Major Gnome Update

Gnome activity is through the roof and I have been recording the evidence on my phone.
The first incident occurred yesterday. The thermometer in my shrimp tank was moved to a vertical position. There is no way that this occurred naturally. And it would have taken the concerted effort of all my shrimp working together in order to set it vertical. Why would they do that? That's unrealistic. It has to be gnomes.
The second incident occurred later that day. My gf's hair fork went missing! As per usual, she cried and we searched the entire house for hours. But when we returned to our living room, things took a turn for the worse. My that I had been using had vanished into thin air.
I later found it on the floor.

But the really supernatural thing was when we discovered my gf's hair fork expertly returned to her skin care bag.

Be on guard for increased gnome activity. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As usual, I will post photographic evidence of the gnome activity.
    Pictured is the thermometer in my shrimp tank. Not pictured are the shrimp, but they're just hiding.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This picture was taken just this morning. As you can see, the hair fork that was missing all day yesterday has been returned.
      I will keep you updated if further events take place.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >oncerted effort of all my shrimp working together in order to set it vertical. Why would they do that? That's unrealistic. It has to be gnomes.
    yeah?

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I love this post.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The gnomes will smile upon you

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    they're growing bolder
    we're running out of time

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Checked, gnome pilled, and frankly, I am glad to hear about your update.
    Gnomes are on the rise!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      where my fucken gnome gang at!!!! CHYEEEAH!!

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous
  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Remember to leave them slice of HOMEBAKED cake near doors.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      is bread alright? i can't remember if bread was for gnomes or for the lyran cat aliens.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If gnomes eat porridge, and it is fair to say that they do, then bread should be alright.
        What is porridge, but a bowl of bread ingredients, watered down?
        Anyway, wouldn't cat people want meat?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Gnomes love bread, particularly if it was homemade. Put some honey on it so it's sweet. They also like small cakes and also blueberries.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Oh hey! Glad to see another gnome thread. I would like to use this space to share a little testimony.
    Recently I have injured the gnomes by telling horrible things about them right here on /x/.
    Next day my toilet got clogged, and when I cleaned the pipe, I have found a pinecone in the midst of it.
    Then my dogs started acting weird around the woods, whimpering and dragging me back home for no reason.
    Then one of my dog's collar broke into two for no reason, as if cut by a small knife.
    Then a bunch of coins disappeared from my room, as well as other miscellaneous items.
    I've got several phonecalls with no number and only breathing on the other side in 5 days, and someone knocked on my door, however when I came out nobody was there.
    I also heard strange noises in the night for a few nights.
    Afterwards I've apologized to the gnomes on here, as well as left some tasty treats around the dark corners of my home. I have also planted a fruit tree and a bunch of strawberry bushes near the woods, making it obvious that the gnomes are welcome to partake in those, since I am allergic to strawberries.
    Next day nothing bad happened. And the day after that. Currently I am free of gnomish antics and shenanigans for a week now.
    I feel thankful and blessed. I was acting rotten and they humbled me. I now love the gnomes and shall never badmouth them again.

    I love gnomes!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      May the gnomes bless and protect you, anon.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    my area is at an all time low, city killed all amanitas in the area years ago and the populations never recovered 🙁

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Smell my colon you homosexual.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You little mischief maker!

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hey anon do you have a carbon monoxide detector in your home

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, why?

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    don't mess with the little people. they will fuck you up over dumb petty shit.

    https://www.brighteon.com/e40031f7-4403-4d0b-a261-dcb678787a0b

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Weird to think of Joe Rogan as a toddler.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's literally a picture of him, he's only 5'9"

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    "gnomes moved the thermometer in my shrimp tank"
    is this a schizo larp or are you genuinely mentally ill?

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I want to have sex with a hot 1 foot gnome girl and live with them in their gnome society. At first, I would be an outcast, not accepted by anyone, especially the more established and older gnomes. But, with my human body I would be able to do 5x the labor of one gnome in the same time.

    Eventually, I would prove myself through focusing on my gnome wife and my hard work for the gnomes. I would get permission from the eldest Gnome to marry her as time goes on. I would be one of the gnomes. She would look beautiful in her dress. After that, I don't think a tactical missile directed at my balls would be able to stop my constant creampieing of her. We would have so many fucked up mutant human/gnome babies.

    The human gnome hybrids will be stronger then the original gnomes though. With the strength of a human but the craftiness of a gnome. And after impregnating my gnome wife over the decades, we would finally have enough gnome hybrids to take over the original gnomes. And I, their father, would lead us to victory.

    At that point, I can take the secret Gnome elixir of immortality and live eternal, soaking my hot purebred gnome wife with my cum until the sun dies out

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Your kids would be gnome mutts.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Best part of ur story is how u admit that 5 gnomes could overwhelm u and beat u up

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I like pronouncing it GEE NOME for shits and giggles

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When I see those circles in the fields where the grass grows really well around the outside of the circle, is that gnomes or fairies? I've always called them fairy rings but I have no idea where the name came from or when I started calling them that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i dont remember, but if youre interested, i would recommend passport to magonia by jacques vallée

      https://archive.org/details/PassportToMagonia--UFOsFolkloreAndParallelWorldsJacquesVallee1993

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is a fairy ring. When you find mushrooms growing in a complete circle.

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    maybe stop hitting the meth pipe for a couple days

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm just here to sincerely apologize to the gnomes for any transgressions I have made upon their domain. Please let me know how I can do so.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hey any gnomes in this thread, it's me Baldur. I'm back. Glad yall are doin good work, but I need some help, need to activate more of yall but I am having issues with time and "currency", would grately appreciate any help from my homies.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why you touch my shit
      at least put it back where you found it or leave a note when you're borrowing it so i know
      jeez worst roommates

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        clumsy, got put on slow hardware.
        gaia leads me to do the things I do.
        light work is a lot of work.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I lived in a really haunted jungle area in Florida. Lots of stories of dog man, and I personally have seen fairies, shadow people and gnomes.
    I lived in a trap house and we would see a gnome sprinting from hiding spot to hiding and giggling real evil like in the backyard at night. There is a hole in the floor in the bathroom and whenever I take a leak that no we’re going to the house and laugh as soon as the pee hit the water. I would laugh this maniacal laugh, like it was the funniest thing that it had ever heard. It was fast too. I’d say it could accelerate from 0 to 30 mph and a fraction of a second.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did you ever try to interact with it?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >gnomes are laughing at him when he takes his dick out
      Damn, anon.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thank you for the heads up king.

    I too can attest to increased gnome activity. My chickens have a been spending more time in their coop instead of frolicking outside. The only explanation is the gnome menace is scaring them indoors. Additionally, my plants keep getting uprooted. Definitely gnomes playing nasty games.

    I tried to be friendly and appease them by leaving beer and Bavarian pretzels as people here always recommend, but to no avail. So I’ve begun trying to curse them by encoding gematria curses into the foods I leave them. Will update, if I live.

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Always post in gnome threads.
    Always bump gnome threads.

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >My that I had been using had vanished into thin air.
    Did the gnomes steal your nouns?

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