My girlfriend likes to have sex when we are together, but she never masturbates, sends nudes, or has any sexual fantasies at all. What does this mean, if anything?
My girlfriend likes to have sex when we are together, but she never masturbates, sends nudes, or has any sexual fantasies at all.
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How often does she like to have sex? Was she a virgin before you?
We dont have penetrative sex very often (its often painful for her) but we fool around and have oral sex at least once a week. She was a virgin before me, though at 25 which I think is relevant
So she tells me shes asexual or demisexual, but I still dont exactly know what that means from her she wont really explain it clearly
Do you make her cum? Also were you a virgin before her?
>Do you make her cum?
Not every time, but often enough I think. Im not given much opportunity to though, she doesnt like her pussy eaten and 75% of the sex we have is her blowing me. She will cum riding me when we do that every once in awhile.
>Also were you a virgin before her?
I was not
So I do understand those definitions, but I still dont really understand how she experiences it, if that makes sense.
>she really needs you to be physically here ?
She did say that to me once, that she only gets horny if I am around.
Honestly I don't have any first hand experience so my explanations would probably be worse than hers or those of others asexuals.
Talking about it with her again would probably be better since it seems that she already know it well enough to label herself or you can try and find someone online that may explain it to you in a better way !
In short though, you can probably remember a time (maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks) where you just didn't feel horny at all and the thought didn't even cross your mind: it should be like that, there isn't really anything to experience since it's literally her not being horny
>she doesnt like her pussy eaten
You either don't do it right or she's a weirdo. What woman doesn't like receiving oral?
Asexual basically means she has little to no libido, demisexual is a bit more precise means she need a personal bond with someone before getting horny
In your case, it feels like she doesn't really feel any need that doesn't involve you (kinda flattering tbh, you're the only one she really likes) but this doesn't exactly explain the nudes part, I'm guessing that she really needs you to be physically here ?
These are try hard terms for feelings everyone has at various stages in their life. It's just people who aren't special trying to sound different.
wow fuck you, shitlord
She's probably just asexual anon, nothing much to worry about
Anon, if picrel then it means your girlfriend is a cartoon. Otherwise, if not picrel it means she's a normal woman who feels embarrassed about her sexuality.
Stop using words you don't understand
Average woman's sex drive. Which is lower than an average man's sex drive. This is just life. Someone has to date her, and that someone is you. If you like her, just accept this is how it is.
No this is entirely wrong. Every other woman I have been with has been extremely horny.
I dont think she is embarrassed by her sexuality, because she has no problem initiating with me when we are together and she likes to try new things in bed. I am just not used to sexual expression staying entirely in bed during sex
I don't think you understand what I mean by embarrassed by her sexuality. Think of the social roles of sexuality and what society expects of the genders. Not the new progressive bullshit, the actual evolved gender roles everyone grew up with.
Think of what it is to be considered a slut for a woman and that such a term is still derogatory. That's what I mean by embarrassed about her sexuality.
It's ok under these social norms for a woman to initiate sexual acts on her partner because that's subservience. It's this whole stupid idea society has that women aren't supposed to have high libido even though they do.
Penetrative sex being painful is caused by muscle clenching. This is all about her insecurities. She doesn't want you to think poorly of her so she withholds her sexuality and instead just tries to please you.
>Think of what it is to be considered a slut for a woman and that such a term is still derogatory
I agree with you
>t's ok under these social norms for a woman to initiate sexual acts on her partner because that's subservience
Im following, but why would this then translate into her not having sexual fantasies and not sending me nudes? She has no problem with letting out her sexuality when we are together, but she seemingly doesnt think about sex at all when we are not.
>Penetrative sex being painful is caused by muscle clenching
Yea we are working on this together
>She doesn't want you to think poorly of her so she withholds her sexuality and instead just tries to please you.
So this is definitely part of it, she has told me as much. But still even now that she has told me she has done that in the past she still seemingly has no interest in sex unless we are in the room together about to have it.
Under social norms sluts send nudes, good girls don't. She has sexual fantasies, everyone does. She just doesn't feel comfortable right now sharing them because again, sluts have sexual fantasies not good girls.
She's mostly blowing you, and that's what she's initiating because that's what social norms have told her a good girl does.
That's what this whole thing is about. Most women have some degree of embarrassment over their sexuality. It's your job to be respectful, non-judgemental and supportive so she can feel comfortable with her sexuality around you.
Bullshit. The average woman's libido is significantly higher than an average man's. If her pussy is drying up that's a you problem not a low libido problem.
Yea no offense anon but this is just like when Ben Shapiro said pussies should be wet lol
betting $20 she's on anti-depressants
She is not
I see what you are saying, but I honestly dont think this is it. We have been dating for over a year and a half and have had plenty of sex, I think it really is the asexuality thing over embarrassment.
Yea I will try talking to her about it again. We are overdue a conversation about sex anyway so I will ask her more about it then too. Thanks anon.
I've been married to my wife for 15 years, we have sex 4-6 times a week and she still pretends to me she has no sexual fantasies (even though I know she does and what they are), and still pretends she doesn't wank even though I know she does and find evidence of it.
This mutilation of the word asexual (which before millennials distorted it actually means not sexual because you breed with yourself) is just a smokescreen. Every woman feels low libido if she isn't sexually stimulated, but then so does every man.
The difference is where men are stimulated visually, women are stimulated mentally/emotionally.
Interesting. Ok anon thanks I will think about that.
I think I am pretty good at it, she used to like it but shes afraid of getting an infection (she has hypochondriac tendencies) now so she doesnt want it. Ive begged her to eat her pussy lol
1 in 3 people in general population are on anti-depressants. Even just at general population level those are good odds. Winning that bet requires absolutely zero insight.
Women have lower libido on average. There's still horny women. The ones with next to no libido are driving the average down
>shes afraid of getting an infection (she has hypochondriac
So she has some issues. Embarrassment? Not exactly.
Judging from everything you've said in this thread, it truly appears to me like she just doesn't have any significant sexual desire and she just sex to please you. The fact that your sex is mostly blowjobs really seals that for me. It's a relatively ease way for her to fulfill her "obligation" as a girlfriend. It could be the embarrassment point the other anon brought up, but I don't think so.
The question is whether your satisfied with this arrangement. Is this sex life adequate for you or do you really wish you had a more enthusiastic partner?
Offer to her weed or alcohol, in moderation, before sex. Drugs are much beneficial to women than men before sex.
This will free her slutiness.
This is most probably not a physical problem, just mental.
My wife is the same, it has to do with her religious upbringing, I think.
Ask her.
Nobody here can actually know. We're all guessing based on the 1 sentence you wrote. My guess is that she just has a low sex drive, and doesn't usually do much, but you satisfy her enough that she doesn't really do anything else. Which is fine.
It's also possible that she's asexual and only has sex for physical reasons (yes, asexual girls still need to cum sometime), or just does it for you. Either way, ask her.