In a bit of a conundrum here. My niece is a blind 7 year old. Her father died when she was less than a year old so I was always in the picture helping my sister out. I've done pretty much everything around the house from cooking and cleaning to stuff like changing her diapers to even bathing her so I'm definitely more involved than a regular uncle.
Recently she got the idea of calling me "Daddy". I don't know whether it's something she picked up from school but she used to call me just by my name up until now. Frankly I'm okay with it but I feel bad knowing that she has an actual father and her mom's not exactly happy about the fact either. I tried explaining to her why I'm not her "daddy" but she put on one of those looks that you can't say no to. Making her cry over a topic as sensitive like this isn't exactly on top of my list.
Thoughts on this? Any ideas on a potential fix?
I'm a 25 year old male btw.
you're already a paternal figure to her, I don't see why her mom should have reservations about this
The other problem (besides my sister's attitudes) is that being called "Dad" in public places is really awkward. Especially when both me and my sister look pretty identical and appear as obvious siblings. The child being disabled certainly doesn't help in not causing any misunderstandings.
That's in your head.
In this degenerate world, who will call you out for that anyway? and if they do just explain your niece calls you dad because hers is dead.
Grow up and get over yourself.
>who will call you out for that anyway?
That's the problem, anon. I don't get a chance to explain that I'm not weird.
If they have a chance to accuse you, to have a chance to explain.
That's the point.
???
If they accused me, I could explain.
Your problem is them judging you, the solution is explaining.
You're just trolling now.
>the solution is explaining.
Which I can't do if I don't get a chance to. Imagine me randomly trying to explain how I'm not this kid's biological dad.
>You're just trolling now
Just a genuine concern.
If they don't openly accuse you of incest, why the hell do you care? People make thousands of incorrect silent judgements and your not concerned with any of them.
If they OPENLY accuse you you have the chance to explain
Are you ESL or retarded? Grow up, and get over yourself
>People make thousands of incorrect silent judgements and your not concerned with any of them.
Not when it's something as grave as incest.
I suppose it's a bit too retarded.
Anyway, that's not the main thing I'm concerned about.
Ok retard lets go through the different situations
They don't judge you of incest, they say nothing, you do nothing
They judge you of incest, say nothing, you do nothing
They judge you of incest, say nothing, you do nothing, they take an action based on that judgement, you explain, and get egg on thier face in every case
They judge you of incest, openly accuse you of it, you explain, they get egg on thier face in every case
Give me one scenario that doesn't follow one of these.
Holy shit please tell me zoomers aren't this socialy limp wristed, and stupid.
Alright anon. I get it.
zoomers are absolutely this socially limp wristed and stupid.
(a) Why do you think random strangers give enough of a fuck about you to think about you for more than a half second? You are not that important or significant.
(b) Nobody takes anything a 7yo kid says seriously.
(c) Why would they interpret her calling you "daddy" as meaning you're her daddy, when every non-incel on the planet knows that females of any age will call any male protector figure "daddy", even when you're nutting in her well-worn ass.
(d) They probably just assume you're diddling the kid not fucking your sister, so silent accusations of sibling incest really aren't worth worrying about.
Okay I know it was said she recently started to call you daddy, do yo know if she knows her real father is dead? Or could there possibly be more mental issues that associated with her blindness?
So you're prioritizing an irrelevant hypothetical third party's internal opinion, over the actual explicit feelings of your disabled neice?
I get itz that a weird situation to be in. Best option is to work out some other nickname name she can call you by. She obviously chose "daddy" because you are a trusted influential male figure in her life. As such a "dad". If you can find some other name or term that she understands to mean the same endearment, she might use that instead. Think of cartoon or comic characters, "big bear", "chief", anything like that. And for getting her to actually use that, talk to her mother and get her to use/start that.
This anon is on the right track. Maybe something like Pop or Popsy - you can explain that Daddy is for real fathers but this will be your and her own private name that means much the same thing.
i think is a good advice, don't have much else to say except that you sound like a really cool guy, keep it up, I wish you guys the best
Did you discuss this with your sister? Clearly, your niece wants a father figure, and you're the best one she has. She just wants someone to call dad.
Maybe, you could compromise on the matter?
She's 7 did you say? Calm down, give her room to breathe. She knows you're not here real dad, she just wants to feel more normal.
Why not a compromise like daddy-anon.
>Thoughts on this
you're gonna have to let her walk in on you fucking your sister so she can develop proper daddy issues.
>blind niece
What is she going to hear them and them feel them up in the act to find out?
A friends son calls both his mother and stepmother "mommy". Should I be concerned OP?
>A friends son calls both his mother and stepmother "mommy". Should I be concerned OP?
Does his biological mother knows? If so I would imagine it not being that much of an issue.
His biomom tricked my military friend into impregnating her for the garunteed military child welfare. She had a pacific islander boyfriend before she even gave birth to him. She is negligent to both of her sons. Later my friend met and married the stepmom. The stepmother is a fucking saint. I could not care less what the biomom wants or knows, I pray for her death for the sake of her children. It was a joke to address OP's irrationality.
What is her mother (the actual parent here) doing in all this? I know you said she's 'not exactly happy' but if that's the extent of her involvement in this issue about parenting her own daughter, I think she should maybe step up and get involved a little more. You sound like a good guy by the way anon.
>What is her mother (the actual parent here) doing in all this?
She's still somewhat sad about all of this. I'd imagine that being a single mom to a blind child is far from what her ideal dream of motherhood was like. Maybe my niece calling me "Daddy" is like cementing the fact that he's gone forever for her. She and I weren't exactly on the best of terms to begin with.
>do yo know if she knows her real father is dead?
I would imagine so.
>could there possibly be more mental issues that associated with her blindness?
I can't say. Maybe she feels left out at school being a girl without a father.
> >do yo know if she knows her real father is dead?
>I would imagine so.
I would definitely have a sit down with her and your sister and explain why she can't call you that. It's gonna suck but has to be done. But you're a good man OP hope to be like you when I grow up.
I'm 90% sure she's aware that she doesn't have a father. I'll try asking her mom to make sure though.
Make what official?
>She will likely understand in a few years that its awkward and drop it.
That might just happen.
I'm
- I second what the anon above said about having a 3 way talk about this to try to get it resolved. You need to involve all parties. Honestly, I hope you get it resolved. From what you've said here, both the kid and her mum are lucky to have someone like you in their lives anon.
You should make it official,kek.
Let her, every girl needs a daddy.
She will likely understand in a few years that its awkward and drop it.