Long term boymoding/manmoding

Hey anons, I was wondering if anyone here has real experience doing this. I've been on HRT for six months and I don't have an ounce of social dysphoria, I literally just prefer my brain on estrogen instead of testosterone along with physical things like softer skin and hair preservation. I also have severe social anxiety and already have to battle the "everyone is looking at me" thoughts as it is, so I really think that ever presenting fem would kill me, since everyone would ACTUALLY be looking at me instead of it just being an illogical thought.
So how possible is it? The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed, so that kind of worries the frick out of me. How much truth is there in the "uncanny alien" look that people say it brings? Just be honest with me anons, I really need to know the truth of where I'm headed. Is it really just a certified road to ruin?

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    People will suspect something is off fairly soon. You’ll have to spend all your time in public trying to hide your breasts. Your pheromones will change. People will smell you’re a girl.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      People will think you're fat and have man boobs, smell doesn't matter.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, the emaciated twink with long hair and beautiful clear skin is obviously actually just a fat dude

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >People will smell you’re a girl.
      ppl say this but what does it actually mean

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's honscience. HRT is mostly going to make you stop smelling like a man

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          how is changing your biochemistry and subsequent hormonal secretions honscience lol

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            pheromones and not something humans have dipshit

            >But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you
            I can definitely confirm that part. They don't act like I'm a girl or anything but I can tell they don't see me as a guy like them

            it's honestly how I was treated till like 16

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >pheromones and not something humans have dipshit
            I'm not insisting they're pheremones
            it's about the secretion of steroids and their consumption by axillary microflora
            not like there's hundreds of journals on that topic or anything
            moron
            https://www.jidonline.org/article/S0022-202X(15)34683-2/fulltext
            not like radically changing your biochemistry would affect any of these things, directly or indirectly, of course

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >People will smell you’re a girl.
          ppl say this but what does it actually mean

          my smell changed pretty quickly on HRT. idk if its a "girlsmell" but its definitely not a man smell.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I smell like a wet dog when i'm sweaty instead of like onions

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            idk i smell like onions sounds like a skill issue

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, the emaciated twink with long hair and beautiful clear skin is obviously actually just a fat dude

      Aa the years add up it just gets increasingly weird, and for me it was less than 3 total. You might not pass but you will very obviously start looking suspiciously young and off compares to your peers especially if you're hitting mid 20s or later. People will recognize something is up with you even if they can't pin what. But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you

      Don't listen to them OP, nobody will ever notice.

      • 10 months ago
        botE

        Ok anon if thats you please just part your hair normally holy shit, that hair style is just shooting yourself in the foot

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        were you hondosed?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          No i'm DIY

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        soon 4 years of manmoding and yeah, i'm unhinged and depressed but things were even worse without estrogen

        iwn have uzi sucking on my manboobs while i whisper to him to grow his hair longer
        😐

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        you were much more cute with no hrt ;_;

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        fix your hair and you could easily pass, why are you doing this to yourself, you're so cute

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I have never malefailed in my life

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        holy shit anon please get lip filler & save yourself

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Lip filler won't fix my midface

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Aw Uzi, you can pass just ignore the midface and work on other stuff. Or like stop caring about passing and get lip filler anyway to look cuter, it's nbd

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    5 years hrt manmoder here

    It is torture second only to repping

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    i'm a long term manmoder and get away with it because i'm very masculine, but if you're more androgynous to start with then people are going to start noticing things and placing you in the gender uncanny valley

