My brother is about to be homeless. I can't take him in. How do I help him? He has no money, no job, no car and his license is suspended for driving without insurance. He also does drugs and I suspect he is bipolar. Literally worst case scenario. Wtf do I do? Only thing he has is a cellphone that I pay for.
There isn't much you can do for a druggie unfortunately.
Has he talked about quitting drugs or is in deep with it?
Well he can't do them right now cause no money, but I have no way of stopping him when he gets money.
Fuck wtf do I do??
take him in
I wish I could, but I cannot at the moment. Long story short, he quit his job and I couldn't afford our apartment by myself. Im living with relatives who don't want him there.
No. Bad advice. No, no, no.
If you haven't been through trying to.help someone in really bad shape, dont give advice. I know for a fact youve never had a crisis case on your hands by this advice alone.
Where are your parents/any other relatives in this scenario? Why can't you take him in? It sounds like he's made his bed, and if he's at all coherent/not some schizo retard, lying in it may teach him a lesson. From your description though he does seem like some helpless leech pos. I've dealt with plenty of these people, and some are legitimately disadvantaged, will seem friendly, but are ready to lie cheat and steal (from you) at any moment
The best thing you can do right now is look up homeless shelters in your area and check on vacancies
Our parents are dead. Im staying with relatives who don't want him. Hes a lot to deal with, but he's not a rambling schizo or a murderous junkie.
No one can help him but himself the only help you can offer is attention and food
I’m a druggie and nothing works especially when you don’t have the will to live people think the drugs make you miserable but people do drugs because they’re already miserable without them
Only option is rehab but we know that’s not gonna happen just remind him you love him , it registers even if he doesn’t show it
The only thing you could really do is give him opportunities.
There are people who own run-down homes in a less than desirable neighborhood, and rent out a room dirt cheap (~$600 a month). Often there are minimum wage jobs in walking distance.
If you can find one, through craigslist or other internet searches, often the owner has dealt with drug addicts and mentally ill coming in and out and can rotate them out incredibly fast. They also set-up there home to accommodate this, as they can't sell the home, and are still going to be taxed on it.
I'm schizo and I almost lived in one after my parents found it along with a job across the street at a fried chicken place, and I noped the fuck out of there and got my shit together real quick.
The real advice you dont want to hear, wonr listen to, will realize later was correct:
You cannot help him. He has to help himself. These people are bulls in a china shop.
The best thing you can do, direct him to appropriate medical care, make him feel cared about, if you MUST give, give only what you can afford, no more, and provide only whats reasonable to.provide.
But you cannot save him. Likely hes doomed.
Op, I beg you. Stay with him. Do all that you can.
I live with regrets I can’t shake off.
Not Op.
Remove your burden. Nothing you could have done. If we went to a universe you did all you could, theure still gone, and youre way worse off. Ok? Ok.
It is not true though, there was so much more to it, I messed up and they overdosed and died. Addiction is different, there is less you can do like in OP’s situation. I don’t know if my person was addicted or just got a bad batch or relapsed or something, it haunts me.
>He also does drugs
DO NOT (ABSOLUTELY NOT) LET HIM LIVE WITH YOU UNTIL HE IS CLEAN.
I’m in similar situation as your brother
And this post really breaks my heart ,you’re a good person and it’s endearing to hear you still care about him don’t give up on him but don’t throw away your life trying to help him , we’re manipulative and selfish I can feel the love through my phone screen it’s sad how low drugs can drag a human being the fact is we’re mentally Ill ,, I hope the best for the both of you , I’m a piece of human garbage
You talk just like he does. Your post makes me wanna cry. I wish you the best too, anon. I wish life didn't have to be this way.
Please don’t I only see myself killing myself because my loved one overdosed. The pain never ends. So much pain. Please, when you are alive, it’s not too late. I need someone to consider this, so another person doesn’t go through what I went through. Mental illness isn’t a death sentence, help is available, also for addiction. I swear you are not as bad as you think, I only read desperation in your post.
Thank you op I truly appreciate those words he needs you and it will get better for us all
(not op, but i hope so too. please take care)
You can't enable him by taking care of things for him. He has to rough it on his own, come to terms with things, and make strides himself. You can be supportive of him by keeping in contact and maintaining your relationship, but it is not your responsibility to get his life on track. It sounds heartless, but it is the best thing. You need to look out for yourself first, then help others without them dragging you down with them. You seem like a good guy, but don't be afraid to enforce boundaries for your own sake.
My brother was recently facing homelessness, being without a vehicle or license, and had a warrant out for his arrest. He likes pot, but I seriously doubt he does anything worse than that. He lives on the other side of the country by our other brother and friends, so I wasn't able to monitor the situation so closely.
I feel bad about not being able to be there for him. He ended up, from what I understand, mostly getting off rather lightly and being in a much better place right now.
I know my brother's situation is far different from what you guys are going through, but I guess if there's any advice I could give it would be that once he's on the up, things can unfuck themselves pretty quickly. It only takes someone to be there to help him stabilize once he's willing to get things in order. Hopefully you guys can use these words of hope and find a future to aim for.
So, I have three pieces of advice.
First, do not ever give him money. Do not ever give him things he can pawn for drugs. What you can do is buy him lunch, drive him to appointments, help him organize his life so he actually shows up for stuff. Offer to keep important, but non-valuable possessions so he doesn't lose them. Keepsakes, birth certificates, etc.
Two, remain in contact with him. Make plans to visit regularly, meet him downtown for lunch, take a walk with him, etc.
Three, do not pressure him to do anything, but do bring up rehab, do bring up treatment in a respectful and non-confrontational manner. Don't push the issue though.
I dealt with this with my brother, except he was an ex-con with a meth habit who'd alienated the rest of our family. Ultimately, by being around and keeping in touch, it really helped keep him centered and remind him there was something beyond the drugs. Granted, it didnt get him clean, what got him clean was he started dealing to support his habit and found out his paranoia about cops was completely founded as they'd been keeping tabs on him and as soon as he started selling they had him arrested within a week. The judge noted his complete lack of violent incidents since being released and basically said you are on probation, if you interact with the cops, miss or fail a piss test, or miss a meeting with your probation office you are getting five years. The threat of going back to jail got him cleaned up for good.
He needs more or better friendships in his life, for starters. Humor and love go a long way so he'll need to clean up and get heart broken again. Sit him down and talk to him. God bless people who seriously try to get thru to those in pain, sometimes all you have to do is listen. Get him to detox on his own and just be a funny mother fucker when he's sober. Maybe remind him of those low points whenever payday rolls around. Addiction is soup crushing and gets worse, talk to him. Love will set him free. I hope y'all defeat it and become stronger and better together