First of all:
a) what gift should I buy for my brother's son's first bday?
b)im an unemployed NEET atm, is there anything I can easily steal that a 1 yo boy would love?
>inb4 dont buy him shit
My brother is taking us out for dinner and is probably gonna spend at least $300-400
Most idiots buy you clothes at this age but we all fucking know that clothes are shit tier gifts until you hit puberty
Get the dad a hooker and he won't care that the kid got nothing.
It's not your kid
Not your problem
>show up empty handed on your brother's son birthday while they pay for everything
fucking retard
you're logic is sound, but your solution isn't. you simply don't show up. its really that easy.
Robux or Google play card would be good ideas. Maybe some packs of yugioh cards or whatever the kids are playing.
Also make the card you're giving him by hand just draw some stuff on some Bristol board. Best of luck king
I was thinking about picrel, are 1yolds allowed that shit?
>literally say 3+ on the box
No, get a bigger, plastic car. Or truck, or tractor.
Get him a real sports car. Or better yet a private jet.
Apply olive oil to your asshole and teach him about platonic love.
>1 yo boy
a 1 year old isn't going to appreciate anything you give him. just showing up for dinner is the gift. if you want stroke your brother's ego a little bit and he won't even think about gifts.
At one he is able to start being read to. You can get a book for babies for like 2 dollars at thrift store just find one that looks in good shape and peel the sticker off. Don’t steal Anon, you are better than that.
Teach him something valuable
Like how to make meth
Or hide a hookers body where no one will ever find it
>what gift should I buy for my brother's son
Get him the same thing you got your wife's son.
pirate some old but good kids shows, put them on a usb stick, and gift it
Why not build something for your nephew?
How old is he?
1
and fat already
>the actual fucking state of this supposed guy's life
>I can't afford a fucking present for a 1 year old baby and even if I could my country isn't white anymore so I can't read the single-digit age warning on a box
>Help me politics discussion board
I had a laugh moshe but it's back to the coaster for you
nigga you think im lying, picrel wife's gifts
>women
>clothes
Molest him and give him the gift of discovering his true gender
Buy him a chain he gonna feel that drip fr fr no cap
nothing. he's 1 ffs.
This Greek poster is the biggest schizo in all of /misc/
Buy him something that promotes gender fluidity.
Κάνα Λούτρινο ή αυτοκινητάκι; Eίναι και σχετικά φθήνα, οπότε μπορείς και να τα πάρεις ως άνθρωπος και όχι σαν να είσαι γύφτος.
how about a nice book?
https://www.amazon.com/Water-Hole-Graeme-Base/dp/0810945681
I have 3 kids and from my experience the best gift for a 1 year old is money. Let the parents buy him what he needs. The baby won't even remember his birthday, so help your brother out and give him money or diapers or something.
I was thinking of a musical instrument but my brother will probably go insane
Are you mentally retarded?
This.
If you buy him a drum, your brother will know you hate him.
Babbys first saxophone
Honestly get him some miracas
THE israelite FEARS KNIFE WEILDING SAXOPHONE PLAYING ONE YEAR OLD
CERTIFICATION AND DESIGNATION
INFANT GREEK COCK
Target acquired
>a) what gift should I buy for my brother's son's first bday?
yoyo
Offer to babysit. It's free and the best gift you can give.
He's fucking 1, buy diapers or clothes. He's not going to remember shit.
regift the dinner. Order something your nephew doesn't get often and give him some as a treat.
Give his dad cash
1yr old kid won't understand anything
Bring a birthday candle, order dessert on your brother's dime, put the candle in it and give it to his son.
Give him your old hot wheels cars
Tell him you don't want to go because you can't afford a gift fuck's sakes you deserve to feel shame for being such a coward
Steal
Explain the situation to your brother and ask if you can still come.
Whittle and sand a stick into a playsword
Buy a book or something cheap that the baby can practice special reasoning with.
I offered my brother in-law Aristotle's politics for his 1 year old child.
Get a job, lil nigga
Uhh buy him choccy pudding from your uni cantina?
Case pocket knife. Builds trust, lasts generations.
https://www.amazon.com/Blanket-Toddlers-Newborn-Receiving-30x40inch/dp/B09CYCD8BS?th=1
here you go my dude
get the kid something like this
a really nice, fluffy, soft baby blanket that it can nap in
cheap and thoughtful
congrats to your brother. be a good uncle
Take brother aside at party
>times are tough brother I will take little Johnny out for a fun day when my next pay check comes in to make up for this
>next pay check take the kid and buy him a happy meal and a toy truck. You just spent less then 20 bucks and the kid had a great day
Why is your first inclination to be a thief? Disgusting.
>Why is your first inclination to be a thief
The westerner fears the balkanite
>I'm an immigrant nagger.
You cant buy him anything because you are a uselss cunt lol
>is there anything I can easily steal that a 1 yo boy would love?
His foreskin if you are a Mutt
Aren’t g*rmoids 50% Russian after all the rape done in 1945? Watch your mouth kr*ut before I shove my huge cut American cock in your little fuck hole
Ok you gotta do something. Borrow money to buy a present then make a solid point of actually paying back as soon as possible.
This is a karma neutral option. You can also lie, cheat and/or steal your way out of the situation but then again, bad karma.
get him a used copy of mein kampf, should be cheap at a 2nd hand book store
Teddy bear
Make him something
Solid advice if he can actually craft something.
How about some music the kid can listen to? Maybe something you know your brother doesn't have?
There are pixie books that cost literally pennies on Amazon. Or Some shabby wooden building blocks for 15 bucks. If you need quick cash send me your social security number and bankkng number and I'll send you some.
got paypal?
He's one year old, go out into the country and find a nice plant or sapling. Dig it up, put it in a pot, help his dad plant it. It will grow with him.