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm six years deep and it's going okay. As long as your breasts don't grow too big people won't be able to call you out for definite. Most just seem to find it a bit odd how young I look. I get the occasional person saying they thought I was a girl but that happens two or three times a year tops. Baring huge breasts there is nothing physically stopping you from maintaining this indefinitely.
    Mentally it's another question. Depending on your level of social anxiety you might find it stressful over the years to constantly hide that side of yourself. It might piss you off that you can't go topless or swimming with friends that don't know. The reduced muscle mass can be a pain in the ass if you work manual labor like me.
    Biggest issue usually comes from being trans. You're doing something to transition but you will never quite get there. That can leave you very dissatisfied and wondering what you are doing with your life. But there's perks to it too so it's not that terrible.
    Ultimately long-term boymoding means taking the lukewarm middle path that's not great and not terrible.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I have a similar experience manmoding for 3+ years.
      People think I look a bit odd and younger than my age, but that's about it. I've male failed two or three times during my whole transition.
      Hiding breasts is a pain in the butt. Hoodies don't work anymore, even oversized shirts don't really hide them that well. If they keep growing I'll probably have to wear a binder.
      Apart from that, HRT by itself is great, would recommend.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        You don't have to hide your breasts

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I will continue hiding them as long as I don't pass (which is forever)

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Am I actually supposed to feel mental changes from HRT (beyond less libido)?
    Personally, my HRT has only become more massive and debilitating since I started HRT, because I am excepting things to change and it's not happening.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      i think you forgot a word

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Aa the years add up it just gets increasingly weird, and for me it was less than 3 total. You might not pass but you will very obviously start looking suspiciously young and off compares to your peers especially if you're hitting mid 20s or later. People will recognize something is up with you even if they can't pin what. But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you
      I can definitely confirm that part. They don't act like I'm a girl or anything but I can tell they don't see me as a guy like them

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I did something like this for a few years. Was on HRT the whole time but skinny so I had no breasts and a very clockable face. I didnt really care about trying to pass at the time and just presented butch. If i was gonna be in contact with people for a while, like at work, id come out but otherwise wouldnt volunteer that i was trans. Didnt even wear a bra for the most part. Never had any issues with people asking or anything. I just used men's bathrooms and shit if there wasnt a gender neutral one. But i was in a pretty gay friendly city so your experience might be different.

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've been manmoding for ten months now, it's kinda easier because I'm out to close friends and family and enby but in public/at work I'm just a slightly softer dude. It's not bad honestly. Last night I went out with this streamer dude for drinks since he's visiting my city, one person in the chat said something like "this guy is very feminine" but my voice and face are really masc still so those comments are rare. I'm not sure I can do this forever either, but I feel like I'm too tall and too fat to enjoy presenting fem anyway, furthest I go is putting on some XL women's jorts when I go to the bars. I dunno, manmoding sucks, but I get what I deserve, y'know?

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 4 years hrt post ffs and still boymoding
    It's fine but I'm gonna try to start girlmoding so summer doesn't kill me and I want a bf

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    idk i'm at month 13 and i'm already getting looks even though i started at 26 and am 6'0. people treat me like a homosexual/a harmless man which is both nice at times and stressful. it's also really depressing because i feel left out of both cis life and trans life. i have other stuff to do beside transition so i don't really care for now but i don't think i can sustain this forever.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      kindve my experience, people just see me as vaguely homosexual

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    just keep your hair short and ime you can boymode forever.

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >So how possible is it?
    Depends on what HRT does for you. It didn't do much for me so I'm still boymoding in peace after six years.
    >The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed
    Dysphoria does that to you, yeah. I initially had very little social dysphoria, but developed it over time.
    >How much truth is there in the "uncanny alien" look that people say it brings?
    Not much if you actually commit to boy/manmoding and learn to dress for your look.
    >Is it really just a certified road to ruin?
    You are a troony, you've been on a certified road to ruin since the moment you were conceived.

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    People reat you as a homosexual, a weirdo or a loser.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Joke's on them i'm all of the above in addition to being a troony

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've been manmoding for 1.5 years so far, still look unquestionably male, constant suicidal ideation because I know that I'll never pass or even start malefailing and it's all pointless, will probably kill myself eventually

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I know I'll never pass so I plan to manmode forever.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      this was the only way I could allow myself to start hrt was by acknowledging this and doing it anyway

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed
    3 years hrt here and this is me I'm sorry but repressing until your 30s or later really fricks you up most times, I don't know how much of it is hinged on the gender identity expression or whatever but it seems like if you're choosing to associate with the manmoder label you're probably kind of fricked in some way even if that's just because you're bdd

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I used to think it was repping that long that fricks you up, but I'm starting to think it might go the opposite way and it's being fricked up by childhood trauma that causes you to repress for so long. The healthy people just troon earlier

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Im 100% happy and have been boymoding for about 3 years. I have a job and a husband. I do look confusing, but once people realize im not going to have an sjw tantrum if they say "he" everything is back to normal.
    It is 100% doable.

