LULZ / TV & Film

One of the worst mainstream movies made in years

One of the worst mainstream movies made in years

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    is it worse than the first two? fuck lol

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Its hard to express just how bad it really is, I went it with pretty low expectations and was blown away at the depth and breadth of the awfulness. There isn't 1 single redeeming feature to the whole film.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >There isn't 1 single redeeming feature to the whole film.
        dicky

        I just saw this:
        - Plot armour was ridiculous, Dino's turn stupid and slow around all the 10 main characters.
        -Too many characters, 2 blacks and a girl added to diversify, it's cringe.
        Baddies are stupid and slow.
        - I got bored of the Dino scenes straight away, there's no horror like 1 and 3, just mindless action and chase scenes.
        Maybe 3 people eaten??
        - Women are cool and confident. "Girls get it done" scene.

        Don't forget the black pilot lady was a lesbo because, well, because she was okay!?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >was a lesbo

          was she really?

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. Her plane has a pinup girl painted on it and she mentions to Owen that she gets why he loves Claire because she's got a thing for redheads too.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks OP and you for the heads up. Going to have to disappoint the kids, but I'm not sitting through pure shite.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Did you at least try cutting a hole in your popcorn so you could get jerked off?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Goldblum was pretty hammy hard carried the movie and the black girl was surprisingly hot, other than that you're right

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I thought the same about the second one, guess this movie is somehow worse. The worst mainstream blockbuster of the past decade is still Suicide Squad though

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I haven’t seen it but at least it can’t be as bad as the last one, right?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      An order of magnitude worse, its like 3 really bad incomplete films smashed together into 1 with a few dinosaur scenes for no real reason.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        that's fucking impressive

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Lost Kingdom decided to use the dinos to make an horror movie instead of an adventure one
      Dominion is basically a plot about world-ending locusts with some dinosaurs here and there for whatever reasons.

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    If you want to hold a long lasting admiration for the Jurassic Park franchise watch Jurassic Park and none of the movies that came after it.

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I just saw this:
    - Plot armour was ridiculous, Dino's turn stupid and slow around all the 10 main characters.
    -Too many characters, 2 blacks and a girl added to diversify, it's cringe.
    Baddies are stupid and slow.
    - I got bored of the Dino scenes straight away, there's no horror like 1 and 3, just mindless action and chase scenes.
    Maybe 3 people eaten??
    - Women are cool and confident. "Girls get it done" scene.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Damn, that's disappointing

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >- Women are cool and confident. "Girls get it done" scene.
      Except the scene where they act all squeamish around bugs and fumble around with electronics for minutes. Also, Maisie was based.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Add on dino’s understand English now. “I’ll get your boy back blue.”
      Pratt being Beast Master is so dumb at this point it’s a parody. He holds up his arm like 50 times to stop dinos

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >2 blacks and a girl added to diversify, it's cringe
      Did you shit your dick and balls off in retard fury over the females and non-whites in the five other movies? I bet you were kicked out if the theater for shrieking "n-word" over and over again when you saw Ray Arnold back in 1993.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Based garden gnome

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          If it's not trannies you people worship, it's garden gnomes.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            What do you mean "you people"? Sounding a bit racist, no cap.

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It’s perfectly fine for what it is: a dumb dinosaur flick. Only hysterical homosexuals have the energy to pretend that it’s some kind of travesty.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      JP III was a dumb dino flick but still entertaining. How does this compare?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I liked the horror type scenes of 3. The dude on the runway, the phone scene, the aviary. This movie has none of that. Just 8 invincible characters running away from hapless dinos

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It’s pretty similar.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          You don't sound convincing

      • 7 days ago
        Anonymous

        Worse, its just tensionless chase scene after tensionless chase scene. The only ones who get eaten are literally whos and nothing makes sense. Also all the dinosaurs are fuck ugly, JP3 had excellent designs

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      It wasn’t even a dumb dino movie. It was about bugs

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    how much of bryce's ass do we see, that's really the only thing that matters, not just in this movie but in all movies

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I wasn't really paying attention to that but Isabella Sermon (Maisie) has a nude scene in it.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        She's 15 you disguting pedophile.

