Hey anons, I was wondering if anyone here has real experience doing this. I've been on HRT for six months and I don't have an ounce of social dysphoria, I literally just prefer my brain on estrogen instead of testosterone along with physical things like softer skin and hair preservation. I also have severe social anxiety and already have to battle the "everyone is looking at me" thoughts as it is, so I really think that ever presenting fem would kill me, since everyone would ACTUALLY be looking at me instead of it just being an illogical thought.
So how possible is it? The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed, so that kind of worries the fuck out of me. How much truth is there in the "uncanny alien" look that people say it brings? Just be honest with me anons, I really need to know the truth of where I'm headed. Is it really just a certified road to ruin?
People will suspect something is off fairly soon. You’ll have to spend all your time in public trying to hide your breasts. Your pheromones will change. People will smell you’re a girl.
People will think you're fat and have man boobs, smell doesn't matter.
Yeah, the emaciated twink with long hair and beautiful clear skin is obviously actually just a fat dude
>People will smell you’re a girl.
ppl say this but what does it actually mean
It's honscience. HRT is mostly going to make you stop smelling like a man
how is changing your biochemistry and subsequent hormonal secretions honscience lol
pheromones and not something humans have dipshit
it's honestly how I was treated till like 16
>pheromones and not something humans have dipshit
I'm not insisting they're pheremones
it's about the secretion of steroids and their consumption by axillary microflora
not like there's hundreds of journals on that topic or anything
retard
https://www.jidonline.org/article/S0022-202X(15)34683-2/fulltext
not like radically changing your biochemistry would affect any of these things, directly or indirectly, of course
my smell changed pretty quickly on HRT. idk if its a "girlsmell" but its definitely not a man smell.
I smell like a wet dog when i'm sweaty instead of like onions
idk i smell like onions sounds like a skill issue
Don't listen to them OP, nobody will ever notice.
Ok anon if thats you please just part your hair normally holy shit, that hair style is just shooting yourself in the foot
were you hondosed?
No i'm DIY
soon 4 years of manmoding and yeah, i'm unhinged and depressed but things were even worse without estrogen
iwn have uzi sucking on my manboobs while i whisper to him to grow his hair longer
😐
you were much more cute with no hrt ;_;
fix your hair and you could easily pass, why are you doing this to yourself, you're so cute
I have never malefailed in my life
holy shit anon please get lip filler & save yourself
Lip filler won't fix my midface
Aw Uzi, you can pass just ignore the midface and work on other stuff. Or like stop caring about passing and get lip filler anyway to look cuter, it's nbd
5 years hrt manmoder here
It is torture second only to repping
i'm a long term manmoder and get away with it because i'm very masculine, but if you're more androgynous to start with then people are going to start noticing things and placing you in the gender uncanny valley
I'm six years deep and it's going okay. As long as your breasts don't grow too big people won't be able to call you out for definite. Most just seem to find it a bit odd how young I look. I get the occasional person saying they thought I was a girl but that happens two or three times a year tops. Baring huge tits there is nothing physically stopping you from maintaining this indefinitely.
Mentally it's another question. Depending on your level of social anxiety you might find it stressful over the years to constantly hide that side of yourself. It might piss you off that you can't go topless or swimming with friends that don't know. The reduced muscle mass can be a pain in the ass if you work manual labor like me.
Biggest issue usually comes from being trans. You're doing something to transition but you will never quite get there. That can leave you very dissatisfied and wondering what you are doing with your life. But there's perks to it too so it's not that terrible.
Ultimately long-term boymoding means taking the lukewarm middle path that's not great and not terrible.
I have a similar experience manmoding for 3+ years.
People think I look a bit odd and younger than my age, but that's about it. I've male failed two or three times during my whole transition.
Hiding breasts is a pain in the butt. Hoodies don't work anymore, even oversized shirts don't really hide them that well. If they keep growing I'll probably have to wear a binder.
Apart from that, HRT by itself is great, would recommend.
You don't have to hide your breasts
I will continue hiding them as long as I don't pass (which is forever)
Am I actually supposed to feel mental changes from HRT (beyond less libido)?
Personally, my HRT has only become more massive and debilitating since I started HRT, because I am excepting things to change and it's not happening.
i think you forgot a word
Aa the years add up it just gets increasingly weird, and for me it was less than 3 total. You might not pass but you will very obviously start looking suspiciously young and off compares to your peers especially if you're hitting mid 20s or later. People will recognize something is up with you even if they can't pin what. But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you
>But on some level they recognize that you're not a real man and stop applying certain aspects of the male social role to you
I can definitely confirm that part. They don't act like I'm a girl or anything but I can tell they don't see me as a guy like them
I did something like this for a few years. Was on HRT the whole time but skinny so I had no tits and a very clockable face. I didnt really care about trying to pass at the time and just presented butch. If i was gonna be in contact with people for a while, like at work, id come out but otherwise wouldnt volunteer that i was trans. Didnt even wear a bra for the most part. Never had any issues with people asking or anything. I just used men's bathrooms and shit if there wasnt a gender neutral one. But i was in a pretty gay friendly city so your experience might be different.
