My only love

I never felt true love till age 61. I hade some tender feelings, I liked others loving me and I got hurt when they stopped paying attentions to me. But I never desired a man or longed for him. When 10 years ago I met my soul mate, I was so shaken that I could not even think properly. I could not talk before him. I left I was going to faint any minutes, my eyes blurred, I was short of breath. I got nausea every time I wanted to call him, and suffered terribly. The negative ideas were overwelming. I felt I was insane to think he may love me too. I was frightened of my emotions and passion. As he was experiencing the same thing, things got really bad. His philophobia made me doubt his feelings towards me, and mine made him doubt my love for him. So we kept torturing each other for 10 years. And only now, that I realized there is a mental condition called philophobia that makes us act like fools. I hope this awareness will help us overcome our fear and express our love as two normal persons without falling into pieces.

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