level.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Listen son, you don't need a resume when you have a firm handshake. And if your a woman, all the same, except you grab the penis.

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    How do I into coding?
    I'm studying chemistry but I need a backup plan because most jobs you can get with an undergrad degree pay like shit and my grades aren't looking too hot atm.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Literally just start writing shit and dicking around. Something like freecodecamp or codecadamy can give you a little structure and a nudge in the right direction.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      come up with a fun problem and solve it
      or
      take classes that make you suffer and put up with the suffering

      both are equally valid

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      http://101.lv/learn/C++/htm/ch01.htm
      Think this is supposed to be a decent resource. I had to do some coding for embedded systems classes and the course coordinator recommended it.

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Check this one out.

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    5 divided by 2 is : 2 and 1 halves
    3 divided by 2 is : 1 and 1 halves
    1 divided by 2 is : 0 and 1 halves

    The % is counting the halves

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Euclidean division, retard. 1 = 2*0 + 1.

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't see the humor though. Cranking the valve open literally will ruin the entire experiment because you will get the wrong amount and over titrate it. And if you already know the amount required beforehand, then fast titrate to within 5 mL of it, then slow titrate. Literally takes less than 2 minutes to go through a 50 mL burette doing this.

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    This fizz buzz do you have to use (n % 3 == 0 AND n % 5 == 0) print fizzbuzz elseif n % 3 == 0 print fizz elsif n % 5 == 0 print buzz else print n
    n++
    or is there a compsci way of doing it

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can do n % 15 instead of n % 3 and n % 5
      Or you could parameterize it like
      Fizz : 15n, 15n + 3, 15n + 6, 15n + 9, 15n + 12
      Buzz: 15n, 15n + 5, 15n + 10
      n : 15n + 1, 15n + 2, 15n + 4, 15n + 6, 15n + 7, 15n + 8, 15n + 11, 15n + 13, 15n + 14

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      for (i = 1, i <=100, i++) {
      if (i%15 == 0) {
      print "FizzBuzz" }
      else if (i%5 == 0) {
      print "Buzz" }
      else if (i%3 == 0) {
      print "Fizz" }
      else
      print i }

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      in python:

      def fizzbuzz(x):
      string = ''
      if x % 3 == 0:
      string = string + 'fizz'
      if x % 5 == 0:
      string = string + 'buzz'
      return string

      for x in range(n):
      print(fizzbuzz(x))

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        it has to print out the number itself in cases where the string is empty

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    A primary school boy could do this in 20 minutes if I taught him about the basics of C. How do these people exist?

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >CHADdock the PUSSY slayer
    >SCIENTISTdock the BRILLIANT
    How the FUCK does he do it bros?

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    You laugh and yet my medfag job interview included(aside from med shit) basic arithmetic/algebra tasks along the lines of
    >how would you turn 10ml of 40% solution into 200ml of 5% solution(1% in medicine means it contains 10 mg per ml)
    We are surrounded by 90iq monkeys in our daily lives, and its best not to think about it

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