Never had one of these. What am I in for?

Never had one of these. What am I in for?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pizza

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    greasy mediocrity

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you should order from a local chain that uses fresh ingredients for your first pizza; papa johns might leave a bad impression.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Local chains can also very easily leave a bad impression.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

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    Diahorrea and diabetes if you eat too much of that shit. Why can't you amerimutts just make real pizza?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This looks like greasy slop. Why did they put a fucking ball of butter in the middle???

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        jesus... you americans are beyond saving...

        do you only recognize food if the label is on it?

        that "ball of butter" you mother fed you with as an infant is not a ball of butter, its fucking fresh mozarella you idiot. you would only recognize it if it were processed in cube form with a mcdonalds logo on it

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

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          I'm sorry a lifetime of low quality "food product" has left you yanks unable to see what real mozzarella looks like. I'm sure picrel is a perfectly good substitute. Failing that you could just spread some CheezWhiz and ketchup on bread and call it a pizza - it's probably closer to the real thing than most of your shitty chains manage to produce.

          >they ate that low quality bait
          Euros are used to eating low quality trash so it makes sense, but Jesus christ its so easy with you guys

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

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        I'm sorry a lifetime of low quality "food product" has left you yanks unable to see what real mozzarella looks like. I'm sure picrel is a perfectly good substitute. Failing that you could just spread some CheezWhiz and ketchup on bread and call it a pizza - it's probably closer to the real thing than most of your shitty chains manage to produce.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why does the cheese look all retarded

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        because it was placed by a human being and not a american pizzabot 3000 that sprays kraft cheese out of a tube evenly on the frozen crackerpizza all american freedom my second amendment

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        1) fresh mozzarella is a lot more moist than the low moisture stuff most pizza places use, so you can only add so much before it becomes a goopy mess
        2) those kind of pizzas are cooked at much higher temperatures, which means the pizza is done before the mozzarella has time to brown

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Italian pizza is mostly about the crust and the quality of the ingredients. It's minimalist by design. American "pizza" is about how much shit-tier cheese product and greasy shit you can cram onto some mealy, sugar-leaden cracker they call a crust.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          all those carbs and grease are clouding your judgment again , Mario

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

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            We are whiter than you, Bryce

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >we
              >italians
              >white

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

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                I'm sorry you don't have any real cultural traditions beyond shitting yourself on your mobility scooters in wallmart like we have, but bastardizing our European ones and turning them shit isn't the answer.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >full of air
                I've never understood this. I like Italian pizza as much as the next guy, but what is with every pretentious cook's obsession with crispy airy bread and hatred of anything remotely chewy or dense or soft? Go into any bread thread on LULZand notice how every single person is aiming for the exact same loaf, lots of air, very chewy/crispy, if it isn't like that you've done something wrong. What gives?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >fresh basil
                woah, mama mix da single leaf changy everyting

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Don't do this to me Italiabro, I don't want to fall in love

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Hell yeah I fucking love cheese

          [log in to view media]

          We are whiter than you, Bryce

          Looks like a mexican to me

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

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          >It's minimalist by design.
          Fake Italian detected.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            First generation Italian emigre, homosexual. I'm there all the fucking time.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Lmao, then you should know there are more types of pizza than there are cities in Italy. Nobody but the most autistic of autists thinks there's some kind of absolute singular "pizza".

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I won't lie, I do love Papa John's, but...

      MUH DIK!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      looks like shit. Anyone can choose to make that style of pizza but americhad version won out. Pretty sure northern europe eats american style pizza as well.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

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        >implying Northern Europe is any authority on good taste
        ngmi

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      do you ever actually eat your "real pizza" or is america living rent free in your head again

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They probably do... reluctantly. They secretly wish they could add even o e topping. But Italian tradition dictates if you don't make it like a burnt bread bowl with watery half separated tomato juice and a couple unmelted chunks of cheese thrown on it you are excited to Sicily (which also has a much better pizza)

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Likely the only thing that "pizza" has going for it is the ingredients. Unfortunately, the push towards industrial farming and the demonization of small famers has made good ingredients difficult to find in the US. However, once you get past that, Italian pizza is basically just babbys first pizza, and they've never progressed beyond that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It breaks my heart to see europoors eat something like that with a knife and fork. I blame the barbarian hordes. Once they swept in from the north, they imposed all sorts of vile uncivilized practices on the Romans.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Easy seethy, that pizza still looks like shit and I'd be more satisfied with LCs.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is this the designated Euro seething thread

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the crust is more like bread than pizza dough
    they use soybean oil instead of olive oil
    but as chains go it's not bad
    doesn't have that shitty aftertaste pizza hut developed a few years back that started showing up in dominoes fairly recently.

    bonus points for having salami, garlic, banana peppers, anchovies and such as topping options

    As chains go, not bad, but you can find local places that are way better if you don't want to make your own.

    my goto is home made sourdough chicago style sausage and mushroom in cast iron

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Papa Johns always gives me diarrhea now. something they use for the dough. I think it used to be better. But overall it's a style of its own and can be pretty good. I always finish and feel like I didnt get satisfaction, just fatter.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >for some reason it gives me Diahorrea
      A shit tonne of sugar and salt in the sauce and dough, along with chlorinated chicken on the toppings will do that Ameranon.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm American and I hate chicken on a pizza.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >chicken
        anyone who puts chicken on a pizza gets what they deserve

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >puts chicken on pizza
          >gets enjoyment
          Thanks anon.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Papa Johns gives Italians the runs
    I bet you can't even drink milk lmao

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >muh real Italian pizza
    Europoor food is fucking goyslop - we have only improved on it. If Papa John's gives Marco the runs it probably has more to do with his intestines being fucked from all that shit wine and cured pork asshole

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

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    Why do amerimutts need to bastardize wholesome European food? Ever notice how you feel great after a classic neapolitan pizza? How do you feel after a large Domino's or whatever you fatasses stuff into your mouths in lieu of real food?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

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      >a classic neapolitan pizza
      You mean like pizza fritta? Face it, you've never been to Napoli in your life, homosexual.

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