Master of Reality [Warner Bros., 1971]


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Master of Reality [Warner Bros., 1971]
As an increasingly regretful spearhead of the great Grand Funk switch, in which critics redefined GFR as a 1971 good old-fashioned rock and roll band even though I've never met a critic (myself included) who actually played the records, I feel entitled to put this in its place. Grand Funk is like an American white blues band of three years ago--dull. Black Sabbath is English--dull and decadent. I don't care how many rebels and incipient groovies are buying. I don't even care if the band members believe in their own Christian/satanist/liberal murk. This is a dim-witted, amoral exploitation. C-

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cool tweet. How do I unsubscribe?

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    just think. it's been half a century since he wrote this and still nobody has managed to figure out what the hell he's trying to say here.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      A lot of music critics liked to ape the style of Gonzo journalism, which works for something like the Kentucky Derby, but not really rock albums.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'll give Christgau this: at least he's open about hating heavy metal/prog rock because it's white male music, unlike the rest of his peers.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He actually hates it because it sounds like shit.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        He said he thought King Crimson were the worst band simply because they were the most “pretentious”. You’re retarded if you think Cuckgau is an objective review

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >He said he thought King Crimson were the worst band simply because they were the most “pretentious
          Which they were. Have you listened to their music? What is as pretentious as In the Court of the Crimson King in 1969? The only thing that comes close is Ummagumma by Pink Floyd.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I have several of their albums. What’s “pretentious” about debut?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fuck off back to hell Lester Bangs.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did this homosexual actually get filtered by a one of the greatest and most straightforward metal albums of all time? The first track is literally just about weed while a killer riff plays, how can you possibly get filtered by that?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      By being evil

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Because it sounds like shit and there's more to music than "muh riffs"

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Master of Reality is bad

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Acclaimed record exists
          >lol this sucks
          Story of LULZ

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Acclaimed record exists
          >lol this sucks
          Story of LULZ

          Yes, it's horrible. Just because critics pretend to enjoy Black Sabbath after The Osbourne's came out doesn't change that fact.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >there are Christgau simps on LULZ

            Critic's got their bitch-ass got btfo when their attempted punching bag remained relevant and legendary decades later. It's just rectifying the opinions of dumb fart-huffing boomer cliques.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Acclaimed record exists
          >lol this sucks
          Story of LULZ

          Kek, hit the nail on the head

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Go back to your Springsteen records you homosexual

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He has a vocal dislike of rock with big crunchy riffs, he's said so on numerous occasions.

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