I've been manmoding for ten months now, it's kinda easier because I'm out to close friends and family and enby but in public/at work I'm just a slightly softer dude. It's not bad honestly. Last night I went out with this streamer dude for drinks since he's visiting my city, one person in the chat said something like "this guy is very feminine" but my voice and face are really masc still so those comments are rare. I'm not sure I can do this forever either, but I feel like I'm too tall and too fat to enjoy presenting fem anyway, furthest I go is putting on some XL women's jorts when I go to the bars. I dunno, manmoding sucks, but I get what I deserve, y'know?
I'm 4 years hrt post ffs and still boymoding
It's fine but I'm gonna try to start girlmoding so summer doesn't kill me and I want a bf
idk i'm at month 13 and i'm already getting looks even though i started at 26 and am 6'0. people treat me like a homosexual/a harmless man which is both nice at times and stressful. it's also really depressing because i feel left out of both cis life and trans life. i have other stuff to do beside transition so i don't really care for now but i don't think i can sustain this forever.
kindve my experience, people just see me as vaguely faggy
just keep your hair short and ime you can boymode forever.
>So how possible is it?
Depends on what HRT does for you. It didn't do much for me so I'm still boymoding in peace after six years.
>The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed
Dysphoria does that to you, yeah. I initially had very little social dysphoria, but developed it over time.
>How much truth is there in the "uncanny alien" look that people say it brings?
Not much if you actually commit to boy/manmoding and learn to dress for your look.
>Is it really just a certified road to ruin?
You are a tranny, you've been on a certified road to ruin since the moment you were conceived.
People reat you as a homosexual, a weirdo or a loser.
Joke's on them i'm all of the above in addition to being a tranny
I've been manmoding for 1.5 years so far, still look unquestionably male, constant suicidal ideation because I know that I'll never pass or even start malefailing and it's all pointless, will probably kill myself eventually
I know I'll never pass so I plan to manmode forever.
this was the only way I could allow myself to start hrt was by acknowledging this and doing it anyway
>The few older manmoders/boymoders here all seem incredibly unhinged and generally depressed
3 years hrt here and this is me I'm sorry but repressing until your 30s or later really fucks you up most times, I don't know how much of it is hinged on the gender identity expression or whatever but it seems like if you're choosing to associate with the manmoder label you're probably kind of fucked in some way even if that's just because you're bdd
I used to think it was repping that long that fucks you up, but I'm starting to think it might go the opposite way and it's being fucked up by childhood trauma that causes you to repress for so long. The healthy people just troon earlier
Im 100% happy and have been boymoding for about 3 years. I have a job and a husband. I do look confusing, but once people realize im not going to have an sjw tantrum if they say "he" everything is back to normal.
It is 100% doable.
I've been on HRT for 6 years and nobody suspects a thing, not even my family
The only thing that has changed is that people think I'm younger than I actually am
I'm not unhinged but I feel like I'm uniquely stable for some reason
The most unstable I ever get is crying in the shower, not posting hysterical messages wherever I can and threatening suicide or shaving my head or throwing my HRT, etc
I guess I'm depressed but I think I'd be less stable and more unhappy without HRT
I'm 1 yr and 1 month on hrt and no one suspects a thing. Though I have gotten "you look like a girl comments" but they're def joking or something
about 1.5yrs here and no one suspects or says anything, fwiw
have to hide my chest though
Yeah hiding chest is a given
For so long people have been like 'lol but your chest people will notice that' like no shit that's why you hide it you nincompoop
I don't want to go around with a man's face and tits
as a pooner with an unpassable skeletal structure, i plan on doing the reverse
Isn't T too strong for that
Not for some.
If you grow out your facial hair, everyone will assume you're a guy who was like malnourished as a child or something. Combine with T voice and IMO 99% of FTMs can "pass" (as somewhat odd manlets). Gain some fat and muscle to hide you female bones, embrace dwarfmode. But if you got fucked on body/facial hair growth and/or you want to be a smooth twink (like most fujoshi guys) you're gonna have a hard time.
>you want to be a smooth twink (like most fujoshi guys) you're gonna have a hard time.
exactly why i will resort to long term girlmoding unless i can get my skeleton fixed surgically, which is incredibly unlikely
Why is being smooth and twinkish more important to you than passing? No judgement I'm an mtf perma manmoder, I'm just curious
i want to look good to myself and reach perfection. another reason is that i associate beards, body hair, and fat with pooner bearmoders/fubmoders so i would be unable to pass to myself (even while "passing" in a progressive place where people are aware of ftms). i plan on indefinite girlmoding (femininely, in a way that accentuates my few masculine features) because being perceived as a butch is the ftm equivalent of being perceived as a drag queen while mtf, and (if i attempt masculine presentation) people seeing a dyke is inevitable with my height and skeletal structure without bearmoding/fubmoding
I do appreciate FUBs and bears but nothing makes me melt like an androgynous T-butch. You do you anon, you're probably my ideal type of partner and out of my league. I too want to reach perfection but I have a long ways to go. Godspeed.
the whole point is not to look like a butch though
3 years hrt and post FFS but still dont pass. I mail fail occasionally and I've had guys giving me 'the eye' randomly in the street. I started a new job 6months ago and they all assumed I was trans so I confused them all when I insisted I'm a male. I have to wear a binder even in hoodies now. Long term the plan is to get more surgeries and hope I can go further into femme territory.