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've been on HRT for 6 years and nobody suspects a thing, not even my family
    The only thing that has changed is that people think I'm younger than I actually am
    I'm not unhinged but I feel like I'm uniquely stable for some reason
    The most unstable I ever get is crying in the shower, not posting hysterical messages wherever I can and threatening suicide or shaving my head or throwing my HRT, etc
    I guess I'm depressed but I think I'd be less stable and more unhappy without HRT

  19. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 1 yr and 1 month on hrt and no one suspects a thing. Though I have gotten "you look like a girl comments" but they're def joking or something

  20. 10 months ago
    toucan

    about 1.5yrs here and no one suspects or says anything, fwiw
    have to hide my chest though

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah hiding chest is a given
      For so long people have been like 'lol but your chest people will notice that' like no shit that's why you hide it you nincompoop
      I don't want to go around with a man's face and breasts

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    as a pooner with an unpassable skeletal structure, i plan on doing the reverse

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Isn't T too strong for that

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not for some.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          If you grow out your facial hair, everyone will assume you're a guy who was like malnourished as a child or something. Combine with T voice and IMO 99% of FTMs can "pass" (as somewhat odd manlets). Gain some fat and muscle to hide you female bones, embrace dwarfmode. But if you got fricked on body/facial hair growth and/or you want to be a smooth twink (like most fujoshi guys) you're gonna have a hard time.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >you want to be a smooth twink (like most fujoshi guys) you're gonna have a hard time.
            exactly why i will resort to long term girlmoding unless i can get my skeleton fixed surgically, which is incredibly unlikely

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Why is being smooth and twinkish more important to you than passing? No judgement I'm an mtf perma manmoder, I'm just curious

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            i want to look good to myself and reach perfection. another reason is that i associate beards, body hair, and fat with pooner bearmoders/fubmoders so i would be unable to pass to myself (even while "passing" in a progressive place where people are aware of ftms). i plan on indefinite girlmoding (femininely, in a way that accentuates my few masculine features) because being perceived as a butch is the ftm equivalent of being perceived as a drag queen while mtf, and (if i attempt masculine presentation) people seeing a dyke is inevitable with my height and skeletal structure without bearmoding/fubmoding

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I do appreciate FUBs and bears but nothing makes me melt like an androgynous T-butch. You do you anon, you're probably my ideal type of partner and out of my league. I too want to reach perfection but I have a long ways to go. Godspeed.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            the whole point is not to look like a butch though

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    3 years hrt and post FFS but still dont pass. I mail fail occasionally and I've had guys giving me 'the eye' randomly in the street. I started a new job 6months ago and they all assumed I was trans so I confused them all when I insisted I'm a male. I have to wear a binder even in hoodies now. Long term the plan is to get more surgeries and hope I can go further into femme territory.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's so silly and fun anon. Insisting you're just a cis guy when you obviously look trans. Manmode, mansplain, manipulate!

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    manmoders, would getting electrolysis make you look younger or uncanny? I'm a 2 year hrt manmoder and want to get more hair removed but I have interviews over the next few months and don't want to get rejected for looking weird

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nah. You'll just look like a guy who likes a close shave. Just don't get overtreated like me, I'm several months out from a full face session that has completely ruined my face with scarring and hyperpigmentation :/

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    im at 9ish months (7.5 were hondose) and apparently everybody can tell so idk if it’s really possible but im stuck in this limbo until i can get ffs

  25. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's entirely genetic OP. Some people will be completely incapable of boymoding due to breasts, others will never have any significant chest growth and can boymode forever.