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Just saw it a few hours ago. Cost $60 for two tickets and some snacks. It was a jurassic park movie, so you know exactly what you're getting when you go into it. Action, loud noises, dinosaurs etc etc. Don't expect Shakespeare. Its a dumb romp, way too loud at times, but good enough for a date night. That being said, no movie is worth $60

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Did you also see that special Minions promo where they harass the T-Rex in the ad section right before the movie?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Is that what they were doing? I thought they were flying a plane or something. I kind of zoned out and focused on my $8 hotdog

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          There was a regular trailer where they were flying a plane. But there was also a special promo that essentially said "enjoy your movie and also don't miss Minions" right before the movie (I think the movie literally started right after it). In it one was yelling off the edge of the building and then it came time for the second one to (I think they were listening for echoes). Second minion does it to no avail until eventually the strong iconic roar comes back kind of pushing it back. The minion does this again and I think it roars again. Cue music (I think) and it zooms out to reveal another trex and 2 sauropods, both stood as tall as the building the minions were atop. Then the message played and the movie theater did that nice darkening thing they always do right before movies. Bare in mind the movie theater I went to also had minions table top soccer out on display.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Two tickets
      >Some snacks
      >60 dollars
      Holy shit, how expensive have tickets gotten?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Extremely midwit take. The movie is ass. I expected Jurassic Park and a fun adventure with dinosaurs and instead got a really bad James Bond/Mission Impossible ripoff about genetically engineered locusts and genetically modified food crops. There are fuck all dinosaurs in it, it wasn't anywhere near "a romp".

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Jurassic Park 6: Jurassic World 3: Dominion is a brilliant advertisement for anyone looking to start a Hollywood career. Whatever bullshit fanfiction you have, you can take it to LA and as long as you can get past security, you're practically guaranteed to get $200 million to make your movie.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Dominion is unironically my favorite Jurassic movie. It will probably be replaced with whatever they release next though if it is good.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >dinosaur movie
    >entire plot revolves around bugs

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      It was a based stop globohomo from causing food shortages plot though. I was kinda surprised they were able to go there in these times.

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how those mfs act around raptors like if they are tryna use the force or some sheeit.
    Then the way they killed off Dodgson was retarded nostalgia b8.
    I did like the enviroment though, those jungles and swamps looked cool, but either way the movie was a complete piece of garbage.

    Captcha: HH2JP

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Okay, Rexy, here's the plan: I hold my fingers straight out, you shove the Giganotosaurus into them, then we both pose and roar victoriously.

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    these movies are literally on the same level as F&F but instead of cars it's dinos. you're supposed to go there and go comatose with your eyes open for 90 minutes while you eat popcorn and drink your giant soda and shit. it's complete shit but you're a dummy for expecting any different

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone who hates this movie hasn't seen this movie. It's great.

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It cant be worse than Fallen Kingdom

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    There's no reason for it to be this bad i think the garden gnomes are doing it on purpose

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Shut it down

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Absolute uninspired cgi trash like this and Dr. Strange making beaucoup bucks at the box office is truly demoralizing. Fucking garbage no one is going to ever remember it's the quintessential 'there ain't anything else to watch and it got people in it I recognize fuck it' movie
    Top Gun II could perhaps be the last true blockbuster of it's kind, maybe Cameron can deliver with Avatar 2... maybe... but rn it feels like we will be in this Marvel capeshit starshit sequel reboot hell for eternity
    They cant keep getting away with it

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Every single modern mainstream movie is one of the worst mainstream movies made in year

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I didn't care for it much myself, but The Secrets of Dumbledore is significantly and entirely worse. It makes Dominion look good and coherent by comparison, and it certainly wasn't.

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly they could remove all dinosaurs from this movie and it wouldn’t affect the story at all.

    Alan and the old blond one would still go to the Apple campus to find evidence for the locust plague, Chris Pratt and the chubby red one would still also go there to save the annoying clone bitch that got kidnapped (for whatever reason)

    The movie would have played out exactly the same, the dinosaurs had no influence on anything happening

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    The entire trilogy is pointless. Film 1 we invent no Dino's. People are outraged. Okay.. won't do it again. Film 2 complete fucking mess other than the ending was actually quite interesting. Film 3 answer to ending film 2 is oh yea we co live with Dino's now. No biggy.

    Okay on the last film. It wasn't good. Way to many characters and not enough screentime between them. Just fucking kick the old cast out if you want to introduce le strong black female. Or better yet don't give us more characters to follow in the last entree of this trilogy. It was all over the place and it was just some random event following up the next one. Scenes had no weight to them. People also just seemed to magically bump into one another. Oh and waaay too many memberberries.

    But it did had a couple of very good scenes in it. I loved the scene with the scissor hand dino. I thought finally some tension. They should have made her storyline much more predator like. She did drop into the middle if a fucking Dino parc ffs. Also liked icelake birddino scene. The best part of the movie was the autist corp leader. I mean he is what the world thinks the average anon looks like. Complete sperge fest. Loved him!

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      ESL's should not rely on autocorrect holy shit. This is painful, I can't even finish reading this post.

  23. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    How many people even die from Dinos in this?
    The autist bad guy and maybe 3-4 mercs?
    They also built up the Fox looking Mongolian lady as a secondary big bad and she’s just unceremoniously arrested quarter way through.

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