That's so silly and fun anon. Insisting you're just a cis guy when you obviously look trans. Manmode, mansplain, manipulate!
manmoders, would getting electrolysis make you look younger or uncanny? I'm a 2 year hrt manmoder and want to get more hair removed but I have interviews over the next few months and don't want to get rejected for looking weird
Nah. You'll just look like a guy who likes a close shave. Just don't get overtreated like me, I'm several months out from a full face session that has completely ruined my face with scarring and hyperpigmentation :/
im at 9ish months (7.5 were hondose) and apparently everybody can tell so idk if it’s really possible but im stuck in this limbo until i can get ffs
It's entirely genetic OP. Some people will be completely incapable of boymoding due to breasts, others will never have any significant chest growth and can boymode forever.
Stay on HRT OP. Your anxiety will be more manageable with HRT and stepping off it will make you want to die.
I just stopped HRT today for ffs, can't wait to see what happens to my mental state .-.
youll power through it. T really is poison and you cant go back to it
Yeah I'm not looking forward to it, maybe yes just placebo but I think my boysmell is coming back already. I'm doing two rounds (forehead+nose, then cheekbones+jaw). So it'll be like.. 6 weeks off HRT in total? Whatever, at least it's for a good reason. Fuck these bones, delete all bones
its placebo, but it will be back before you can get back on. really take care of yourself, hope you have a good friend group to carry you through it, youll actually be suicidal, not even counting the surgery pain and how you'll think you'll never recover
happens to everybody.
It's really dumb. Are surgeons open to campaigning against stopping E if you're on monotherapy? I'm gonna ask mine before I book and provide evidence if possible. I can't see a reason why not if anti androgens aren't involved.
Like surely the stress of going from E to T to E dominant wouldn't be great for healing, especially wrt the psychological aspect
its outdated info plus not much research on it, afaik there's no significant danger from estrogen hrt and complications from ffs, but im not a doctor.
I wont tell you to ignore your surgeon, but some women do and are just fine. But every living person will tell you they've driven without a seatbelt and were just fine.
Thanks anons. I'm just gonna do what they suggest, but I really don't want to lose my hair so I'll probably stay on finasteride at least. Spiking my DHT cannot be good for me.
I'd gun for Dutasteride if you can. Simply on the basis it inhibits all 3 isoforms of 5 alpha reductase vs fin only inhibiting types 2 & 3. Hair follicles do express type 1 :v
Not sure I can find dutasteride here in Thailand, I already have fin so it'll have to suffice.
Can you order a 4-6 months supply as a stopgap, maybe? Idk if any of the pharms on the cafe ship to Thailand. 4 months to build up towards a steady state, then titrate off and back onto fin. Should 'only' be about $75 or so w/shipping, give or take a bit, depending on import tax. I've heard Thailand is meant to be quite strict on importing stuff tho, so I understand if not if that's the case.
anyone who boymodes for more than 2 years is an agp homosexual and should be executed immediately
But i am AM an agp homosexual
I'm man mode for 7 months so far and nobody says anything. I sometimes get compliments on my hair or skin quality from older women (~30-40ish) but that's it. They just think I'm a young man who takes care of his skin. I have to hide my chest but tbh on my frame it just looks like I'm fat if I wear a hoodie and don't bind. I am a bit overweight though so maybe once I've lost like 30 pounds I'll get the side eye.
Speaking of this I'm probably gonna be presenting male for a year or so and I want some fashion advice to hide boobs for casual and office and stuff
Tight sports bra with pads removed, undershirt, men's dress shirt. Sorted. Of course if you have huge tits you'll need a suit jacket as well.
I'm going to manmode forever because I don't care about presenting female and I'll never pass anyway.
Anyone passes with good levels, time, and effort!
I’m almost 2 years hrt.
Either you die a man, or you live long enough to see yourself become a hon.
I get asked pronouns rarely, but I am and am seen as a man.
Why not wear makeup and grow hair out?
Hair was longer, I’m doing incremental split end removal atm so it’s been short. Also because I work around all old white doctors who would cringe and laugh at me while making my work life hell.
Makes sense. I manmode the 1 day a week I have to show face at work too.
I manmoded for 1 year til I could pass relatively well with makeup and without being obnoxiously androgynous. Then I womanmoded. No one stared like I thought they would. No one cared.
My boobs grew too huge, how do I hide them?