    Stay on HRT OP. Your anxiety will be more manageable with HRT and stepping off it will make you want to die.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I just stopped HRT today for ffs, can't wait to see what happens to my mental state .-.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        youll power through it. T really is poison and you cant go back to it

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah I'm not looking forward to it, maybe yes just placebo but I think my boysmell is coming back already. I'm doing two rounds (forehead+nose, then cheekbones+jaw). So it'll be like.. 6 weeks off HRT in total? Whatever, at least it's for a good reason. Frick these bones, delete all bones

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            its placebo, but it will be back before you can get back on. really take care of yourself, hope you have a good friend group to carry you through it, youll actually be suicidal, not even counting the surgery pain and how you'll think you'll never recover

            happens to everybody.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's really dumb. Are surgeons open to campaigning against stopping E if you're on monotherapy? I'm gonna ask mine before I book and provide evidence if possible. I can't see a reason why not if anti androgens aren't involved.
            Like surely the stress of going from E to T to E dominant wouldn't be great for healing, especially wrt the psychological aspect

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            its outdated info plus not much research on it, afaik there's no significant danger from estrogen hrt and complications from ffs, but im not a doctor.

            I wont tell you to ignore your surgeon, but some women do and are just fine. But every living person will tell you they've driven without a seatbelt and were just fine.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's really dumb. Are surgeons open to campaigning against stopping E if you're on monotherapy? I'm gonna ask mine before I book and provide evidence if possible. I can't see a reason why not if anti androgens aren't involved.
            Like surely the stress of going from E to T to E dominant wouldn't be great for healing, especially wrt the psychological aspect

            Thanks anons. I'm just gonna do what they suggest, but I really don't want to lose my hair so I'll probably stay on finasteride at least. Spiking my DHT cannot be good for me.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I'd gun for Dutasteride if you can. Simply on the basis it inhibits all 3 isoforms of 5 alpha reductase vs fin only inhibiting types 2 & 3. Hair follicles do express type 1 :v

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Not sure I can find dutasteride here in Thailand, I already have fin so it'll have to suffice.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Can you order a 4-6 months supply as a stopgap, maybe? Idk if any of the pharms on the cafe ship to Thailand. 4 months to build up towards a steady state, then titrate off and back onto fin. Should 'only' be about $75 or so w/shipping, give or take a bit, depending on import tax. I've heard Thailand is meant to be quite strict on importing stuff tho, so I understand if not if that's the case.

  26. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    anyone who boymodes for more than 2 years is an agp homosexual and should be executed immediately

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      But i am AM an agp homosexual

  27. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm man mode for 7 months so far and nobody says anything. I sometimes get compliments on my hair or skin quality from older women (~30-40ish) but that's it. They just think I'm a young man who takes care of his skin. I have to hide my chest but tbh on my frame it just looks like I'm fat if I wear a hoodie and don't bind. I am a bit overweight though so maybe once I've lost like 30 pounds I'll get the side eye.

  28. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Speaking of this I'm probably gonna be presenting male for a year or so and I want some fashion advice to hide boobs for casual and office and stuff

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tight sports bra with pads removed, undershirt, men's dress shirt. Sorted. Of course if you have huge breasts you'll need a suit jacket as well.

  29. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm going to manmode forever because I don't care about presenting female and I'll never pass anyway.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Anyone passes with good levels, time, and effort!

  30. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m almost 2 years hrt.
    Either you die a man, or you live long enough to see yourself become a hon.
    I get asked pronouns rarely, but I am and am seen as a man.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why not wear makeup and grow hair out?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Hair was longer, I’m doing incremental split end removal atm so it’s been short. Also because I work around all old white doctors who would cringe and laugh at me while making my work life hell.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Makes sense. I manmode the 1 day a week I have to show face at work too.

  31. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I manmoded for 1 year til I could pass relatively well with makeup and without being obnoxiously androgynous. Then I womanmoded. No one stared like I thought they would. No one cared.

  32. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    My boobs grew too huge, how do I hide them?

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